Well, amidst all this madness, I have decided that it is finally time for me to tie the knot with my fiancee, Eric Ladines Villarama, of almost two years. Although it may not seem like the best time to do so, I know deep in my heart that it is.
In line with this, I would like to invite you to take part in this most joyous occasion. It will take place at the Bacara Resort in Santa Barbara, California, on June 9th, 2003, Monday, 5:30 p.m....
That’s an excerpt from the letter(s) Donita Rose (Cavett) sent to the wedding’s principal sponsors, including Gary Valenciano and wife Angeli Pangilinan (Donita’s manager), Leo Martinez and wife Gina Valenciano, Ricco Ocampo and wife Maristela (distributor of the i2i glasses of which Donita and Jericho Rosales are image models), Menardo Jimenez and Annabelle (Rama) Gutierrez, German Moreno and Tess Cruz, Manny Pangilinan and Wilma Galvante, Tony Tuviera and Mother Lily Monteverde, and Jaime Zobel de Ayala and Rev. Dory Villanueva.
Donita is 28, Eric is 26. But what difference does two years make?
"Why did we decide to get married in the States and not in the Philippines?" asked Donita. "Well, most members of our families are there. If we do it here, we’d be obliged to invite as many people as we could accommodate. I’m being totally honest. When it comes to your wedding day, it’s not about pleasing the world but pleasing yourself and making sure that you have your dream wedding. There’s, of course, the question of finances. It’s expensive to fly all our relatives from the States. We’re just being practical."
Besides, Donita added, she and Eric are scheduled to attend their church’s conference the following day (June 10), both of them being Christian. After that, they’ll fly to Hawaii for their honeymoon.
But that’s getting ahead of the story. First, let’s see how it all began...
Are you sure about settling down – now?
"Oh, yeah....a long time ago! But Eric and I had to wait awhile before we could announce our decision because we had to get permission from MTV first and we wanted to be very sure that we’re gonna go through it."
Baka naman nainggit ka lang kay Ruffa (Gutierrez, her best friend who got married to Yilmaz Bektas last March 25, with Donita as one of the secondary sponsors).
"Not at all! Nauna pa ako kay Ruffa mag-decide."
What sort of wedding do you have in mind?
"There’s going to be about 110 to 120 guests, to be solemnized in a resort called Bacara in Sta. Barbara, a few miles away from L.A. A Christian wedding. Eric and I are both Christian. It’s a simple wedding, actually, nothing as fabulous or as big as that of Ruffa and Yilmaz."
(To Eric) How did you propose to Donita?
"It’s a long story...Do you have enough time?...Okay, I planned it about a month and a half before the day....I was targetting Christmas Day 2001.. Before then, I was just talking to Paul, Donita’s brother who’s a good friend of mine. Her birthday, Dec. 5, had not hit yet, and Paul and I were thinking of something to surprise Donita. Then, I just realized, ‘Hey, she’s an actress!’ So I thought of something ‘cinematic,’ some kind of a ‘preview’ to the engagement. So I did a movie trailer..."
...a movie trailer?
"...yes, a movie trailer. It traced our love story, how we came to know each other way back in 1988, how we fell in love – you know, the story of us. I wanted to show it to her on Dec. 25, Christmas Day, but it didn’t happen because I still had to ask the permission of several people, first of all her mother. I was able to talk to her mom only on the 26th. She was the last person from whom I had to ask permission to marry Donita. The proposal actually happened in San Francisco, on Dec. 27. I asked Donita, ‘Hey, come with me to my boss; I have to pick up a package from him.’ My boss lived near the Golden Gate Bridge. We drove all the way there and we waited outside. ‘His car isn’t here, so he might come home later yet,’ I told Donita. ‘Would you like to take a walk?’ We went to the cliff overlooking the San Francisco Bay. The view from there was just stunning, perfect setting for my ‘surprise’ proposal."
How romantic! Did the place have any significance in your and Donita’s romance?
"We’ve been oceans apart per se since we got separated in 1991. My family had to move from the Philippines to the States and Donita decided to stay behind to pursue her career. But despite the distance and the oceans that separated us, the Lord really brought us together no matter what the odds were...no matter what the circumstances of our separation were. So I thought that spot in San Francisco was very symbolic of our relationship, since we felt like we were on top of the world at that very moment."
Very much like two people in love...
