You know, it really amuses me how we Pinoys laugh so heartily on mispronunciations, wrong grammar, and bad English. We laugh at these boo-boos as if we invented the English language and mock those among us who haven’t mastered it! Why is that? In Miss Universe contests, we forgive Miss Puerto Rico or Miss Germany whenever they struggle hard to speak straight English. If Miss Argentina, for example, says, "I am think I can changed the world by being helping others," we say, "Awww, she’s so cute, isn’t she?" When Miss Japan says, "I change world, uh, er, yeah, I change world tomorrow, ahh, love, peace, ah, taking care of people plenty, ahhh...", we say, "Cute ni Miss Japan, ’no? She’s trying so hard." But when the Filipina candidate says the same thing (e.g. "My best asset is my long-legged"), we roll on the ground, hold our bellies, cringe in uncontrollable amusement, and explode in laughter – almost bursting at the seams!
Why do we do that? I think I know why. Apart from the fact that we are a race that seems to find humor in other people’s miseries (why do you think slapstick is such a successful form of comedy in the Philippines?) – we also have the propensity to take things for granted. We take it for granted that when we watch these beauty contests, we are in the comfort of our homes, with zero pressure, with our family around us, and nothing at stake. No wonder we can answer the question quite smartly and confidently! And our poor candidate? Well, she is being watched by a billion people – 70 million of whom are her fellow Filipinos expecting her to make the next classic grammatical error – the next classic Miss Philippines joke. We take for granted that this same girl bested a thousand other candidates in the Bb. Pilipinas contest and that she went through rigorous training, both here and abroad, had to endure so many things– jet lag, environment and weather adjustment, withdrawal syndrome, dirty old men, bitchy fellow candidates, etc. She had to adjust with a hundred other female candidates around the world. We take for granted the fact that it’s a good thing that our candidate speaks marginal English and we don’t have to bring an interpreter. We take for granted the fact that the Philippines is actually lucky enough to even send a candidate. Some countries are too poor to even be concerned about beauty pageants!
To the candidates (past and present) of Bb. Pilipinas, this is what you can say to your detractors: "What do you take me for? Granted?"
I’m not sure where I heard that line before– I think I heard that in a movie or something (maybe Jimmy Santos) – I find it so hilarious – and actually very witty. In the English language, we do say quite often – "Hey, don’t take me for granted!" So, if you put it in question form, "What do you take me for? Granted?" actually makes sense. Funny. But you know what’s not funny? The fact that we do take a lot of things for granted.
I know what you’re saying..."Ho hum, here we go again...another article about us taking for granted the blessings in life, the flowers blooming, the sun in the sky, the beauty around us, our families, our comfortable homes, and comfy underwear..." Nah, I won’t bore you with that. Instead, let me tell you about a man who has inspired me to "not take things for granted" and helped me appreciate and be infinitely thankful for who we are and the things we have.
He is called by the people close to him as "Tito Nick" or "Manong Nick." Of course, to the select few who are a part of his family, he is called "Dad." Well, I too will have the privilege to call him that after Dec. 28, when I formally tie the knot with his daughter, Teemy. Now wait a minute, I’m sure you’re all going to say – "Hey, he’s writing about his future father-in-law! Isn’t that kinda sipsip and biased?" Well, yes and no. I admit that writing about my fiancé’s dad may be subject to suspicion. But you know, there’s a good reason for this. I can write about him because I know him. I can only write about people I know, right? I mean, I can’t write about your future father-in-law or your mom, or your uncle. Why? Because I don’t know them! Besides that however, my future dad-in-law, Tito Nick, is really worth writing about not because he is the dad of my fiancé I am writing about him because of my topic today.
When I went to Bacolod recently for my formal pamanhikan, I got to know the man behind the title "Father-in-Law." Sitting around and talking to him, I realized that Tito Nick, is a truly gifted man who used his blessings to the fullest and who truly appreciated each in every moment of his life – something we urban warriors have become too busy to do. But he was blessed not because he had everything in the world that he needed and wanted. He was blessed because he acknowledged the fact that he was blessed.
Tito Nick is one of those unique individuals who, despite extreme adversity and difficulties, seems to get things done. And he gets things done with such calm and class, it’s almost unreal. He runs his backyard bank as if it were a hobby. He deals with the farmers who come to his bank for financial assistance as if they are like old friends. His office is so unassuming but man, it’s been there for the longest time so you know it’s successful. But you know what? It’s a no-frills office. His desk looks like it could use a little varnishing. But it’s ok, it’s filled up with stacks of paper so it’s hardly noticed. His leather chair is amazing – it’s tilted to the left already, giving you an idea which side he favors when he’s thinking. The chair is so old (older than my fiancé!) that the spot in the armrest where his elbow would normally rest is torn up already. But to him, what makes his bank successful is not the aesthetics – but the poor people he helps every day.
