I punched my prom-date in high school!
No, it wasn’t because she was an out-of-control telekinetic like that socially outcast teenage girl in the 1976 supernatural horror movie Carrie who burned her entire high school class to a crisp during her prom night. My date was actually pretty cool. I liked her a lot and we had a great time that night (at least I thought so). It was just that I lost my nerve at the end and instead of kissing her good night, I gave her a gentle and playful tap on her cheek with my fist instead. I kicked myself as soon as she closed her front door for chickening out. So much for carpe diem.
February and March are prom months in the Philippines. For many teenagers, the prom is one of the most eagerly anticipated events in their high school life. It’s considered one of the rites of passage that a teenager passes through as they cross over into early adulthood. For boys and girls alike, it’s probably also the first time that they get to formally dress themselves in dazzling style from head to toe (or as that catchy Onesimus billboard puts it, “Prom head to toe”). Like many similar school traditions in the Philippines, I think that we inherited this practice from the Americans. The term “prom” is short for “promenade” which refers to “the march of guests into a ballroom at the beginning of a formal event or ball.” In the US, proms seem to have started as early as the mid 1800s although it wasn’t called “prom” until the 1890s. According to some historians, the first proms were “middle class replicas of the grand debutante balls.” Debutante balls then were lavish events held by members of the upper class to formally introduce their daughters to groups of potential and pre-selected suitors. Strict etiquette was practiced in these balls and everyone wore only the finest clothes. Many middle class parents wanted to recreate the experience for their children and developed the prom as a less expensive and less elaborate alternative. As such, the first proms in the US were relatively simple events. Instead of formal attire, the teenagers just wore their Sunday’s best. Preparations were likewise uncomplicated and all that was needed was a dance floor, some drinks, and a room where the boys and girls could socialize with each other. Proms eventually found their way into schools, first at the elite colleges and universities and then later on to high school where they became most popular. Festivities remained largely simple until the 1950s. As American society became more affluent after the war, so did their high school proms start to become lavish affairs and it is this tradition that we adopted in the Philippines. It wasn’t so bad 30 years ago when I went to my prom. Even then, however, I remember being so worried about not being able to afford a suit that I actually wrote my dad a letter listing down the rationale for buying one. Another classmate reportedly even gave his date a corsage that was sourced from a funeral parlor in order to reduce expenses! Apart from their share of the cost of holding the event itself, a parent today could literally spend up to the tens of thousands of pesos on their children’s haircut, makeup, gown, tuxedo, suit, shoes, and other paraphernalia.
Since my son and daughter are still in grade school, I still have a couple of years left before I have to worry about proms once again. Some people now say that it’s a useless exercise and that we should even consider just doing away with it. They claim that proms are not only overpriced, they’re also over-hyped and overrated. Maybe they’re right. But while I do hope that proms go back a little bit to their simpler beginnings, I don’t think that they’re useless. For one thing, they could be good learning and bonding moments for parents and their kids. When their time comes, how I hope that my son and daughter will come up to me and my wife and ask about our own experiences. I think that seeing how they’ll approach and prepare for the event could also give us some insights about them. As for the kids, the fact is that the prom is already a part of the entire high school experience. For better or for worse, it’s a part of their growing up. From agonizing over who to ask and then asking that someone to be their date, to trying not to look too stupid in a gown or tux while they dance, all the way to that moment when time stands still as they stand by the door with their date to say goodnight, the prom is something that they’ll likely remember 30 years later. Even if it turns out to be a big letdown or a disaster. Or, as in my case, even if they don’t get to kiss their dream date good night.
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