E-vites are fine but letters of condolences must be handwritten

I have several questions regarding letter writing. Can I send invitations, "thank you" notes, condolences via e-mail? Regarding an invitation, how do I address a lady doctor whose husband is not a doctor? How do I address a widow? When do I send a "thank you" note? Sorry for all these questions but I am just starting to learn all these things and sending out invitations to my big debut. – Lindy

Invitations can be sent via e-mail, and they are called e-vites. You can design them beautifully on the computer, too. However, even in today’s fast-paced, computer-generated world, the only way to write a proper "thank you" note or send condolences is through a proper letter. Everything – from the handwriting to the stationery and special delivery – keeps the art of writing a treasured and timely sentiment. We should never allow letter writing to become passe. Widows should be addressed by their married names on the invitation. A lady doctor whose husband is not a doctor should be addressed as "Dr. Lisa Belmonte and Mr. Wilfrido Belmonte." If both are doctors, they could be addressed as "The Doctors Belmonte." The same rule applies to judges.

These are instances when a "thank you" note is obligatory:

a)
after receiving a present by mail

b)
after a weekend visit

c)
after receiving a present if you’re in the hospital

d)
for wedding presents

e)
for shower gifts

f)
for letters of condolence

g)
after being a guest of honor at a party

h)
after a dinner at your boss’ home

"Thank you" notes for wedding presents must be written on formal stationery while you may use informal stationery for the others.

Here are some situations where a "thank you" note may not be expected but can come as a welcome surprise:

a)
after a dinner party

b)
a new acquaintance who has entertained you

c)
after receiving congratulations for a birthday or graduation

d)
when you receive money

c)
after a job interview
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A Touching Letter Of Condolence
My best friend’s mother died and I don’t know how to write a letter of condolence in a manner that would touch her. Can you please help me? – Gianna

Believe it or not, the key to writing a good condolence letter is not eloquence. In fact, it may not even be noticed. A good letter mustn’t seem like it was taken straight from an etiquette book. It is more important that the letter includes words of sincerity, comfort and something personal. For example:

Dear Roberta,


The death of a parent is always more profound than one can know in advance. It is without a doubt the saddest event in one’s life and certainly leaves a void that cannot be completely filled. Please accept my sincerest sympathy and prayers. I know that your mother was very close to you and her loss could be very difficult to cope with She was a very fine woman and my prayers are with you and your family. In the meantime, in the optimism of our faith, we can look forward to another life in the future together in joyful reunion with our loved ones.

With my love and prayers,

Marsha
* * *
Once More With Feeling, The 3-Day Diet
My friends and I have made plans to go to the beach during the forthcoming long weekend Oct. 30 to Nov. 2. My problem is I am slightly overweight and need a quick fix to look good in my sexy bathing suits. I know that my gym efforts are not enough to lose weight. I will need to go on a diet. I am a working girl so I cannot do starvation diets. Do you have a diet that you can recommend for me so I can lose weight fast without starving myself? – Miss Piggy

When I need to lose weight urgently, I follow this 3-Day diet that I kept from Mrs. Mary H. Prieto’s column that she published in the Philippine STAR many years ago. It is very effective if followed carefully. However, just as important as the diet is the maintenance that follows. Here are the diet and the maintenance tips as well.

1st Day:

Breakfast:
Black coffee or tea, _grapefruit, 1 slice of toast, 2 tbsps. peanut butter

Lunch: cup of tuna, 1 slice of toast, coffee or tea

Dinner:
2 slices any type of meat, (about 3 oz), 1 cup string beans, 1 cup peas or carrots, 1 small apple, 1 cup low-fat frozen yogurt.

2nd Day:

Breakfast:
1 egg, _banana, 1 slice of toast, black coffee or tea.

Lunch:
1 cup of cottage cheese, 5 saltine crackers.

Dinner:
1 skinless chicken breast, 1 cup broccoli, _cup carrots, _banana, _cup low-fat frozen yogurt.

3rd Day:

Breakfast:
5 saltine crackers, 1 slice of cheddar cheese, 1 small apple, black coffee or tea.

Lunch:
1 hard-boiled egg, 1 slice of toast

Dinner:
1 cup of tuna, 1 cup of peas or carrots, 1 cup of cauliflower, _cantaloupe, 1 cup low-fat frozen yogurt.

Diet works on chemical breakdowns and is proven. Do not vary or substitute any of the above foods. Salt and pepper may be used but no other seasonings. Where no quantity is given, there are no restrictions other than common sense. This diet is to be used three days at a time. Fluid consumption is important. You may have all the coffee, tea or water that you like. If possible, drink at least eight glasses of water daily. Artificial sweetener and lemon may be not used. Please refrain from any colas or other carbonated beverages during the three-day diet because the carbonation will slow down the chemical breakdown.

In three days, you can lose up to 10 pounds. After three days of dieting you may eat normal food, but don’t overdo it. After your four days of normal eating, start back on your three-day diet. Good luck.

As with any diet, please contact your physician and get his advice concerning exercise and fluid intake.

For best results, follow diet exactly. If you must substitute items, the following are acceptable with a limit of three choices throughout the entire menu:

Grapefruit:
Pink grapefruit or an orange

Peanut:
Boiled/poached egg or banana

Cauliflower:
Lettuce or cabbage

Tuna:
Skinless chicken/turkey or fresh fish

Cottage cheese:
Non-fat vanilla yogurt or 2 oz low-fat cheese

Beets:
Carrots or peas

Yogurt:
Ice milk 6 oz

Broccoli:
Cauliflower, cabbage or lettuce

Cantaloupe:
Watermelon or honeydew

Eggs:
4-6 oz. skim milk or 1 cup non-fat plain yogurt.

It is important that you drink 64 oz of water each day. You may have all the crystal light, coffee or tea (with artificial sweetener) that you want during your diet.

Recommended foods during your four days off: Beans, veal, mushrooms, watercress, eggs, bananas, skinless chicken, fish, carrots, peas, non-fat vanilla, low-fat yogurt, cauliflower, watermelon, oats, granola, eggplant, cantaloupe, onions, herb tea, sprouts, strawberries, vegetable juices, broccoli, peaches, pineapple, apricots, sweet potatoes, tofu, green peppers, cabbage, cherries, mustard green, brown rice, beets, spinach, dried fruits, tomatoes, grapefruit, peanut butter, brussel sprouts.

Food to avoid on your four days off: Bacon, butter, cake, candy bars, chocolate, cream, margarine, coffee creamers, fatty meats, French fries, cottage cheese, fried poultry, lobster, olives, oysters, pickles, pie, pizza, sugar, salad oil, salt, salted chips, sausage, soda pop, scallops, sugar cereals, sour cream, salted snacks.
* * *
Mail your questions to Mayenne Carmona at Stargate, sixth floor, Jaka Bldg., Ayala Ave., Makati City.

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