29 one-liner car reviews

In celebration of The Philippine STAR’s 29th anniversary, I figured I’ll give you a different sort of test drive report; one that actually takes into consideration your very busy day when you probably have less than five minutes to read through this entire piece. And so, I’ll be doing 29 different cars in one go. The catch? Well, it’s all going to be one-liners. In as much as I’d like to include every car I drove so far this year, I’d stick with the 29 which I think were the most popular. So without further ado, let’s get it on.

1.   BMW 2 Series Active Tourer. BMW’s first front-wheel drive car is surprisingly lovely to drive, but I still want seven seats to call it an MPV.

2.   BMW 4 Series Grand Coupe. Essentially what the 3 Series should be if it weren’t burdened by longstanding traditions.

3.   Chevrolet Captiva. Often forgotten, this crossover is straight from the Chevy Optra days, but thanks to small tweaks and refinements, it manages to surprise.

4.   Chevrolet Trailblazer.  In the current crop of midsized SUVs, you can’t go wrong with buying one.

5.   Ford EcoSport. A peppy small crossover with great value, but I still prefer the Fiesta on which it’s based on.

6.   Ford Escape. A rolling dinosaur no more, it’s Ford’s way to give you everything including the kitchen sink, but at the expense of tech overload.

7.   Honda Brio. Three people good, four people not so good.

8.   Honda HR-V. It’s based off the Jazz platform and powered by the Civic’s engine, but it’s more than the sum of its parts.

9.   Honda Mobilio. Having a family car finally doesn’t mean being relegated to the penalty box.

10. Hyundai Sonata. Not as pretty as the previous one, but leagues better in performance and comfort.

11. Isuzu D-Max. Its tagline sums it up best, “it’s all you need” (as opposed to “it’s all you want”).

12. Lexus IS 350 F Sport. I still can’t believe Lexus brought out a BMW 3 Series to its launch and shamed it.

13. Mazda3. If you have no intentions of having a family, the best daily driver around.

14. Mazda6. Wagon, silver, cash—where do I sign the dotted line?

15. Mazda MX-5. The force is still strong with this one.

16. Mitsubishi Strada. I’m liking it save for the toothy grille.

17. Nissan NP300 Navara. The new standard of pickup trucks.

18. Peugeot 208 GTi. Sex on wheels.

19. Peugeot RCZ. A work of art you can both appreciate and drive.

20. Porsche GT3. Never underestimate this ferocious track weapon, especially at Turn 6 of the Sepang International Circuit.

21. Subaru Legacy. The Hyundai Sonata’s long lost brother except this one’s got all-wheel drive.

22. Subaru Outback. It gives a different take to the midsized crossover genre that turns out to be the best one yet.

23.  Subaru WRX. Turbocharged motor, four-wheel drive, and four doors: it’s the sports car your wife will likely allow you to have.

24. Suzuki Swift. The best-kept automotive secret.

25. Toyota 86. A high-precision corner carver that’s logical but slightly unemotional like Star Trek’s Spock.

26. Toyota Camry. No one will question you.

27. Toyota FJ Cruiser. Somehow it’s all wrong yet all right at the same time.

28. Toyota Vios. Your neighbor and your neighbor’s neighbor drives one—that’s good enough for you.

29. Volkswagen Golf GTI. This is the sort of car that’ll save Volkswagen Philippines; now can I have that Scirocco too?

I’ve tried my best to encapsulate each vehicle in a sentence, but as some (if not all) of you might argue, that kind of word space may not be enough to really tell the whole story. And I believe you. If this has caught your attention, well, feel free to catch this space every week. You won’t get a franker (and longish) review anywhere else.

If you have any automotive-related questions or would like to see what I’m up to, drop me a line on Twitter or Instagram: @carguideph.