‘Each time the guns went off, we said goodbye’

(The STAR is reprinting excerpts from the continuation of the Christian Broadcasting Network News interview with former Abu Sayyaf hostage Gracia Burnham, who spoke of her life with the Abu Sayyaf. The interview is posted on the CBN website www.cbn.com)

In her book, "In the Presence of My Enemies," Gracia reveals that Martin’s handcuffs had rusted out and actually didn’t work anymore. He could have escaped if he had wanted to, but he chose not to.

ROSE HILL, Kansas – From the very beginning, Martin and Gracia had been close. They were college sweethearts back at Bible college in Missouri. After marrying, they became missionaries and moved to the Philippines to serve with New Tribes Mission. Their family soon grew with the birth of their son Jeff. He was followed by daughter Mindy, and later, Zack.

Martin loved to fly and was the chief pilot for New Tribes. Gracia kept close tabs on Martin via radio as he flew to various mission sites. Life had been good, but after weeks of jungle captivity, dodging bullets and running for their lives, that life now seemed like a dream.

A video released in December of 2001 showed a skeletal-looking Martin and a distraught Gracia. Their captivity was clearly taking a heavy toll on their bodies and spirits.

The elusive hope of being rescued

As their ordeal dragged on, month after month after month, Martin had told Gracia several times that he didn’t think he would make it out of the jungle alive.

"He would say that every once in a while," Gracia recalled. "He was the eternal optimist though, but yes, in April, there were some times like that, and he started writing stories to the children. And for him to do that was very unusual, because he was the one who always said, ‘We’re going to get out of here. I don’t know when, but I just think we’re going to get out of here.’"

Gracia said, although there were times that Martin would wonder if they would be rescued, "If you would ask him the next day, he would say, ‘I think we’re going to get out of here.’"

To escape or not to escape

In her book, Gracia reveals that Martin’s handcuffs had rusted out and he could have escaped if he had wanted to, but he chose not to.

"Well, he couldn’t leave me, he chose to stay there for me... We would talk about, ‘Do you think we could escape? How far do you think we would get?’ And he would always say, ‘If we let this run its course and if somebody negotiates us out, we’re going to get to go home to our kids. If we bolt and run and it fails, we’re going to be dead.’"

Sharing their faith

Despite the violent nature and heartless acts of their captors, Martin still managed to share his faith in Christ with the Abu Sayyaf.

"Martin gave the gospel at least once to everyone that spoke English, many times to the leaders, Sabaya, Silima. You know what though, those guys already knew the gospel. That wasn’t news to them. A couple of them could recite John 3:16, it wasn’t like they hadn’t heard the gospel before. They had made a choice."

Thanksgiving surprise

"That was a freaky thing... This package showed up, just chock full of stuff, crackers, peanut butter, deodorant, soap, spice packets… it was wonderful and later that afternoon we just weren’t even thinking that was Thanksgiving Day [crying]. What a neat thing, God sent us something on Thanksgiving Day [crying].

Martin’s last day

"It was going to rain, so we set up our hammocks and our little plastic shades over our hammocks. Martin that day, just, we sat down on our hammock, before we laid down, he said to me, ‘You know Gracia, I don’t know why the Lord has allowed this to happen, but today I’ve been thinking about Psalm 100, how we can serve the Lord with gladness.’ He said, ‘Just because we’re here, doesn’t mean we can’t serve Him with gladness, so let’s serve the Lord with gladness.’ And then we just prayed together. Then we laid down for our nap and the gunfire started."

"And you know, we’d been trained to hit the ground, but before I could even hit the ground I was wounded. And it was wet already because it had been raining, and I kind of slid down the hill, it was a very steep hill and I came to rest by Martin. And I looked over and he was bleeding from his chest, so I could tell he’d gotten shot in the chest. And I knew from experience that that was not good [crying]… and he just laid there, kind of like he was in a deep sleep, kind of like he was snoring, he was just kind of breathing heavy and all of a sudden he just got real heavy, and uh, I had never been around anyone that was dying, so I thought maybe he just passed out."