"...as we walked by the cliff, I gave her my black trenchcoat because – I don’t know if other people know about this but – she hates the cold. It was around five o’clock in the afternoon and you know how cold San Francisco could be at that time of year. And then, I pulled her aside and I told her, ‘I have a surprise for you.’ I handed my backpack to her and when she opened it, she found an 18-page album on which I wrote the story of us. She read it and on the second to the last page, it said, ‘The knight (instead of the prince) and the princess are walking in their kingdom and the princess sees a white cloth on the ground...’ Then she opened the book to the last page and she found a white handkerchief and she looked at me with a big question mark on her face..."
...surprised, I’m sure!
"...I asked her, ‘Do you know what this (handkerchief) signifies?’ She was clueless! And then, all of a sudden, her eyes popped. The white handkerchief meant ‘surrender’! I took the handkerchief from her and put it on the ground and then I took out the small box from my pocket, containing the ring. Automatically, Donita put her hands to her mouth, her eyes wide open, with a ‘shocked’ look on her face. She started screaming. As I put the ring into her finger, I told her, ‘No matter what happens in our lives, I will always respect you...I will always take care of you...And I will always love you!’ That‘s the most in-depth description I can give you of that memorable day. All the while that I was proposing to her, I was on my knees."
Donita: It was gorgeous, beautiful, very imaginative!
Eric: And as dusk started to cover the Golden Gate Bridge, I asked her, "Donita Rose Ramos Cavett, will you marry me?" And her answer was...
(To Donita) Your answer was...
"Well, my answer was, ‘Oh, my God, did you ask my Mom...my Dad...my auntie...my uncle...Tita Angeli...Tito Gary...did you ask everybody?’ He looked at me and said, ‘Yes, yes, yes! I asked all of them!’ That was the sign I was asking from God, something Eric didn’t know. I was asking God for him to first ask the permission of people close to me, people I love, before he ever thought of proposing to me. I was praying for that sign. I was surprised that Eric got my Mom’s nod because you know my Mom, she hated every man who courted me...I guess she didn’t want me to get married until I was 60! I was quite surprised that she said ‘yes’ to Eric. I asked Eric, ‘Are you sure that my Mom said yes to you?’ Of course, the other sign I was asking from God was for the guy to be a Christian like me."
You shed tears of joy.
"Oh, yes, I did! I cried even more when he asked me to kneel on the white cloth (handkerchief) on the ground, telling me, ‘This white cloth signifies my surrender to you and your surrender to me and surrendering our relationship to the Lord.’ And then we both said a prayer together. At that moment, I knew that that was it; that there was no turning back anymore, no matter what happened. I told myself, ‘I’m gonna marry this guy even if I have to lose everything.’ We were both crying as we hugged each other."
What happened after that?
"It was my Lola’s birthday. On the way back, I wanted to eat Thai food, my favorite, and Eric wanted to take me to this Thai restaurant but he couldn’t find the address. Then, nagkataon lang, I felt like going to a restroom, so Eric decided to pull over. When we turned, there it was, the restaurant we were looking for, right before us! After dinner in that Thai restaurant, we went back to the house. I was excited to show everybody my (engagement) ring. I was shaking! (The ring is 1.5 carats, Donita reluctantly revealed. - RFL) When I showed my Mom the ring, she told me with a big smile, ‘I knew already.’ I forgot that Eric had asked her permission first before he proposed to me."
How long did you go steady with Eric before he proposed to you?
"Two years. Actually, we’ve known each other since we were kids. When we first met, he was 11 and I was 13. That was in 1988. He was in love with me since then. I knew all along that Eric had a crush on me. You see, Paul had two best friends, Eric and Alvin who were best friends in Spain before they moved to the Philippines. Alvin also had a crush on me; pareho sila ni Eric. Everytime I went to Alvin’s sister Karen’s house, Alvin and Eric would always peep in, trying to find out what Karen and I were doing. Typical boys, you know."
Did you pretend not to notice them?
"I didn’t care. You know, they were like two little dorks. Paul was always talking about Eric. While I was in Manila pursuing my career, Eric and his parents were living in Japan, in the US military base, and Paul was living in Japan, too, in Okinawa, with my parents. They would visit each other from 1991 to 1995. Both my and Eric’s parents were with the US Army. From 1995 to 2001, they didn’t see each other anymore. Paul went back to the States. In the later part of 2001, they bumped into each other by acccident in States. By coincidence, they were wearing identical outfits and identical haircuts. They couldn’t believe it! That same evening, we went out together, the three of us, and Eric said to me, ‘Hi, Susan!’ He thought I was my younger sister Susan. Paul told him, ‘That’s not Susan; that’s Donita.’ Eric later told me that his heart started beating fast. I remember him telling me, ‘I’m taller than you now!’ And we both had a good laugh."
