Fantasy Drives

As a motoring writer it’s my job to test cars on a regular basis and tell readers what I think about it. For the most part it’s an enjoyable task — especially if you love cars anyway — and I’ve been lucky to have driven more than a few fantastic machines that I could never afford in this lifetime. I’ve played race car driver in the Honda City Media Challenge several years ago, driven the Lamborghini Aventador, nearly hit 300 km/h on the autobahn in a Porsche Panamera… I’ve even sweated buckets in an Isuzu Trooper trying to get the max out of its fuel efficiency. I distinctly remember taking out the air filter in a side alley, and pushing the thing the last 200 meters to the fuel station “finish line.” I have a feeling there are a lot more good test drives to come in the near future, what with the rapid advancements in automotive technology these days.

But there are some vehicles that I may never get to try out unless a distinct realignment of the stars happens in my favor. These are the machines I have only seen on TV or read about in other more fortunate (and foreign) publications. For now, I will have to content myself with imagining what it might feel to get behind the wheel of..

The TIV Interceptor 2: I was about to change the channel after five minutes of Discovery Channel’s “Storm Chasers” when they briefly showed this car. “What the heck is that??” may well be anybody’s first reaction on seeing the Interceptor 2. Designed to literally drive into the heart of a tornado, the “Tornado Interceptor Vehicle 2” or “TIV 2” is a Dodge Ram 3500 with the body of the battleship Yamato. Its 6.7-liter Cummins turbodiesel uses propane and water injection to produce 625 horsepower, and it needs all of that because it weighs 14,300 pounds. It’s protected by 1/8-inch steel plates, 1.63-inch bullet resistant polycarbonate sheets and tempered glass. An IMAX filming turret is attached to the roof. Hydraulic, steel skirts and anchoring spikes help it from getting blown away. Mythbusters proved it works by parking it behind a Boeing 747 with engines blowing at takeoff thrust, and the TIV 2 didn’t move an inch. After all, who wouldn’t want to see what the inside of a tornado looks like?

Christopher Nolan’s Batmobile: Actually, it’s never directly referenced as the “Batmobile” in either Dark Knight or Batman Begins. It’s actually called the “Tumbler,” said to be a prototype military bridging vehicle. In this day and age of CGI, it’s heartening to know that the modern Batmobile is a real, working vehicle, albeit with a few cinematic cheats. It actually goes pretty fast thanks to a 5.7-liter, 500 horsepower V8, but the jet engine exhaust is actually just an oversized propane burner. (The 1960’s TV series and Tim Burton’s original Batmobile had a real jet engine, though). Yes, it has the cool stuff like the machine guns and caltrops, but few actually appreciate its hybrid technology: in “stealth mode” the Tumbler shuts down the V8 and shifts to electric power.

M1A1 Abrams Main Battle Tank: It’s heavily armored, can reach speeds of up to 100 km/h, and it can hit targets up to two miles away. What’s not to like? A few of these patrolling EDSA will forever solve the problem of recalcitrant PUV drivers.

Any of the James Bond cars: Any self-respecting James Bond film must have a car with a few gadgets thrown in. One of the best ever editions was the Aston Martin DB5 in Goldfinger with the pop-out machine guns and revolving license plates; perfect for number coding days!

Lamborghini Countach: The original bad boy. A poster of this car was on my bedroom wall during my youth, and lucky are the stewards of this classic which would forever define what a supercar should be. One can only imagine how it must be like to drive a car with a V12 wailing behind your head, unassisted steering, bunker-slit windows, and a heavy duty clutch with a gated manual shifter. Driving it had to hurt so good.