"I was doing my best to just look dead, because the last thing I wanted was for the Abu Sayyaf to leave Martin there and cart me off into the woods. And Martin had always taught me to keep my head in a gun battle, so I was just laying there trying to look dead, and he got just really heavy. I could feel the weight…"

Gracia was still unaware that Martin was really dead. But when the shooting stopped, Gracia could no longer hear the voices of her captors. She immediately heard members of the Philippine military speaking, and tried to get their attention.

"So I just very slowly started moving my hands around so they would know I was alive, but I wouldn’t scare them, I didn’t want to get shot. They saw me right away and they came down, and they couldn’t get a good grip on me because I was wet and it was muddy. So they started dragging me up the hill [emotional] and I looked back at Martin and he was white. That’s when I knew."

Saying goodbye

"We said goodbye… I think each time those guns started going off, we said goodbye. There was one day I gave an official goodbye, a speech to him. There was artillery falling all around us one evening. It was on toward dusk and it was just mighty close, and I was so, kinda scared, and we were just sitting, resting. And I said, ‘Oh Martin, I just have to officially tell you goodbye,’ and I just gave this big speech about how life with him had been good. And he kinda laughed at me and said, he said, ‘You know, I’m not sure this is a healthy thing you’re doing.’"

On forgiving her persecutors

Despite a year in captivity and the loss of her husband, Gracia says not only has she forgiven the Abu Sayyaf, but she still prays for them. "That’s the least I can do I think. …I’ve got one of their pictures on the fridge, and we pray for him... A lot of those guys were bent on jihad and they truly believe in what they were doing. A lot of the young kids just needed a dowry so they could get married. It’s very important for a Muslim man to get married, and how are you going to come up with a dowry if your family’s poor. It’s just kind of hard to fault people for that."

Being together

As close as Martin and Gracia were, literally handcuffed together sometimes, the practices of their Muslim captors and the lack of privacy meant the only affection they could give each other as husband and wife was to look in each other’s eyes and say, "I love you."

"We said that a lot. Muslims don’t show affection a whole lot, man and woman, so we just tried to be very careful about that. There were a few times that I just really felt like I needed Martin to touch me, you know to feel him touching me, so after the sun would go down, when no one could see, he would brush my hair. And I would just say every once in a while, ‘Do you think when everybody’s asleep you could brush my hair tonight?’"

On getting close to God

"Something very special was going on there when I was held captive [emotional]. You know, here in the States, if I get thirsty, I go to the sink and I get something to drink. And if I get hungry, I go to the fridge and I see what’s there to munch on. In the jungle, if I got thirsty, I prayed to God and asked Him for something to drink and He sent it to me. And it’s different, it’s very different. I got to know Him in a very unique special way and I guess I wouldn’t trade that for anything."

When CBN News reporter Wendy Griffith commented, "I think a lot of people would be amazed to hear you say that," Gracia replied, "I’m amazed to hear myself say that."

Prayers from fellow believers

Meanwhile, Gracia had no idea that millions around the world had been following her and Martin’s plight, and in that time, The 700 Club wasn’t just reporting it, we were praying too.

Gracia dedicated her book to everyone who prayed. She explained, "Well, I think the prayers of God’s people got me home. I really do think that. God got me home, but I never get tired of saying ‘Thank you’ to the people that prayed for me."

Coming home

Although without her best friend, Gracia did come home, a bullet still lodged in her thigh. A radiant Gracia arrived at the Kansas City International Airport and into the arms of her three children. And a few hours later, she was greeted with a homecoming she will never forget as hundreds of people lined up along the street to cheer her arrival.

"Well, the unreal thing for me was, I didn’t know any of those people, and they were doing that for me [crying]. But then to see people on both sides of the streets cheering and clapping, they didn’t know me from Adam, and I kept thinking, ‘Martin would love this. Martin would be so shocked that people care like this.’"

And people continued to care. Once back in Rose Hill, the community came together to build her and her three children a beautiful new home, complete with western-style furniture and a very special stained-glass window over the mantle — a reminder of her year without a Bible, and a God who remained faithful through it all.

"I think what Martin and I figured out was, maybe we were just there to bring some light into a dark place, or some praise into a dark place spiritually, you know, just being people that could praise the one true God in the middle of nowhere where no one else was doing it."