MANILA, Philippines - Ten years is a long time to grieve. Ten years is a long time to remain angry. Ten years is a long time to wake up wondering what next.
This is especially difficult for Americans. Our attention span is short and we flit from issue to issue. For us ten years is a very long time. We have an urgent yearning to be distracted and to move on. But September 11 is different, at least for me. I haven’t been distracted; I haven’t moved on.
I had just flown to Seattle the night before and had gotten up very early on September 11. I turned on the bedside light and reached for the TV remote. The first tower had already been hit. As I watched the smoke rising from the upper stories, the newscaster droned on moronically about how there must have been something wrong with the navigational equipment. Then the second plane hit. I stared at the TV a few seconds more, and then reached for the remote control. I turned off the TV, I turned off the bedside lamp, I pulled up the covers, and went back to sleep, a Reptilian sleep: cold, empty, dreamless.
Later, the anger set in. It has not yet abated. Not even bringing bin Laden to justice has assuaged it. We all know that he was just one person and it is not that particular person but that particular worldview that threatens our world. I am not speaking of only America. I am not even just speaking of Western Civilization with its treasure trove of rights from freedom of speech and press to an unprecedented tolerance for other cultures and religions.
When I say “our world” I am speaking of the entire civilized world, a world that remains threatened by those who can with clear conscience intentionally destroy 3,000 innocent lives, who can intentionally destroy irreplaceable works of religion and art like the giant Buddhas at Bamyan, who would destroy the most humane aspects of their own religion in remorseless pursuit of their own narrow, perverted perception of Islam.
What is it about this tragedy that makes it different? It is not merely because so many people died a horrible death, because so many die so many horrible ways every day. Part of the answer I think is that this was a real tragedy and real tragedy has two indispensable components.
The first is avoidability. The inevitable, no matter how horrible, no matter how painful, at least offers the solace that it was beyond our control, beyond our wisdom, beyond what could be expected from us. But 9/11 was not inevitable; it was preventable. Some will be angry with this assertion. Inevitability is so comforting. Inevitability is so reassuring because it inevitably absolves us from responsibility. But this horror was not predestined.
The second essential ingredient: vanity. That the suffering seemingly was in vain – that no lasting good has yet come from it. Yes, we now pay greater attention to the Islamic world, striving hard to better understand it. Yes, we have improved intelligence coordination and law enforcement cooperation, and we strive to make the world safer and more prosperous. But the threat remains and discord in the world has not abated. In the initial aftermath of the tragedy that did not seem to be the case. Our country came together as rarely in our 235 years of history. More surprising, much of the world came together as it had never done in 5000 years of history. But these were fleeting visions and have not endured.
And I still wake up each day angry. Angry at those that flew the planes and those that rationalized the slaughter, those who danced in the streets and those who silently smirked, those who even today try to justify it and those who try to minimize it.
And I cannot shake the notion that somehow we failed: we diplomats, soldiers, law enforcement officers, and other public servants. We somehow faltered and 3000 died. Maybe that is too harsh. Better not to place blame. Perhaps it is enough just to say that I still see them in my mind’s eye, falling from the windows, unable to escape any other way.
And there are hard questions we need to keep asking ourselves. We owe it to the dead. What have we learned? How have our priorities changed? Is our vision less myopic? Are our policies more sound? Are we any wiser? Are we anymore secure? Can we bet on a future devoid of another September 11?
There has never been a period of history when so many people have lived so freely; never a time of such great and general prosperity. Thousands each day risk their lives fighting those whose religious nihilism threatens us.
Thousands more every day work long hours to protect the innocent and to lift up the downtrodden. Yet we still find our lives wanting. Our security and safety still out of reach. We live in a broken world; we live in a broken time. We come from broken places.
But, like Lincoln, we should “resolve that these dead” did not die in vain. The deaths of these 3000 should have meaning. Good can be brought forth from evil. We believe this because it is part of our continuing duty and responsibility to those who died. And there is no better way to honor these dead than to work humbly and honestly for a more just world.