Many people, particularly those who are mending a broken heart, sulk and stay in the labyrinth of despair. But not Miriam Quiambao, 31, who, as she admits, has finally separated from her husband Claudio Rondinelli, 36, an Italian businessman based in Hong Kong, after two years of being married.
"There’s no third party involved. Our relationship just didn’t work," Miriam humbly clarifies. They decided to live separate lives last month because of personality, values and cultural clashes, according to the former Miss Universe 1999 first runner-up. Miriam and Claudio got married in Boracay in January 2003. The couple lived in a flat then transferred to a fully-furnished house in Hong Kong.
"I knew it (separation) was coming. We were already having problems soon after the wedding," Miriam says. The signs became more evident each day until Claudio told her that he was not the marrying type.
"A marriage is a partnership. How can you have children if you’re not a good team?" she says, adding that trust, respect and commitment are the values involved in a good relationship.
She all the more realized that they were not compatible when Miriam, through the funding of Claudio, started a business selling jewelry to Italy. "That’s when I discovered more that we cannot go into a partnership. How can I live with him and talk to him eye to eye when in fact he’s financially dominant. Money can be an element for control. But I am not saying he controlled me. Wala akong sariling pera. I feel guilty when I spend his money. Money does not make you happy. I had access to all the money in the world but I was not happy."
In Hong Kong, in the middle of her battle to make the relationship work, Miriam was diagnosed as depressed by a psychiatrist. Yoga and meditation helped her (and continue to help her) ease the pain. Because of these enriching exercises, she found herself whole in the middle of all the pains. From time to time she cries but she has the unyielding resolve to be all right. Now that she and Claudio are undergoing divorce proceedings, Miriam says they "are connecting more." They remain friends, she says, recognizing that there’s no more infatuation that exists between them. They became real, according to Miriam, the minute they discovered that they were not really meant for each other. It is a mutual and amicable agreement that they live separate ways. In fact, Miriam adds, even their marriage counselor advised them to split up for the sake of both parties.
"I don’t regret this experience," says Miriam with her voice registering calmness and composure. This humbling experience may be painful but she is without complaint. Where her marriage to Claudio ends, her union with her inner self begins.
"I realized that I must be true to my purpose in life by living out my passions – to connect with myself and others; to commit to my own personal growth; and to make a contribution not just to myself but to the circle of my influence," says Miriam who was at the peak of her career when she took the plunge three years ago.
For somebody who is emotionally scarred, Miriam can still crack jokes. "While Paolo Bediones was doing Extra Challenge in the Philippines," she says, referring to her co-host in a reality-based show on GMA 7, "I was also doing my extra challenge in my marriage in Hong Kong."
The worst for Miriam is now over and she is more than willing to move on. In fact, she gets herself busy with work, this time as the host of Pinoys Meet World, a soon-to-be launched "travel show with a twist" on GMA 7 which will have Miriam travel around the world to bring home the stories of our kababayans abroad.
The former beauty queen is also busy with her commitment to World Vision, whose advocacy is to protect the children from child labor. Even if she and Claudio did not have a child, children and their rights remain to be Miriam’s passion.
"As I empower the children, I also empower myself," she concludes.
(For your new beginnings, please e-mail me at bumbaki@yahoo.com. You may also snail mail me at The Philippine Star, c/o Allure Section, R. Oca corner Railroad Streets, Port Area, Manila. Have a blessed Sunday.)