Could you tell us more about Eric?
"He‘s a senior art director for an advertising agency called Formul8, also based in Singapore like I am because of my job at MTV."
Did you renew your friendship in Singapore?
"No, he wasn’t there yet at that time. In June 2000, we met at a church conference in L.A. and I told Eric how I found God, how I developed a new relationship with Him. It was I who invited Eric and Paul to the conference but Paul backed out at the last minute. First thing Eric told me was, ‘I’ve been e-mailing you but you didn’t answer.’ I thought it wasn’t proper for me to answer him. By December 2000, we kind of liked each other already, pero wala pa kaming relationship. During a New Year’s Eve party in Las Vegas, I was with Ruffa; Eric was also there. Out of the blue, when the clock struck 12, I said, more to myself than anybody, ‘God, I wish I had a boyfriend; I wish I had somebody to kiss.’ It was a joke. At saka, that’s the tradition, di ba?"
Did Eric bite the "bait"?
"Later, he told me that he did want to kiss me but he didn’t. Good. If he did, I would have been turned off. Our relationship wouldn’t have worked. I was already a Christian and I was waiting for my GPC - you know, God’s Perfect Choice for me."
Why, what’s wrong with a kiss, maybe a "harmless" kiss?
"As I’ve said, I was already a Christian then. I wanted to wait till we got married before we kissed. And besides, I didn’t believe in pre-marital sex; we both don’t. Ever since I renewed my faith with the Lord, I made a vow that I would wait until I got married before I have sex with anyone. Anyway, to make a long story short, Eric and I met again in June 2001 when Paul invited Eric to the Philippines for a vacation. That’s when I realized that for two years, I didn’t have a boyfriend and Eric didn’t have a girlfriend; he was single and I was single, too."
So you fell for each other at the right time... in God’s own time.
"It’s amazing how God was preparing us for each other."
There’s a rumor that you and Eric were living-in in Singapore... that you’re pregnant (just like Ruffa was on her wedding day), that’s why you decided to get married "in haste".
"No, that’s not true. That’s not true! Eric stays in his own pad and I have my own pad in a place called Birmingham Mansion where five other guys from my church are staying. I travel back and forth between Singapore and Manila, trying to keep a balance between two jobs, and Eric is busy with his own job, attending to several clients, one of them Nokia. Eric is the senior art director of the Graphics Design department. We are both so busy that we can meet only at 7:30 or 8 o’clock in the evening and that’s when we prepare for our wedding. There’s been a couple of times when we finished at 3 or 4 o’clock in the morning and we had to go to the gym at 7:30, so he had to sleep in my house. But, and this is the big but, he didn’t sleep with me; he slept in the sala; and we didn’t have sex. You see, Eric and I are accountable to our church. He meets with his pastor once a week and so do I, with my pastor’s wife. We also meet once a month for counselling."
So that’s loud and clear.
"Our pastors were telling us that even if Eric and I were not doing anything, it wasn’t nice for him to be sleeping in my house because people would think that we were living together. I understood that. So Eric has stopped sleeping in my house. I want to clear that not because I care about what people would gossip since I’ve been through a lot and I’ve become immuned already but because I’m a Christian and I want to be a living testimony to people; I want my life and Eric’s life to set a good example for those who want to experience the kind of joy and happiness that we are experiencing in Christ."
What do you like most about Eric (aside from his being Christian like you)?
"Oh, he’s so funny! Everybody says that he looks a bit Chinese but he’s pure Filipino. His family is from Quezon Province. He was born in Japan where his father was stationed and then they stayed in Spain for five and a half years before they came to the Philippines. I’ve been saying that if I got married, the guy should be a mixture of all my best friends, such as Mo Twister, Ruffa Gutierrez and Rachelle Ong (from Singapore) - and, of course, my brother Paul. I can be myself with them, meaning I can be hilarious. Eric is a mixture of all of them. He’s my best friend, my lover, my spiritual partner, my everything!"
How would marriage affect your work at MTV?
"They told me that if you’ve been with the company for too long, you’re already associated with the channel. I agree with that. I love MTV so much and I don’t wanna leave it. I’ll still be working with MTV, maybe on a per-project basis."
Where do you and Eric plan to settle down?
"In Singapore. We’re planning to set up our own company. For the first two months, Tita Angeli wants me to be a full-time housewife - you know, cook for Eric and keep house for him."
And how many children do you want to have?
"Three. But we plan to have the first one three years later. We want to enjoy each other’s company first."