It's so stupid, it just might work

It’s easy to romanticize the past when contrasted with the seemingly hopeless present.

When my mom Thelma first learned to drive, women behind the wheel were a curiosity. People would do a double-take at the sight of her deftly maneuvering a light-blue Gemini through the streets. A much smaller version of me sat contentedly in the front passenger seat, occasionally wondering why in heck were people looking at my Mama funny – until that Mini Me noticed there weren’t very many lady drivers.

Hardly qualifies as days-of-yore fare, but there were simply a lot less cars and a lot less people back then. It was hardly ideal, of course, but it was infinitely less stressful, if you ask my “driver”.

Sometime ago, Mama suddenly decided to hang up her, well, drivers license. It started with her saying “I don’t want to drive at night anymore. I can’t see too good.” Later, the complaints progressively escalated – and not without cause. She had some close calls and not-so-close ones. There was one time our car was rear-ended by a bus (as it was stopped at a traffic light, no less). Mama, fuming as heck, alighted from the car and stomped to the offending bus to tell the driver off. Perhaps because of that incident, she started to view buses as nefarious, Marilyn Manson-type characters of the road. They were plain evil, or as a TV program long ago described so aptly: BUS-TOS.

Back to our story. One day, Mama just let me do ALL the driving – motioning me to get the key and drive. Driving is just way too stressful now, she declared.

But even with me at the wheel, my mom still gets stressed (not my fault, of course). She’d keep a wary eye out for those accursed buses, and ask me to keep the car way to the left – as far as possible from the dreaded yellow lane. The traffic, of course, has gotten worse as well – an unsavory prospect for anyone who wants to drive.

I’m sure she’s not alone. Few will argue the point that sheer traffic volume, coupled with an utter lack of discipline (not to mention courtesy) has all but rendered our main thoroughfares a zoo – inhospitable but for hapless glue sniffers (check out EDSA-Cubao) and hardworking newspaper/cigarette/peanut vendors.

There have been so many schemes and well-meaning suggestions put out there to help ease the vehicle congestion and lower blood pressure readings of motorists and commuters, but we need a significant, more permanent fix – not a Band Aid.

“It’s so stupid, it just might work!” exclaims the classic protagonist in God-knows-how-many movies, considering some otherwise hare-brained plan. The Hollywood script, of course, will make our hero win the day.

However, the problem with real-life democracy is that sometimes (make that all the time) you can’t seem to do anything without stepping on another one’s foot, or hurting his feelings. Not to make light of the situation, but we need decisiveness to solve our traffic woes. As it stands, there is a laughable set of exemptions and whatnots to an already flawed system. Yes, there is a window in Unified Vehicular Volume Reduction Program – BUT not in certain cities. Yes, there is the UVVRP – BUT there are so many nebulous exemptions. Yes, there are traffic enforcers – BUT not all of them are on the same page.

You can chalk this up to wishful thinking perhaps, but I believe we are all entitled to see something live up to what it’s envisioned to be, right? We want what the government advertises and promises, not to read the copouts in fine print.

Here’s a couple of “it’s so stupid, it just might work” thoughts that geniuses should mull over. The key to decongesting the streets is so supremely simple, and we know it: improve public transportation. It should be the mantra of the new dispensation. Then Thelma would probably want to drive again.

Institute bus-free Mondays. Yes, you heard me right. There should be bus-free days in order to at least study its impact on the commuting public and traffic. A recipe for pandemonium? Not if on those bus-free days, we open said routes to jeepneys (already clogged jeepney “lines” can be diverted to these routes, so you hit two birds with one stone) and FXs (so now we commuters have a choice). There are simply too many buses on the roads, and a lot of them ply routes with but a handful of passengers – particularly before and after the morning and evening rush. This measure will naturally kill off the unprofitable bus lines and reduce their bloated total – not to mention ease carbon emissions. If we see that works, then we can add more bus-free days in the week. The caveat is that jeepneys which will take their place must be manned by conscientious drivers.

Add more MRT trains – spacious ones. Yes, it’s stupid because it’s obvious. People love using the MRT because it’s fast, cheap, and comfortable – if you love the experience of getting up close to another person’s armpit, that is. Add more trains – bigger ones as in Hong Kong. The rail system there and in countries like Singapore and the US work because of that. You can’t expect small, flimsy-looking carriages that we presently have to carry an inordinate number of people without breaking down. Do that and THEN charge more. Don’t charge more when you’re running an air-conditioned cattle conveyor.

Reduce number of tricycles. Just like buses, tricycles are a hazard to life and limb especially when their riders are rushing to squeeze in more trips. They’re like pesky flies that swarm at intersections – often taking up the opposite lane. Why? There’s just too many of them. The stiff competition is a recipe for chaos. One motoring writer opined on Facebook that he’d love to get a tank and, well, you know. Subtracting from the army of tricycles should have a calming effect. How to reduce? Start off by NOT accepting any more applications. Yes, we need the gumption to do these things as in real life.

Here are a couple of your questions and comments from last week’s section…

I would just like to query about LTO plans for two-stroke motorcycles, especially those being used for tricycles. Will they phase them out or ban their registrations altogether? Thank you very much. – kulitus (Last we checked, they were being phased out. But you know how it is with every change in administration. Give us this week to reconfirm that…)

This on Butch Gamboa’s MVP says “Thank you”…

 “Better roads mean faster delivery of goods and services, which could mean a better economy for the country that’s beneficial to every one.” I definitely agree with this. How I wish the government would try Singapore’s “ERP” system in our congested roads. They can start with EDSA and Quezon Ave. By charging toll fees during peak hours, we can decongest these roads; the money earned can be spent for improving the said roads since their condition is really very bad. – ice15 (Nice, sound suggestion there… Wait 15 seconds… You’ll be labeled as anti-poor.)

This regarding the lead story on the Toyota Alphard…

Still a torsion beam axle at the back? The suspension system of the Mitsubishi Grandis is better at the back… for half the price too! – tangential