Do you believe in feng shui?

My regular readers know I don’t have full-time household help. I have a cleaning lady who comes in once a week.  For the past three years she has been also my masseuse as she was my mother’s and an aunt’s. I have known her a long time.  When I told her I was terminating my cleaning man, she volunteered herself.  I pay well  —  P500 a day plus P100 food allowance because I don’t cook anymore.  She has no set hours.  She would come in at around 10 a.m. and would leave at around 3 or 4 p.m. It didn’t matter as long as the work was finished.

 Initially we got along well. Then one day one of my small antique bottles was missing and the bay leaves I kept in it moved to a plastic container.  “Did you break my antique bottle?” I asked her.  She said it just fell suddenly and she forgot to tell me. That annoyed me a bit but it passed.

 I am very patient but there is an end and when it comes, it’s all over. When I was moving house, she decided to put in her three cents worth saying she would pack this and that. I told her she did not have to. I hired professional movers. She insisted anyway. So I let her. But when we got to my new flat, I asked my driver to install an aluminum rack behind the maid’s toilet where it belonged. That’s what the aluminum rack was for. It was in fashion many years ago. I inherited it from my daughter.

She made a royal fuss. Why was I having it placed there? How would she go to the bathroom?  She could not lean back without hitting her head. She was objecting in a strident voice a few decibels higher. I said, then go to another bathroom. There are five bathrooms here. Choose another one. She insisted on having the shelves removed. Whose house is this anyway? It is my house, governed by my rules, I shouted back at her.

Later when I went to my bathroom I realized that the normal position we all used was to hold our heads forward, never to relax and lean back. So what was she talking about? 

Then she saw the electric shaver I bought my grandson. She asked for it. I said, I can’t give that to you. I bought it for Julian. It is his. Oh, she said and then soon after she dropped one of my little blue and white jars.  That patience tore.  “Ano ba? â€œ I asked. She said, it did not break.

I went out to buy hooks to hang a mobile I had made the day before. I had found cute little clay birds among my junk and a piece of arched rattan. I managed to hang the five birdies there at different lengths and the sixth one I put on the end. The end of the rattan fitted well into the bird. I set the mobile on my rocking chair. When I came back she was ready to leave. She was behaving awkwardly but I did not mind her because I was still annoyed from her dropping my blue-and-white bottle.

But after she left I noticed the bird perched at the end of the mobile was gone. I texted her. Did you break the bird? She said no but the mop handle knocked it down and it broke. I was so angry. I thought if she were around I would throw her off the 19th floor. I don’t even understand why but I was livid. I have noticed lately that you have lost respect for the things I do, I texted. She said, “Sorry, I have problems, please be patient.”

That did it. I texted back, I ran out of patience. And my massage on Saturday is cancelled.    

Part of me did not understand why I was so angry. I really did not know what to do. Would I take her back? Thursday is the day she comes to clean. She did not show up. All right, that settles it. I am finding myself a new cleaning lady.

Then I saw my Monkey (my Chinese horoscope) book. Every year I buy myself Lillian Too’s feng shui book for my sign.  This is a month of contentious stars.  You find yourself embroiled in petty squabbling, which may arise with customers, business associates, employees or just about anyone.  Others seem to disagree with you much more than usual and you may be left asking yourself if it is you or them. That’s what the book said and that was precisely my question — whose fault is this, hers or mine?

But she solved my problem by not showing up for work. I found a new cleaning lady who this far has cleaned like a dream.

So now — do we believe in feng shui? I am beginning to.

* * *

Please text your comments to 0917-8155570.