Guarding Your Kids' Internet Chatting

CEBU, Philippines - The Internet has, indeed, very much enhanced the way people communicate with one another. It has virtually reduced the world into a global village, where people in different hemispheres can keep in touch like next-door neighbors. Words can now traverse great distances - in a fraction of a second!

But while the communication cyber highway is certainly making certain areas of our lives easy, it also poses a threat in other areas. We're seeing, at least, the initial cost in terms of privacy and safety. Total strangers now easily go in and out of our homes when we - especially our kids - go chatting online.

But there are ways to restrict, if not totally contain, the intrusion of strangers when our home computer is used for chatting online. These are easy for parents to do, but need consistent effort to enforce. Here are some of them:

1. Position the home computer where you can see the monitor.

As parents, you should know what anyone is using it for, at any time. There should be no secrecy in home computer use. Just because they're at home doesn't necessarily mean that the kids are totally safe in their chatting online. They still need close parental supervision.

2.  Set rules for acceptable uses for the home computer.

Involve the whole family in defining exactly what is allowable and what is not. For instance, it has to be clear to the kids what kind of websites are okay, which chat rooms they may visit and what kinds of things to talk about there. Then make sure the rules are properly observed by everyone.

If necessary, impose logical consequences for when a child disregards the agreed rules (like grounding him or her from the Internet for a week). Do not, however, threaten to ban the Internet forever; such kind of sanction is irrational.

3.  Do not leave your kids alone surfing the Internet for long periods of time.

This is when they are most vulnerable. Make sure that their Internet time occurs when you are around in the house so that you can check in on them regularly. Set strict time limits for Internet use. Internet addiction is a real thing!

4.  Encourage open communication between you and your children.

Stress to the kids that they need to tell you when they get any devious or upsetting messages while chatting online. Assure them that you will not be angry with them nor will you ban the Internet as a result. Make it clear to the kids that you understand that they cannot control what other people say to them and that they are not to blame if this happens.

5.  Explain to your kids the possible risks of chatting online.

Make it clear to them that people in chat rooms are mostly strangers, no matter how often the kids chat with them or how well they think they know them. They should not, therefore, fully believe everything people say in chat rooms.

6.  Emphasize to your kids never to give vital personal information in chat rooms.

Kids should never tell a person online their real name, their school, their phone number or where they live. Make the kids understand that while the people they meet in "chat rooms" may seem to be nice, they are still strangers.

7.  Instill a polite but firm  behavior in your kids.

Be sure to stress that they are to behave politely and respectfully at all times, including while chatting online with strangers or sending email to friends.

8.  Learn to surf the Internet and chat online yourself.

That's the only way you will fully understand what it is that your kids are doing, so you can effectively supervise their activities online. If you don't know how to chat online, then ask your children to teach you.

9. Do not use the Internet to send the kids away!

It might seem an effective way to keep your kids from bothering you to send them chatting online. But the momentary peace and quiet may come at a very dear price. You won't know what bad influences the strangers on the "chat rooms" will cast on your children.

10. When a problem occurs, stay calm.

When you discover that your children have been secretly chatting online, don't panic. Your panicking can only traumatize the kids or get them more curious. No one can actually cause immediate harm on your kids on the Internet. As long as you stay watchful, you're likely to be able to intervene accordingly before any real harm can be done on the kids. 

Another important thing: Discourage your kids from going to public internet cafes.

There, you won't have control of their activities. They will be in the company of fellow youngsters who, like them, may be too innocent or too reckless in dealing with strangers when chatting online. And, of course, there's the extra financial cost that goes with it.

Since many internet joints are located near schools, it may be hard to ensure that your kids don't go there. One solution is not to give the kids extra money. For their lunch and snacks, for instance, it can be more economical, safer and healthier to make them bring food from home rather than giving them money. (FREEMAN)