Dear Nanay,
I am 33 years old and have lost contact with someone very special in my life. I really miss him so much. And your column will be of great help, Nanay, for me to convey my feelings for him. His name is Alexander. He once asked me, “Do you love me?” But at that time I just said, “I don’t know.” It was my first time to encounter a man who was so straightforward about his sincere intentions because most of the time, some guys use “bridges” to get to me. He’s such a gentleman with a pure heart. I thought actions were enough for him to realize that I loved him, until he disappeared without warning. It has left me empty deep inside. Nanay, I don’t know if my letter will be published in time for Valentine’s Day so it will be a beautiful surprise just for Alexander. Nonetheless, if it won’t be possible, I still would like Alexander to know that even if there’s no occasion, my heart is his to keep. Some might have said that I am ugly and disabled to dishearten me, but my intentions toward Alexander remain pure and faithful. Hoping I’ll be able to see him soon.
Ninay
Dear Ninay,
We can argue that perhaps you should have said yes before when you had the chance. Unfortunately, that is all water under the bridge. Tapos na iyon at wala na tayong magagawa. (That’s finished and there’s nothing we can do about it.) Kalimutan mo na iyon. (Just forget about it.) What is important is what you will do today.
If you really still love Alexander then sending him one more “message” may not be a bad idea. Maybe this letter can be your “huling hirit” (last hurrah). If you do not get a reply, then maybe it is time to accept that perhaps you were not meant to be together. Kapag walang sagot, huwag ka na umasa. (If there’s no response, don’t hope anymore.) We don’t know where he is and we don’t know what he is doing. Maybe he is married? Maybe he is out of the country? Or maybe he is just not interested.
If he still does not respond, I think you should just take it as a sign, and it is time to move on. After all, there are still many fish in the ocean. Sincerely,
Nanay
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Taking Care of Elderly Parents
Dear Nanay,
In our family, I am the one who is taking care of our elderly parents because I am the only one who is single. Needless to say I end up spending for their needs. Is it acceptable if I ask my brothers and sisters for financial assistance?
Overspent
Dear Overspent,
If you cannot turn to your family for help, then where else can you turn?
I think it is completely acceptable for you to ask for financial assistance from your brothers and sisters. Explain to them that you are willing to be the one who will take care of your parents. You are willing to put in the time and that you understand that they all have families and other responsibilities. Pero, ipaliwanag mo din na yung kinikita mo ay hindi na sapat. (But also explain that what you earn is no longer enough.) Kailangan mo ng tulong nila. (You need their help.) And I am sure they will be more than willing to give what they can.
Maybe what you can do is talk among yourselves and you can show everyone the expenses you incur for your parents. Then you can decide how much each one can voluntarily give and see if that is enough. If it is not enough, then those who have more can maybe add a little bit to make up the deficit.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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If you have a question, e-mail us at asknanay@nationalbookstore.com.ph or just drop your letter at drop boxes in all National Book Store branches nationwide.