This particular gathering of ladies in New York City was fun because a lot of us came from all over the globe and had not seen each other for the longest time. We had so much catching up to do that it drove the only thorn among the roses, the husband of our hostess, out of the house to seek refuge elsewhere. The poor guy claimed that the decibels of our voices were shattering his eardrums and to avoid major damage to his auditory functions, he left us alone. We must have been really at the point of hysteria because I came home with a migraine.The hot topic of the evening was all kinds of cyber faux pas that seem to be a common occurrence for everyone. Some are not really laughable because of the hurt, tension, angst and stress that they cause. So one has to be really vigilant and alert when sending text messages and e-mails.How would you deal with these cyber faux pas?
1. Tess received an e-mail from Lady G, an acquaintance whose daughter is the classmate of her daughter at an Ivy League school in Connecticut. Lady G asked Tess the favor of hitching a ride with her to attend the parent/teacher’s conference at their kids’ school. It was a good two-hour ride and Tess could not bear the thought of being with Lady G that long as she is so boring, and they had nothing in common.
Not knowing how to excuse herself politely, she forwarded Lady G’s e-mail to her husband (who was away on a trip) with a note that went this way: “What will I do with Lady G’s request to ride with me? She is so boring and talks mainly about herself and what property she and her husband just bought and I can’t stand being with her for four hours total back and forth...”In a fit of senior-moment absentmindedness, instead of pressing the FORWARD key, she pressed the REPLY key. So the e-mail landed in Lady G’s mailbox! Hell hath no fury like a woman insulted! And hell did break loose afterwards because Lady G told her husband about it, who confronted Tess’s husband and they almost had a fistfight. Lady G also told their common acquaintances about the incident and made Tess look like a bitch!Moral of the story: Don’t e-mail nasty remarks! Use the telephone and make sure it’s your husband on the other end of the line!
2. Mona got a text from her husband that was obviously not meant for her: “My darling lover, meet you at six. Same place. Wear your sexy garters... can’t wait...”In the first place, he never calls her “darling lover.” He calls her “honey “ or “Mommy.” Secondly, she has never worn garters in her life! (That is, garter belts for thigh-high stockings, which some men find a real turn-on.) Hell has no fury like a woman betrayed! Hubby tried to get out of the situation by saying his cell was used by an officemate, but Mona went as far as to ask the officemate, who denied the allegation. Mona and hubby are now in the throes of a divorce.
3. Carrie is a rich lady who tries to hide some of her business dealings from her husband. Theirs is not a good marriage and she wants to play it safe. She sent a friend an e-mail and swore her to secrecy, saying that she had just bought a property that she was not telling her husband about.
Not being computer-savvy, she did not know that one must delete the e-mail afterward so as not to leave any trail in the SENT folder. Her husband went to her computer one day and checked her e-mails. All hell broke loose. Hell hath no fury like a husband in the dark about his wifey’s financial dealings! She is now consulting lawyers on how to go about separating properties. What is hers is hers while hubby wants a share of the big pot.
Moral of the story: get a prenuptial agreement. At the very least, you know that your partner is marrying you for love and not for the love of your money.
4. Gaya’s mother-in-law is a woman you love to hate. She is meddlesome, judgmental, and never has a kind word to say about Gaya. She could not stand the thought of another Mother’s Day with her mother-in-law criticizing her menu, her outfit, her children’s bad manners, etc. She made a master plan to disappear on the weekend of Mother’s Day. She sent a text to her own mother, who lives on the US West Coast, to invite her and her kids for Mother’s Day weekend. In the text, she lambasted mom-in-law to shreds. She scrolled down Mom2 and pressed SENT, not realizing that Mom2 was mother-in-law and Mom1 was her own mother. Another senior moment.
Mother-in-law raised hell and called a lawyer complaining about moral harassment. Hell hath no fury like a lambasted mother-in-law! It took a while for Gaya’s husband to pacify mommy dearest. To Gaya’s delight, they are not speaking to each other anymore.In the past, we had party lines who could listen in on our conversations but unless they had a tape recorder, it was difficult for them to prove any wrongdoing on your part. There were also sophisticated devices that could tape conversations if one was suspicious of a spouse’s infidelity, but those devices were expensive and not everyone knew where to get them.Nowadays, our cell phones and computers seem to be our own nemeses. Text messages and e-mails used for nasty messages can ruin people’s lives. So think twice before sending cyber messages that can change, ruin or devastate someone’s life — especially your own.