Breaking it to people gently

How will you tell someone something that might break his or her heart?

For instance, what would you do if you were one of the following: a doctor breaking the news of a patient’s death to his relatives; a talent scout telling a star search contestant that he doesn’t have the looks for it; a Comelec member telling a politician that he lost to his opponent by one vote; a bailiff reading the judge’s decision of life imprisonment to a certain felon; a hospital attendant calling a relative of an accident’s casualty; or a woman telling a man she’s been with for years that she no longer loves him the way she did before?

Many situations, many strokes for many different folks. But really, how do you break it to them gently? The unpredictability of individuals allows us to stop and think, “How in the world am I going to say it?”

Now where does the problem lie? Is it in the way the news is delivered? In the way these people may respond to the situations? In the modulation of the voice? Confusing indeed! We could be impersonal and uncaring and break it to them bluntly. It was just a task that we have to accomplish so we can move on to the next task. But did we even try to think of the impact of our words and wonder how this news would affect the life of the receiver of this information. No! We are just an empty heart and a mouthful of words bored without decency and carefree of their reactions. At times, we don’t even say how sorry we are for the person.

Yes, this is who we are. For us, situations like these are just part of the routine that we have to go through and fulfill for the sake of finishing a task done. Nothing personal, we would say, but the point is, have we really forgotten the human in us? As normal beings, must we care for other people’s loss and pain or are we numb, cold and unfeeling.

So how do you really break it gently to people? Feel their loss? Savor their pain? Hug them? Reassure them? The list can go on forever. We can’t alter things that had happened. Ergo, we can’t stop their being hurt, feeling of loss, and their pain. Somehow we just have to soften the blow and make them realize that life still goes on.