The trees that you can climb

CEBU, Philippines - Of the many trees that you can possibly climb this summer, I will not primarily recommend the Caimito tree.  You may have been eyeing this tree since you first saw it last year, standing gigantic at the back of your grandmother’s house in the province but I warn you it’s not the sturdy tree that you can climb on.

Yes the tree looks just fine, like all the trees around—tall with green shiny leaves (brown underneath), fruits that are so inviting the moment they turn from green to purple, and that big trunk. But look closely.  Can you see the bark on the branches?  Aren’t they peeling off or cracking?  Isn’t this a sign that the tree is weak?  Do a mental experiment of putting yourself on one of the branches (maybe standing or clinging, whichever you like).  Haven’t you heard a cracking sound coming from where the trunk and the branch meet?  If you haven’t, try placing your best friend beside you to add more weight.  Still you haven’t? 

 I tell you, three boys once fell off a Caimito tree together with the entire branch (13 feet long approximately). They were clinging on while cheerfully eating the fruits without plucking them from the branches (by the way, have you tried eating the fruits of a tree without ever plucking them out?  Cool, huh?  Bend the branch and eat all you can.  Funny  because the entire branch gave in.  Luckily, when they hit the ground, they were standing beside the poor branch as if the 10-feet drop was nothing.  Everyone applauded.  They became instant celebrities that afternoon.  That could have won them round trip tickets to Oprah or Ellen if somebody was only able to capture it on cam and uploaded it to Youtube (impossible because that was 24 years ago).  Later that evening, I heard they each received belt blows from their parents aside from a number of pinches near the kidneys. 

 Question:  What if they hit the ground head first?  Or broke a leg or arm?  What if you don’t listen to me as you go climb that Caimito tree at the back of lola’s rickety old house?  Do you think you have the money for the taxi, the X-ray, the cast, and the cast removal?  Yes, you may be rich but what if your mother will have a heart attack the moment she sees a bone sticking out of your elbow?  Can you put back everything the way they were?  So listen to me, kid.  First in my list of the most dangerous trees to climb is the Caimito tree.  The Siniguilas tree comes in second.  You may be tempted by the fruit of this tree because of that fibrous feeling on the tongue and teeth and the sweet and sour taste that you love to pair with salt melting in your palm, but don’t you ever climb this tree either.  This tree is so weak you feel the danger the moment you see it.  The leaves are mostly gone but the fruits are there clinging to its pale branches.  I once climbed this tree and like the Caimito tree, I heard seemingly endless cracking sounds from its branches each time I moved, so I jumped back to the ground.

Third on my list is the Mango tree.  I would be lenient on my warning this time because this tree is low-lying.  It grows laterally, not so much vertically.  Meaning, the branches sprawl to the sides like corals.  You can bend the branches a little but not too much.  Children love to stand on the lowest branch (the one that’s almost touching the ground), hold on to a parallel branch on top of their heads and jump on it until sunset.  This is the tree from which my son fell, getting a slight deformity on his left elbow.  But he fell not because the branch gave in but because one foot missed the branch.  When I went to the tree to examine how my son fell, I discovered thick moss on the branches.  Moss is slippery wet because of the moisture they get from the air.  This makes the Mango tree a dangerous tree to climb.

 The fourth dangerous tree to climb on my list is the Nangka tree.  But why would you climb a Nangka tree?  There’s nothing much about this tree.  The branches are small and the leaves are not so attractive— just dark shiny green and yellow when it’s already dead.  And the fruit?  The fruit is so big you don’t bother to climb because sometimes while walking near this tree you accidentally hit it with your head and get deep spike marks on your forehead that will eventually just disappear.  You can even try checking the sturdiness of this tree yourself by reaching out to one of the branches while on the shoulders of your best friend.  Pull it down and you see that the branch will snap easily the dark trunk.  And you will meet the black and red ants on your way up.  Surprise! 

Now, if you really want to climb a tree not because of the fruits but because you just want to be like Katniss Everdeen in Hunger Games spending the first night of the 74th hunger games on top of a willow tree or maybe you just want to climb it because it’s your first time just take note: willow trees are sturdy trees that are good for climbing.  But the sad thing is we don’t have so many willow trees around here.  It’s because willow trees thrive in cold and temperate regions of the Northern Hemisphere, mostly on moist soils.  However, I have on my list good counterparts for a willow tree. 

 If you want trees that don’t easily break under pressure, you can try the elastic four: Guyabano, Tambis, Santol, and Bayabas.  The branches of these trees can bend to whichever way you want.  Guyabano is the most elastic.  Tambis comes in second.  Santol is third.  Bayabas is not only elastic but very strong.  That’s why of all the trees God gave us, it’s my favorite.  Tambis is not my favorite because of the black ants that’s almost everywhere.  I don’t usually climb Guyabano because some fruits rot while still on the branches (of course ants are there, too).  Santol to me is the most difficult not-so-big-tree to climb.  It’s because the branches are too high, meaning if you stand near it all you see on eye level is the trunk.  And that would mean, you cannot climb it alone.  You need a friend or playmate that can serve as foothold for you to reach the nearest branch.  I suggest you plant Bayabas in your backyard because it’s not only you who can benefit from it but your offspring, too.  Of this tree, you can do anything you want—hop, transfer, swing, cling, sit, run, and stand.  You may also want to try the Twin Towers: the Sambag and Lomboy trees.  They are very strong and with fruits to hanker for.

Hey, before you climb any of these trees, check first if high tension wires from the city’s electric company are not passing through it.  And steer clear of those beehives, they’re very dangerous.