Truths, both beautiful and ugly

The moment I heard my guy friends talking about The Ugly Truth in a positive light, it was immediately on my must-see list. The film stars Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl, both actors who’ve been steadily developing solid romantic lead status.

I last saw Gerard in a romantic film in P.S. I Love You, which, incidentally, also stars Jeffrey Dean Morgan who played Denny Duquette to Katherine’s Izzie Stevens in Grey’s Anatomy. (There’s their one degree of separation.)

In this latest Hollywood rom-com to hit the big screen, Abby Ritcher is a TV producer who has to include a segment called The Ugly Truth in her news program. The segment is hosted by Mike Chadway, a former salesman, who dishes out what he calls are ugly truths about men, women, and relationships. All these “truths” do not resonate with Abby’s beliefs about men and relationships and she keeps rolling her eyes at a segment she has to produce. But they have to work together and thus the friction begins.

Of course Abby hates Mike with all her being. Of course Mike engages Abby in a high stakes bet—how else can they be thrown together outside of the TV studio? Of course Abby, who seems prudish and strait-laced at the onset, surprises Mike with how candid and spontaneous and adorably goofy she can be. And of course they fall in love.

It is a love story, after all.

Nevertheless, the predictability of their romance only serves to highlight what even I believe are inescapable truths in the story—including the ones that Abby uncovers when her surprise sizzling moment with Mike fizzles into… nothing. Sounds familiar? Seriously, The Ugly Truth can have some answers for your relationship questions. And I don’t take declarations like that lightly!

The Ugly Truth is like Hitch and Down with Love combined. It will surely open your eyes to some realizations, like in what manner women are exactly as shallow as men. I’m just not sure it’ll land you a dream love story, though, because, like the two latter films, its one beautiful truth encompasses all the others: Once love hits you, all calculations are out the window.

What’s good about The Ugly Truth is that it resonates with men, because it focuses more on what men want, almost to a selfish—and I mean that in an Oprah-like “You must give unto yourself” way—degree.

But you judge for yourself. I present to you some of Mike Chadway’s ugly truths, for women:

Courtship is all about lust, seduction, and manipulation. Don’t call him, make him wait, be unavailable, make him suffer—or else you’ll seem desperate.

You need to be both the stripper and the librarian. It’s important that your skirt length has both areas covered.

You have to like yourself if you expect men to like you. If you can’t feel sexy alone, how can you with him?

You should laugh at all his jokes. Fake laughter is like a fake orgasm; men can never tell.

Don’t talk about your problems. Men don’t really want to hear about them, or they really don’t care.

All men are interested in sex and beauty. Between a romantic dinner with your own personal violinist and two bikini-clad women wrestling in Jell-o, all men would choose the latter.

Women are control freaks. And this emasculates the men, which almost makes them afraid to want you.

The last one’s a point you have to remember, because, as Abby discovers in the end, here’s the ugly truth about men:

They scare off easy. So handle them with care.