Boost your man’s self-esteem!
You can help change the way your man looks at the world, and the way the world looks at him. While some men show a quiet sense of comfort with who they are, not all are as confident and well-adjusted. In reality, many men exhibit varying sings of “cool” – some verging on the bombastic – but oftentimes these shroud deep personal insecurities.
A man who frequently exhibits the following behavior may be suffering from low self-esteem:
• He tunes out and misses out on opportunities;
• He entertains intense and lasting negative feelings and thoughts;
• He expects to do poorly at some tasks even before he tries it;
• He has low frustration tolerance for roadblocks or difficulties; and,
• He exhibits a passive attitude about events that are most important for him or his loved ones’ life.
• Knock out the critical voice. The source of most men’s self-esteem problems lies in the past. It may be the criticizing voice of parent, or a nagging wife. Do you, or any of his loved ones, belong to this category? If the answer is yes, you or the concerned party may be keeping your man’s self-esteem in the cellar, instead of boosting his confidence.
• Celebrate strengths and acknowledge weaknesses. Encourage your man and reinforce his lagging confidence along the way. Self-esteem needs to be nurtured and is strongest when there are frequent reminders of one’s positive traits. Focus on his unique good qualities. And remember: a person can give his personal best if he is not overwhelmed by too many tasks. Your man, like anyone else, must learn the art and science of prioritizing and delegating.
• Encourage him to do something he enjoys. If he leaves that up to you, suggest that you jog together, for instance, or take a stroll. It can be a bonding opportunity and a steady exercise, which can improve your moods through the “feel-good” brain chemicals that are released during the body workout. Exercising with others, whether it’s playing basketball or signing up for gym class, gives one’s self-image a boost because it builds interpersonal relationships. But your partner must know his limitations. As a person reaches his thirties, he may have gained weight already from acquired lifestyle habits, and work may have taken much of his time. So chances are, he does not enjoy the same activities he may have loved doing in his younger years.
• Encourage individuality and style. If his style quotient is dismally low, you may act as a fashion advisor and help him pick the key items in his wardrobe. The key is to let each day be filled with fun and energy, and you can guide him to letting it show in the clothes he wears. They don’t need to be expensive, but they must be comfortable to wear and are suited to his age, character and the day’s activity.
• Find his comfort zone. Don’t push it if your man does not even want to talk about serious stuff, including his feelings of “inadequacy.” you can help him in more ways than once, like providing emotional support and giving helpful gifts and hints. Prioritize his comfort in every way you can, from home activities to his daily wear.
• Join him in the road less traveled. Send strong verbal and non-verbal cues his way, saying that you support him when he strives to be the nicest guy, the most considerate husband or loving father, or even the greatest book. Men tend to base their self-worth on an artificial set of criteria that stresses money, personal effects or tangible accomplishments, which can be a setup for disaster. Let him know that you wholeheartedly approve that he bases his worth not on what money can buy, but on the more invaluable assets of integrity, kindness and generosity
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