Luxury for the (hard) working class

MANILA, Philippines - At 33 years old, I should not be overly excited about cars that are “soft” and “luxurious” at the expense of being “fun to drive”. Yet after spending several days with Nissan’s updated midsize sedan, I can’t help but pine for the comforts of its leather-lined cabin.

Perhaps it would help if I explain what I do for a living. I have two “jobs”: writing about cars for this newspaper and C! Magazine, and running a 7-day-a-week multisport coaching business. It calls for early wakeups and late nights, patiently handing out advice and 1-on-1 time with dozens of people, and finding the time to churn out articles like this one on time… all the time.

So it’s a pretty hard life, and not one without risks as that “1-on-1” time might involve riding 100 kilometers on my bike with a client training for his debut Ironman. You have to love this sort of thing, else you wouldn’t do it. And I do… but I still get tired. At the end of a long day (and night), I just want to relax and head home to my family.

And this is probably why mine is the sort of life that Nissan had the Teana in mind. No, not the capacity to carry all the equipment of an athlete, but the ability to coddle, comfort, and practically lull to sleep the person who has to deal with a lot of stress on a daily basis. Like high-powered executives, for example, who must make the hard decisions that make or break companies. Or entrepreneurs who understand that to survive and flourish means to always keep moving, or else get left behind by the competition. At the end of the day, they just want a car that’s as comfortable – if not more – than that bespoke couch in their private den. A car that can handle several suitcases for weekend sojourns to their beach villa. One that will hold their golf bags and their buddies’ for those early morning games. Or, yes, perfectly conceal that custom made, five hundred thousand peso road bike in the trunk (with just a little creative packing) on the way to a training session with yours truly.

Lo and behold, the Nissan Teana might be just what the shrink ordered. It has arguably best seats in its class: two amply sized and cushioned, power-adjustable seats in front, and a wide, plush backseat, all of which are wrapped in soft, expensive leather . You can fit four adults and they will feel like kings. Place one more on the center and they’ll downgrade a notch to courtiers.

The front seats are bestowed with heaters and ventilation fans to heat and/or cool your exhausted butt after a long day cracking the whip at the office. The passenger seat even has a motorized ottoman; for once making the shotgun seat just as desirable as the back. Complementing all these is deep (shag?) carpeting that’s about as thick as a polar bear’s but more politically correct. If you regularly plod in dirty environments, your chauffeur/bodyguard will have to pack a dustbuster along with his sidearm.

There are other enticements. The panoramic moonroof is a boon to those who like to let the sunlight in, and the UV-protected tint makes it bearable on all but the hottest days. A motorized rear sunshade provides further sun protection and privacy.

The trunk is positively huge, easily swallowing several golf bags or – for those in dirty businesses or politics – human bodies. Really, I tried it and understood why Hollywood Mafiosi favor Cadillacs and Buicks for stuffing corpses before dumping them in the Hudson River. You can really get comfortable in there before you meet your untimely demise.

Kidding aside, the space and comfort afforded by the Teana are its aces. Nissan eschewed all manner of “sportiness” in the Teana, opting for crème-and-caramel hues for the cabin, faux wood nicely done so that it doesn’t scream “fake”, precise detailing of the stitches and seams, and a large, mildly imposing dashboard design that would perfectly look alright in a yacht.

Is it “fun to drive”? If your tastes lean towards razor sharp steering and taut suspensions then the Teana is not for you. The steering is light on-center and knows how to keep a straight line, but the suspension is given towards leaning in turns if you take them took quickly. On long stretches of open road the car accelerates effortlessly what with 252 horsepower from that syrupy smooth 3.5-liter V6. The Continuously Variable Transmission (CVT) does an excellent job of reining in all that power.

With the inherent smoothness of a CVT system, power just flows smoothly to the ground with no jarring shift shock or lag. A manual override lets you control 6 preset ratios, but you’ll only ever use them on mountain roads. At high speeds, wind and tire noise is so muted the only indicator you may have been going too fast is if you get flagged at the tollbooth for overspeeding.

So, it can run with the big boys, but it won’t enjoy the dance if you push it. Instead, it’s all about soaking in the luxury of all that leather and space and refinement. At just a hair below two million big ones (P1.99M, to be exact), it sits in the company of the Honda Accord, Toyota Camry, Hyundai Sonata, and Mazda6. Of all these, the Nissan presents the most interesting contrast to the usual formula for a midsize sedan. It’s not “fun to drive” in the traditional sense, but most definitely a treat to ride in for the buyer who wants to end his long days on a pleasurable note.

The good

• Ultra comfortable seats.

• Dignified style.

• Copious power.

• A cabin that spoils everyone.

The bad

• Handles like a yacht.

• High maintenance interior will keep your chauffeur very busy.

The verdict

• Low key, luxury car comfort for the discerning buyer.