He is a director in many companies but he doesn’t look like a corporate director at all. He doesn’t wear suits or barongs. And while he doesn’t look like a sugar baron– charan! – he is! He co-owns a sugar mill – something he helped build together with other planters/farmers who were being abused by the established sugar miller at that time. You know, that’s another thing I have taken for granted. You know, you just see these mills all around when you travel out of town. But Tito Nick told us to go visit his sugar mill and when we got in – WOW!!! I was soooo amazed with the complicated, intricate machinery. I didn’t realize processing sugar was such a tedious and mind-boggling process. The mill was just one massive, jigsaw-puzzle-like structure inside, with gigantic wheels and huge bins, engines, and chains. Nothing like I’ve ever seen before. I mean I’ve been to the Magnolia plant – back when I was a kid during field trips. But that was an air-conditioned tour. The sugar mill was a downright "man and machine" interaction. We were IN the machine! And I thought to myself – "Wow, Tito Nick is part of this? I mean, he was somehow responsible for this?!" I mean, if you look at Tito Nick, he is so unassuming and simple that you wouldn’t think of him as being all he is. After that visit to the mill, I certainly look at sugar in a different way. I certainly don’t take it for granted anymore. I didn’t realize the work involved in producing it. The people working there in the mill – wow, it’s just amazing. They were working in tough conditions – machinery all around, grease all over them, sweltering heat of over 100 degrees, loud grinding sounds. And to think that I sometimes whine about how much paper work I have to do or how our aircon in the office is too cold. Sheesh!
Despite who he is, what he has done, or what he represents, if you ask Tito Nick what is most important to him, he won’t even flinch – he’ll say, "My family." Okay, okay, I know that a lot of successful businessmen out there would answer the same thing –"My family." Yeah, right. When was the last time you went home at 5:30 so you could spend the rest of the day with your family (admittedly, I am guilty of this too!). And tell me, how many businessmen out there would have a diary, typed by themselves (using a typewriter, mind you!), detailing every event and circumstance surrounding their families? That would be too much, you say. Not for Tito Nick. He does keep a diary – and boy, what a diary! He has a diary of every major event of his life – including the deaths in his family. He showed us his typewritten diary detailing the celebration of his 50th wedding anniversary with Tita Niting. It’s amazing – the diary contains every minute detail of the trip. You won’t believe me if I told you – it was at least 30 pages long – like a thesis – containing every little point about the trip – EVERY LITTLE POINT! It talks about the time his grandchildren broke the key of the hotel room and every kid’s reaction to that dilemma, the details of their subway trip, the amount of money he took out from his wallet, the amount of change he got, the comment of his grandson RJ who noticed that a shirt that a guy was wearing had a picture of a guy making "wee-wee" and "pooh-pooh," it mentioned the problem that Tita Niting went through when her leg suddenly got swollen, the trip to the hospital, what the doctor said, etc. Heck, it even contained the detailed diagnosis of the doctor and the receipt for the medicine he bought. It was so detailed that it just made us shake our heads and say "WOW!" Frankly, if he had a toothpick laminated in the pages of the album, with the caption "I used this at Planet Hollywood." I wouldn’t be surprised! It was that detailed.
The detailed diary just showed how much Tito Nick appreciated every life – every second of it. It made me realize my own view in life, and how I seem to let every moment slip away without totally appreciating those moments. Not Tito Nick, he showed me that there’s good in every aspect of life – both the great times and the not-so-great times –and how this life is a gift and we should cherish every moment, every circumstance, everything around us – and, most especially, the people we share those moments and circumstance with. I now try to cherish everything around me. Just the other day, I kept the wrapper of a Juicy Fruit gum that I bought from a sari-sari store and placed it in my new diary and encaptioned it "this wrapper was used for the gum that I placed on my officemate’s seat and which my officemate eventually sat on." Well, actually I really didn’t do that – but you know what, if I did, I should really keep that wrapper to cherish a memory – a memory of my officemate giving me a blackeye!
So think about it – are you really spending a lot of your time in things that matter? Or do we spend a lot of time checking out the latest chismis in showbiz or doing things which have no value whatsoever. The next time you have that sudden realization, and you have a little voice telling you to prioritize your time and spend it wisely, don’t take it for granted! Might be too late, you know!
To Tito Nick, Happy 79th birthday and thanks for the lesson in life! I hope that someday, I would be a significant detail in your life – enough to be included in your diaries!
And by the way, thanks for your lovely daughter (she insisted I put this line)!