Girl Code Glossary

Searching for the perfect phrase to describe your out-of-control dilemma? This list of lingo will give you the right term for every romantic sitch. Even though most chick cliques have their own vernacular - those super secret words that are jibberish to guys - we decided to offer up a universal arsenal of words and wisdom to help every woman survive her time in the trolling trenches. Check out these fierce phrases and share them with your closest pals. With this awesome undercover dating dictionary, you’re bound to have a blast—and up your chances of bagging a dream boy.

THE BATTLEFIELD

When you’re on the prowl for the perfect man, it can feel like war—especially on the bar front. Going home with a guy’s digits (and your dignity) can be a daunting task—one you shouldn’t risk alone—so grab your girlfriends and get out there! (But not before arming yourself with a clear understanding of these terms.)

Wingman. The first things to keep in mind when heading out to the frontlines is never ever leave your wingman (unless you hook up with a hottie). Your wingman is the girl you plan and progress through the night with. She’ll be your eyes and ears when you’re not looking and the person who will carry you home if your ego or your liver is injured in battle. Remember: The two of you are a team out there in the trenches, and if you don’t watch out for each other, no one will.

Scooping. Like all good weekend warriors, wingmen looking for babes in bars need to do some reconnaissance. You and your wingman should play a thorough game of I-spy in shifts. But do it subtly, for that is the art of scope.

Doing laps. These are the circles wingmen make when they walk around the bar looking for their next target. And you thought the only exercise you got at bars was an 8-ounce bicep curl.

Calling him. Girl A and Girl B sit at the bar. Girl A thinks the guy in the blue sweater is cute and expresses this aloud to Girl B. Girl A has just “called him.” He is now permanently off-limits to Girl B. Even if he begins chatting with Girl B, she can’t reciprocate unless she wants to sacrifice her female friendship.

Transformers. These are the guys who seem really hot from far away. But up close, they’re kind of heinous.

PRISONER OF LOVE

You made it through the battle and spent a night at the other side’s camp, but what do you have to show for it?

War wounds. These are the slight aches, pains, and bruises that come from an exuberant encounter with the opposite sex. Your injuries should not be permanent or require hospitalization but should instead bring a smile to your face. Examples: scratches down your back, bruises on your legs, a rash on your chin from his scruff.

Ceiling fright. This is when you wake up, open your eyes, and think “Oh my God, this is not my ceiling!” (Followed by a look to the left, where you find nothing familiar. And then a look to the right, where you find him…vaguely familiar).

BUNK-MATES

You have joined forces with the other side and are an item, but how should you classify your studly soldier? Use the terms below to define the different stages of your relationship.

Siamese. When you’ve been seeing a man for more than a week but less than two months and are so attached at the hip that you spend at least five nights a week with him. You run the risk of becoming Siamese. If you’re a girl who dropped all her friends in high school every time she got a boyfriend or you haven’t had a relationship in eight months.

Dungeon love. This is when your first encounter with a new lover lasts three days straight causing the most intense fairy-tale feelings of love until you leave his house and the realization sets in that you didn’t notice the obvious deal-breakers. Reasons you do it anyway: it’s the most lustful experience of your life, and no man will ever be perfect in the real world, so live the fantasy while you can.

Booty call. This kind of rendezvous happens after one of you has already been out for the night. It starts with postmidnight phone calls that make or receive from a place with loud music. It includes brief, often unintelligible yet urgent conversation and ends with “see you in 15 minutes.” Keep in mind: although the two of you are in synch sexually, you’re only an item in the sack. Don’t go on this kind of date looking for a nice conversation.

The recycling bin. Women in the extreme stages of single life start looking for men here—the section of your address book where old boyfriends’ phone numbers lurk—and occasionally you rationalize that it’s okay to date them again. Need to recycle increases when your ex-boyfriend is extremely handsome, exceptionally well-endowed, or rich as hell.

DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED

Often the best of allies must part as enemies. If you decide he’s not The One, kick him to the curb and save yourself! Only your girlfriends can help you now.

Out of the car. When it’s almost over, but not quite, and you’re warming up to the idea of life without him, he’s “out of the car.” Things to remember: all the stuff you haven’t had time to do lately; qualities you never really liked about him. Everything happens for a reason: that seriously cute guy you’ve had your eye on but haven’t been able to do anything about until now.

On the curb. When it’s really over and he’s so far away and waving at his ass sitting’ on the curb, just keep telling yourself: you’ll never make this mistake again; every wrong guy gets you another step closer to the right one; someday he’ll be part of a very funny anecdote you’ll laugh about with your friends.

Womb mode. Occurs immediately after a breakup. Characterized by a compulsion to lie on your couch in a fetal position. Things to avoid: listening to the radio (those love songs are not about you); visiting your old hangouts; the ex himself.

Crying wolf. When you’ve broken up and gotten back together with him so often, your girlfriends refuse to hear about it anymore. You’re either going to have to get out of this relationship all by yourself or make new friends who don’t realize that this is just a game you like to play. Obvious reason to break the cycle is if your friends constantly remind you of two things: 1.If he was worth it in the first place, this cycle never would have started; 2. He’s not the only man who’s good in bed.