Dude, where's my car?

For most people, cars are an indispensable part of the family; it takes the kids to school, mom and dad to work or play and just basically threads everyone’s lives together quite seamlessly. For some, it is far more than that; it is the extension of their personalities, or the automotive expression of their very soul, if you will. It’s their bedroom, lounge room, bar, music room, confession booth, private sanctuary and everything else in between. Man’s real best friend. Either way, wouldn’t it be great if your car could talk? Oh the stuff it could say...

Now it can.

A few years ago, I tried out a fabulous little SMS based GPS gadget that could keep a track of your car and text you updates as often and as detailed as you liked. It was a fantastic little party trick that would always leave my friends attaching a curse word before every adjective, but little did I know that it would end up to be the star witness in the case of Deakin vs. big automotive Goliath.

Only the hard core readers will remember this story, but for the benefit of our new readers, I will relive the tale for you. It happened around 4 years ago or so. I was having my car serviced at a popular repair chain that I frequented more often than I really cared to. I entrusted it over to the service manager and asked him to fix a couple of things they didn’t the last time it was there, as well as give it an oil change and whatever else it needed. I told him I didn’t need the car for a couple of days as I was going to be away for the weekend, so he could take his time. He took it literally.

The following morning, I noticed I had around ten unread messages on my phone. I scanned them in the order they were received, stopping briefly in between each one to yell out something more offensive than Willie Revillame’s comments during President Cory’s televised funeral procession, and although I don’t remember the exact wording of the messages, it went a little something like this:

Your car has left the designated perimeter and is traveling SW on Zapote road. Followed by: Your car is now heading south on the South Luzon Expressway, traveling at 63km/h.

No big deal, I thought, it must be a simple test drive. That was until the next few messages, which I’ll skip straight to just to save space.

Your car is now on the STAR tollway traveling at 162km/h. Your car is now at Malvar, Batangas.

By this stage, had I not learned how to breath in Lamaze classes, I would have had dinuguan flowing through my veins. But it was the last message that really snapped my fanbelt...

Sir, can you pick up your car on Wednesday instead. There’s been a slight accident. Your car was bumped.

Believe it or not, this guy had the gall to claim that the car was hit by a Revo in their parking lot. And, out of the goodness of his heart, he was having it repaired for me free of charge. All I said was: “Sure. But can you explain why someone was driving to Batangas at 162km/h on the STAR tollway? You live in Batangas, don’t you?” You have never heard silence so deep that you could actually hear a man’s sweat breaking through the pores on his forehead.

To add insult to injury, I had the tracking device installed at his shop that same weekend. Apparently, he even helped by lending tools. Needless to say as soon as I confronted the owner of the shop with the evidence, it was check mate. Forgive me if I don’t name the shop, its just that I find it unfair to hold an entire chain responsible for one employee’s actions. Besides, the owners acted swiftly and fairly – plus it strays away from the point of this story.

Knowledge is power. We all know that. But it is also peace of mind. Recently, I was offered a test of the latest evolution of the exact same tracking device that I used in that famous car. It’s marketed by a company called Tramigo, which also developed the software. Basically, it still uses the GSM network to communicate its location via SMS to your mobile phone or PC, but unlike the old system, it is far more accurately mapped. Plus it allows you to customize up to 500 personalized landmarks and comes with a whole bunch of other really cool commands that is integrated into a far more convenient menu based application that can be downloaded into just about any modern cellphone.

Aside from the convenience of being able to text your car and get its exact location, the Tramigo tracking unit can also be used to manage fleets and mischievous teenagers.

Take this scenario. Your kid wants to borrow the car. He/she says they’re just going down to the mall to hang out with some friends, which is 4 kilometers down the road. You know as sure as you gave birth to him/her when there’s that look in their eye that tells you that a large chunk of the truth missing from the story. Well, instead of slipping into the stereotype nagging parent and ending up drowning in the guilt of overactive teenage hormones, you toss over the keys, text your car and set a perimeter of say 6 kilometers. As soon as the car breaks the perimeter, it will text you.

You can also set a speed limit on the car. Anytime the car breaks that speed limit, you get an SMS. This works well for family drivers with lead feet and teenagers who played too much Gran Turismo on the Playstation. You can also control the ignition, attach a microphone so that you can hear what’s going on in the car and have it set to alert you if the car moves from wherever you parked it. There’s even a simple command that allows you to get status reports periodically – which is handy if you’re tracking a loved one going on a long trip.

The list is almost endless. And so is the potential. Considerate husbands can set it to text home when they are 1 kilometer away; cheating husbands can do the same when they lend the car to their wives. For those with security concerns, you can track the car in case it gets stolen, plus there’s an SOS button that you can have placed at a discreet location that immediately texts up to 10 pre prescribed cell phone numbers that there’s an emergency once its pressed.

And the best part of it all is, unlike some services that were offered to me before, there’s no subscription fees, no humans to interact with, and no chance of being left high and dry if the company goes belly up. All it costs is the initial P22,000-P24,000 for the unit and one peso per text. The only time it will stop working is if all the GSM networks go bust and all the satellites fall out of the sky.

I’ve been told that Honda Cars in Bonifacio High Street Area is one of the authorized dealers, and I’m sure they could refer you to someone closer to your area if that’s not convenient. 22-24K may sound like a bit to spend, but then again, how much was your last cellphone? When you consider the investment it is protecting, and I’m not talking about the car here, it almost makes me feel dirty to try and put a price on it.

EDITOR’S NOTE: To see a video of how this device works, type in “jdeakin72” into Youtube.com.

Last week’s If the Schu fits by Manny de los Reyes was pre-empted by the sudden pull-out of Michael Schumacher from the season due to a previous neck injury. As such, the article seemed dated because we actually printed before the news came out. Still, we received some interesting reactions. Here are some of them…

Oops! The “comeback” is scraped! Michael won’t be back because of a neck injury. Too excited? Hold your horses...   – Phipp0

The “call-off” was on the news yesterday afternoon, a day or two after this (article) was due for printing. Haha! I’m more excited to see new articles on this section, but we only have two for this week. Oh well.... – KERSMcPherson (We apologize for that, dear reader – and for having to do it again this week. The number of pages of the section is determined by the number of ads that support it in a week. Unfortunately, we have the same dilemma again this week. Hope they’re substantial nonetheless…)

This is very unfortunate for Ferrari, since Schumi pulled out. He will be replaced by team’s test driver Luca Badoer, who doesn’t have much racing experience. It’s up to Kimi to raise points for the team.   – ryu_33

I was one of the excited to watch Schumi race again, unfortunately it won’t happen this 23rd. Although he is 40, I’m still looking forward to see him race with the young ones. Anyway, I just hope Kimi steps up and Jenson and Brawn GP return to their winning form. – spider518

We have a new service provider for your text comments. To register, text philstar <space> name, gender, birthdate, address and send to 2256 (all networks). Once registered, you can post your text comments to Backseat Driver by texting philstar <space> motoring <space> your message, and send to 2256 (all networks). Of course, you may still log on to www.philstar.com and blog your comments.