Thank you!

Now I know how it feels to be a beauty queen ( he he he).I now understand why beauty pageant winners would scream and then cry when their names are announced. Now I understand that the tears that flow in a beauty queen's face that are dramatically captured by cameras are real and not just for show. I myself had that experience last Sunday morning when I emerged winner in this year's Press Freedom Gayest search. I shed tears after SMART Communications Public Affairs Head Mon Isberto donned the sash on me. I tried to conceal those tears but the more I did the more they came out from my eyes. For the record I did not do it to catch attention, those were real, those were tears of joy.

For that, I only have the Sto. Niño to thank for as I felt so blessed with that victory. As I have said in my speech, I would be a hypocrite if I'll say I did not ask the miraculous child to let me win. I prayed hard for it but I also told him to let His will be done. I was already prepared for defeat as I was convinced that if I lose it does not mean I'm not good enough but rather because he has prepared something bigger and better for me. Yet he granted my prayer, so hopefully everything would fall in the right place the way I asked the Sto. Niño for things to be. I know that my victory has a reason and purpose - these are what I am poised to find out. For now, I say thank you so much Sr. Sto. Niño. I love you. I will always love you.

The story behind

I really did not have plans of joining because of an agreement I have with my parents. My being gay has long been accepted in the family and my parents have been very supportive of me. This is so because we had agreed I would not dress up or put on make up. Most of all, they accepted me after I promised them not to shame them and make good in my studies for my own sake. I would like to believe I have lived up to their expectations. I finished a degree and have a good job. So I was left asking, why should I do something that would hurt my parents? Truth is, I was supposed to represent The FREEMAN last year but I felt I was not ready then. So I said no by joking that if I insist I might lose my inheritance of two coconut trees.

Then June came and we needed to finalize everything for the Press Freedom week celebration. The FREEMAN, being the lead convenor, has to have a representative. Still hesitant, I recommended a friend and it was accepted. But my newsroom buddies in the leadership of Assignments Editor Quennie Bronce and reporters Joeberth Ocao and Garry Lao held a signature campaign recommending me for the contest. The signatures grew in number so fast but I pretended not to mind them at all. I must admit though that their messages were inspiring and flattering as these manifested their trust in me. But my answer was a firm no, kidding that joining might ruin my political plans. Yet the prodding persisted.

As the day of the contest neared, my good editor-in-chief Sir Jerry Tundag summoned me to his office and personally asked me to represent our paper. It took a week before I said yes. At the back of my mind there was that voice telling me I could always back out should I feel doing so. Truth was even if I was already at the UV gymnasium on contest day I was still entertaining that thought of backing out. But it dawned on me that if I won't push through I will not only lose my friends but my word of honor and credibility as well.

The FREEMAN has been very kind to me. It is here where I got the chance to realize my first goal, that of writing a column. If not for this paper you would have not been reading me now. I'm so honored and humbled at the same time that even though I am not a good writer I am given this opportunity. See, my only edge is always to write from the heart. Lately I was accepted to write entertainment pieces for our tabloid Banat news by no less than our publisher Sir Juanito Jabat. I'm so blessed. I felt it was just fitting to pay back for the privileges I am enjoying now so that was why I was there, giving my best for the love of this prestigious paper and for the pride of being a member of the Cebu media.

For my mama Sally and Papa Sol, I know they are open-minded enough to understand why I violated our agreement. My latest achievement might not make them so proud of me since it was a clear violation after I dressed up and put on make up but I am sure they are proud of me because I kept my word to the people who believed in me and for being grateful to those who have helped me come this far. After all, it did not make me immoral because it was such a prestigious contest. In fact, my good friend and Cebu's talk icon Jude Bacalso got his break for television after he became the first winner in the same search in 2003. But I do hope it was my first and last.

The people instrumental to my victory

"You were so beautiful I did not recognize you," this was the common reaction I got from colleagues and friends when they saw me. It could be true because I don't think they told me such to flatter me. Therefore I have to give honor to my make-up artist, mama Ramil Solis for that superb and classy work. I like him so much. We only met once when I was guest in Jude's "Jud morning" yet we had instant bonding and friendship. Ramil is very understanding and is intelligent; he reads the papers so you can banter with him on sensible topics. Thank you so much mah!

"Wow your gown is so beautiful it has nice fitting." Of course there should be no question why it was so nice to look at; after all, Dexter Alazas, my friend and one of the hottest designers in town who is now slowly making a name in the capital did it for me-for free. For your kindness, I know your blessings would be threefold. Thank you ateh. And there's Chicoy Tomol, manager of Models Association of Cebu who exerted effort to find a skintone high-heeled shoes for me which he eventually got from one of his models and reigning Miss Mandaue, Anna Maris Igpit. But did not wear them because I was not confident walking in five-inch high shoes but I'm so flattered for the effort.

Of course, how can I forget the generosity of Lifestyle Executive Editor Madam Mayen Tan who opened the door for me to write a column went out of her way to help in the last minute preparations last Saturday. With John, her personal driver, we stormed Dexter's boutique in Capitol area for the gown, went to pick up the high-heeled shoes from Chicoy, then she treated us to a sumptuous dinner before we proceeded to her house where I picked the sandals and stockings I wore. Madam Mayen has been very kind to me ever since that I now joke by calling her mama. Thank you very much madam. Then there is community editor and good friend Divine "cian" Sanchez Ngujo who has been my consultant on what to do in almost everything so as expected, I was closely keeping in touch with her as the contest was nearing.

And then there's Quennie who insisted that there should be a question and answer portion during the contest itself; and Opinion Editor Debbie Duraliza and my good friend Jovy Taghoy who were my buddies in attending Friday masses at the Basilica. Our copy editor Rolex Olmido should also be mentioned because he is one of the few people who sincerely believes in my capability to realize things that he even sent me a very inspiring email that boosted my confidence so much.

My heartfelt thanks should also go to my editor Nathalie Tomada for the help she has extended to me. I should not also forget our general manager Bhoy Mendoza. He is the best thing that has happened to The FREEMAN. I need not elaborate on that anymore because I know everybody, from the production department to the newsroom, would definitely agree. Thank you so much sir. My sister Hannah who understood me and accepted my decision to join. There's Ma'am Flora Mata who is always there from cellcards to purchase everytime I'm in financial difficulty. She is also my number one fan. I don't have to mention the efforts of Gary Lao anymore because he is my best friend. One of the reasons why I eventually joined the contest was him.

There are so many people to thank but I can't mention their names one by one because I would run out of space. My Freeman family and my circle of friends who accepted what I did in a very positive manner. To all of you I say, "Always live with kindness, live with care, live with faith and generous sharing, live with truth for when you do, all good things come back to you a hundred folds." Happy birthday to: Fred Languido, September 22, Jonald Raganas September 23 and Dick Batucan September 24. React@Libutine_real88@yahoo.com or text me @ 09286252596.