Supersized satisfaction

MANILA, Philippines – As if the previous Expeditions weren’t big enough to have their own population census survey stickers on them, along comes the stretch version that is almost big enough to have its own garden and porch. I mean, seriously, it’s hard to look at it for the first time without making some kind of silly comment about its size. Much in the same way as when you go to a Chilis restaurant and see your food arrive on plates bigger than the serving trays they come in.

At first you all make that face like “I can’t finish that!” and make the painfully transparent disclaimer: “Someone has to help me…” But if it came any smaller, there’d be hell to pay at the end. Because no matter what people say, and no matter how many times they say it, in just about every case, the only thing left is the token French fry and a lemon wedge. Because people generally love ostentation.

And, when it comes to cars, its even more serious. Generally, if you can afford it, bigger is always better. And trust me, they don’t come any bigger than this. At least not over here in these islands. Introducing the new 2009 Ford Expedition Eddie Bauer EL – an SUV so damn big, even its name is long.

Weighing in at a titanic 6,000 pounds, the Expedition EL is the undisputed heavy weight of SUVs over here. This does have its drawbacks, of course, like gravity, but as soon as you take it on your first out of town jaunt just like I did last month, you’ll be thanking the good ‘ole US of A and their disturbing love of supersizing everything.

I was able to load up 5 adults, 3 kids, a black Labrador, luggage, food and toys for everyone for a four-day weekend, and still have space to spare. The extra 14.8 inches in overall length translates to 24 cubic feet of cargo space and does marvels for swallowing up all that extra gear. You think it’s overkill until you need to get in a couple of full size coolers and enough beer to keep four grown men entertained for four nights without cable TV or internet. Then you feel it is as valuable as a steering wheel and should be passed as law for all SUVs.

But space on its own is nothing special. An Isuzu Elf could handle all that. Where the Expedition really shines is the amazing comfort and security you feel when you travel. It absorbs the atrocities of our roads beautifully and has lost a lot of that floating feeling that used to be quite common with previous models. Even running on over inflated tires that were accidentally left on showroom pressure of 50psi, the Expedition sailed through the imperfections and remained less vocal about it than it would have a couple of years ago. When I dropped them down to 35, it was like I injected anesthesia into the car.

With a pretty potent 300hp on tap and a very intelligent six speed automatic gearbox, the Exped climbed the mountainous roads of Tagaytay quite effortlessly, but still requires a bit more forward planning when executing overtaking moves – especially with trucks and busses. It has more than enough juice to pull its own weight, but I would leave the stoplight drag races to the European SUVs. Besides, doing so would probably only end up getting a hole in the ozone layer named after you – unless of course you fill up on E85, which is available only in selected SEAOIL stations.

With three valves per cylinder, variable cam timing and 365 pound-feet of torque, the 5.4-liter engine is powerful enough to keep up with Joneses and can tow up to 9,200 pounds, making it the best tow rating in its class.

Inside, the cabin is generously fitted out with Ford’s award-winning SYNC connectivity technology. It also features top-of-the-line luxury standard equipment, including a reverse-gear camera, SOS post crash alert, Easy Fuel capless fuel system, and rain-sensing wipers, although strangely, it does without a DVD system and/or moonroof.

The introduction of Ford SYNC, developed in partnership with Microsoft, is a fantastic voice-activated, customizable multimedia system that fully integrates Bluetooth-enabled mobile phones and digital media players, but by its own sheer brilliance, draws even more attention the lack of a visual entertainment package similar to the one found in the more modestly priced Explorer.

Other new standard features include an anti-theft perimeter alarm system. Standard rain-sensing wipers use an advanced optical sensing system to detect how hard rain is falling and consequently, determine when to activate windshield wipers and their speed.

There’s also a Powerfold third-row seat that can be folded flat for cargo space by the simple touch of a button. The second row features one-lever action 40/20/40-split seats that also folds flat, providing either extra cargo room or easier access to the third row seats. And if a front-seat passenger needs to reach back to the second row, a sliding center section can be moved forward up to 11 inches, providing easy access to the second row.

The Expedition was the first full-size SUV to earn five-star front safety NCAP ratings for the driver and passenger from the North America’s National Highway Traffic Safety Administration – a record it has held for nine straight years, making it undisputedly the best in its class.

Aside from the RSC (Roll Stability Control) fitted as standard, The 2009 Expedition’s new safety feature is the standard SOS post-crash alert system, where the horn and emergency flashers are activated in an airbag deployment event. Other safety features include Safety Canopy side-curtain air bags, rollover detection system and dual-stage front airbags that deploy with varying power based on crash severity, the driver’s seat position and safety-belt usage. Seat-mounted front side airbags provide extra protection in the event of a side impact.

The safety, the comfort and the power of the Expedition has never been disputed. What you are all interested in, if you have made it down this far that is, just how much gas does it use? Well, let’s scratch the city cycle test out of the equation because firstly, I didn’t get enough city driving done, and secondly, you wouldn’t take a whole cow with you just to have a glass of milk handy right?

In a nutshell, after about 250 kilometers or so from Manila to Batangas and back, with vehicle stuffed as tight as a Balikbayan box, I got 6.5 kilometers to the liter. It’s not going to get any Christmas cards from Greenpeace, but hey, if you consider that you would need at least two full size vehicles to do what I did, that works out to 13 kilometers per liter.

Basically, this is not the kind of car you would want to do your day to day running around in. That is where you get the biggest hit. If you could afford to, this makes the perfect out of town family vehicle. Save the-one-person-to-the-office-run for cars or smaller vehicles. This vehicle is purpose built, and nobody serves its purpose as well as Ford does.