Everyone looks forward to weekends. “T.G.I.F!“ It signals the start of the weekend. For families, it’s a time to bond and to relax without worrying about kids’ homework or the eight-hour office routine.
How do you usually spend your weekends with the family ?
Some love to go on roadtrips. Beach trips. Extreme sports. Adventure!
Some would opt to stay home. Bake. Play. Watch DVDs. Just chill out.
Some families are the mall rats type (I plead “guilty” to this).
The malls are like a second home to my family.
Although shopping malls are equated with commercialism and materialism, I figured the malling experience can still be a learning vehicle for your kids.
Here’s how:
1. Needs and wants
If a family frequents the malls, there is a tendency for the kids to have the buy-me-this, buy-me-that attitude. This is where you, as the parent, will test your skills in “money discipline.“
As a mom, I often have to wrestle with my five-year-old daughter Anya when she is at the toy section. She points to a lot of stuff that she already has. I remind her that she already has those at home.
I realized that sometimes, she just wants the “act of buying” something… regardless of the item. It feels like a conquest for her. It empowers her. This is where I teach her the difference between a “NEED and a WANT “
A firm “NO” also works. Most of the time.
I stand my ground… well, most of the time.
I admit though, that there are a few times when I enter into a “friendly compromise“ with my daughter — HOW? She “reserves“ an item that she really, really wants and I tell her we can buy that toy next time, during our next mall visit — if she does well in school. It gives her the satisfaction of looking forward to something. In a way, it is good also because she will not feel outright rejection.
2. Stick to a budget — and not a lavish one. Tell your children you work hard for the money that you give them.
When we’re in the mall and Anya asks for money, (we don’t give her regular school allowance — not yet) we give her from a minimum of P20 to P50, to a maximum of P200. We tell her that she should stick to that budget. Learn to budget that money. If she wants to buy something more expensive, we tell her to save or work hard for it. So she tells us, “I will bake cookies and make drawings which I can sell so I can earn money.“
We also give her tips: “Anya, I think it’s better to buy books with that money, rather than toys since you already have a lot of toys.“
Oftentimes, I’m relieved because she makes the smart choice and ends up buying a workbook, (Math and English) a sticker activity book or any book which captures her interest.
I also give her added treats. I buy books for her written by Filipino authors. I support the work of Filipino authors. For me, that’s important. To inculcate Pinoy values. It disappoints me that there is this bookstore which doesn’t highlight the works of Filipino authors. The local kiddie books are relegated at the back shelves or a corner which you won’t even notice. (Will write about this in detail in my future articles.)
3. No buying weekend.
Julius and I impose a “No Buying“ weekend to our daughter. Even before going to the mall, Anya would whisper to me, “Mommy, is it a No Buying Day for me today?“ She is aware of that. Yet sometimes, she would try to “charm her way “ and “make lambing“ to us and with those puppy eyes, pleads. We simply remind her: “This is a no buying weekend.”
Since we are at the subject of malling. This weekend, seize the opportunity to point to your kids where the fire exits are. (Dads and moms, do you know where the mall fire exits are?) Tell them who to approach if and when they get lost (the mall security guards). Make sure they know important information about themselves but tell them to only divulge the info if they get lost and the info is needed. This is tricky because usually, a child will not be able to assess the situation until he reaches a certain level of maturity. Hence, your child might give your cell phone or home telephone number unwittingly to a criminal. Sigh… There are just too many “big bad wolves” out there waiting to pounce on their prey — your child. Makes you paranoid, right?
So it’s best not to leave your child unattended. Be alert. Be attentive. A few seconds of carelessness on your end would mean losing your child to possible kidnappers.
I wish you a happy, productive weekend. However way you’ll spend it, bond with your kids. Just remember that on top of the joy of malling, be safe. Spend wisely, too.
(More on mall security in my next article. I’m thinking of rating the malls in terms of security, from a parental point of view. You can also e-mail your suggestions at t.bersola-babao@parentin.tv).
Must Read:
Mary Joy Abaquin, directress of the Multiple Intelligence School (MI school) will launch her book titled Go Negosyo’s 8 Simple Secrets to Raising Entrepreneurs on Feb. 8 at the Rockwell Mall. The book is a must read. It helps parents and teachers develop the entrepreneurial mind of children. It has simple practical tips and activities parents can do with their children. Grab your copy now.