Parents And Peer Pressure

CEBU, Philippines - Studies have confirmed that among teenagers, alcohol use, smoking, pre-marital sex and drug use have been strongly influenced by peer pressure.

According to Dr. Ma. Cecilia Conaco, psychologist and Dean of College at Saint Theresa’s College- Cebu, teenagers face a lot of pressure in their efforts to conform to their peer group since “it cultivates self-esteem if you are accepted by the group.”

“The peer group is the strongest reference group for the adolescent. Because it seems to be the most potent contextual group for teenagers, then it holds a major reward (acceptance) and punishment (rejection) ability,” stated Dr. Conaco.

At a time when teenagers are widely confronted with identity issues, peer pressure is at its greatest. In order for them to discover who they are and establish their identity as individuals, they tend to “see themselves in the context of the others around them.”

Teenagers who lack parental care and guidance are likewise vulnerable to peer pressure. Dr. Conaco pointed out that many of today’s adolescents belong to broken families, either because of parental conflicts or because of parents working overseas. Due to the absence of an adult figure, they lean on their friends for support, instead.

“This may be one possible factor that drives them to spend more time with their peer group,” Dr. Conaco said. “We all look for that love and affection. In a sense, we also call this some positive regard for ourselves. So, when teenagers do not find this at home, they tend to look for this elsewhere.”

According to Dr. Conaco, parents play a large role in their children’s emotional and social development. To protect their teenagers from unhealthy peer pressure, here is what Dr. Conaco recommends to parents:

Establish a comfortable atmosphere

Parents should provide “a warm, loving, and receptive environment where adolescents are free to ask them things, and to explore the world with them without being intimidated.” This way, a more open relationship is created.

 Don’t just stick to verbal instruction.

Dr. Conaco believes in experiential learning as the best means for learning, saying “it’s all part of the game.” It’s not enough to merely present them with the rules they need to follow. Parents should allow their teens to experiment, to try certain things, and test their limits.

 Don’t push them too hard.

 Parents who are extremely controlling may drive their teens farther away from them. “There’s such a thing in social psychology, we call this phenomenon ‘reactance.’ This is when your freedoms are kind of curtailed. You do the exact opposite of what they ask you to do. Part of this is really the psychological attempt to restore freedom,” Dr. Conaco said. Hence, parents should impose discipline and set boundaries “without being overly curtailing and restrictive.”

Then again, setting aside its ill effects, Dr. Conaco stressed that peer pressure “should not be considered as a flaw or as a fault. It’s just part of how we are as individuals—we progress, we grow towards being a stable, emotionally balanced, sensible adult.” Likewise, the peer group should be seen as “a partner with the family in socializing the adolescent to what life is like as a prospective adult.”