Dear Nanay,
Yesterday was the first time I read your column and I am glad I read it.
I have been wondering who to talk to about my problem, if you can call it a problem. But for me it is so hard and really a big problem. I don’t know how to start because it is a long story, but I will try to make it short.
I am 47 years old and have had a 27-year, same-sex relationship. We have problems that we can solve but lately, it has been getting complicated. And it became even more complicated when I met a 27-year-old Egyptian man through the Internet. We became friends and later, lovers. I know he also loves me and wants us to be together, but I have to wait because he has some plans for his family in Egypt. He is working as an accountant in one of the transportation companies in Abu Dhabi.
My lesbian lover hit me for the first time when she saw me talking with this man through the Internet, but that did not stop me. I am ready to let go of my lesbian lover; she is really hardworking but with her, I don’t move around that much. Frankly, I depend on her a lot but I love my new love more and am willing to wait for him.
This is my problem, Nanay, please help me. I am trying to keep her, but not for love anymore.
Thess
Dear Thess,
After listening to your story, I think you need to ask yourself, what do you really want from your lover or partner? Love? Financial security? Stability? After you have decided and set your priorities, you can look at your life and decide kung ano ang kailangan mong gawin para makuha ang gusto mo (what you need to do so you can get what you want).
For example, if you are looking for love, then maybe you will not find that in your old relationship. You said it yourself: “I am trying to keep her but not for love anymore.” So what does that mean? Siguro hindi mo na siya mahal. (Maybe you don’t love her anymore.) But if you are looking for stability and financial security, maybe that is something she can provide for you.
So look at what it is that you really want and compare that with what these two individuals provide you. From there, I think you can then decide what you really want to do.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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What is the severance pay law?
Dear Nanay,
I’m an overseas employee working as a quality auditor in a big company with 40 offices around the world. I’ve been overworking in this company for 10 years. It so happened that I was retrenched last Jan. 14. The company wants to base my severance pay on my previous salary. I would like to know what the severance pay law is in the Philippines. Is it computed by current salary or previous salary?
Lolita
Dear Lolita,
As with most questions that have something to do with legal issues, I am very hesitant to answer, not only because I am not a lawyer, but also because there are usually some unknown factors that might affect the answer.
The best thing you can do is consult with a labor lawyer. Make sure you give him all the facts surrounding your case so that he can give you the best advice as to what you should do.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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If you have a question, e-mail us at asknanay@nationalbookstore.com.ph or just drop your letter at drop boxes in all National Book Store branches nationwide.