Cars vampires love

Blame it on the phenomenal success of the four bestselling novels. Blame it on the relentless media hype that has accompanied the recent release of the film based on the first book. Blame it on my two “tween”-age girls who dragged me to watch said movie – not once, but twice.

Heck, blame it on Tyra Banks, who just a few days ago gave away a sparkling new Volvo (a silver C30, of course) to a screaming teenage girl who correctly guessed the combined weights of the movie’s two male lead heartthrobs, who incidentally were standing on either side of her (as if that wasn’t a prize enough).

I’m talking, of course, about Twilight. And if you’ve been hiding inside a coffin for the past half-decade, Twilight is the best-selling novel, the blockbuster movie, and the hot, new cultural icon that is permeating every segment of society in every corner of the globe.

Enough to make it even to a motoring column of a broadsheet. Okay, I admit to having finished reading all four books – as much so I can tell the story to my little girls as I honestly found them a compelling read.

But I’m not being defensive when I say I loved the books and I loved the movie. And it’s not necessarily because of the strong sexual chemistry between the leading protagonists (all three of them). It’s not the page-turning fight scenes that get even more thrilling with each book. It’s not even because of the intriguing insight the books afford into the fascinating world of vampire lore – and that of other supernatural beings. (I’m trying so hard not to give away the plot here.)

I dig the books because of the cool, superfast cars that the vampires drive in the books. In Twilight, the star was Edward Cullen’s silver Volvo C30. No mention in the book (or the movie) was made of the variant, but with the Cullens’ penchant for fast cars, it’s safe to assume that Edward would go for the C30 T5 turbo version developing 216 hp – plenty stout for a 17-year-old, vampire or otherwise.

Until Bella came along, he was the only vampire in the Cullen family who was unattached; which explains the relatively tight confines of his choice of car.

In contrast, the gorgeous Rosalie and the vivacious Alice are seen tooling around in a drastically flashier car, a Brilliant Red (clairvoyant Alice missed the Jasper Blue version) Mercedes CLK convertible, probably with a big AMG V8 kompressor under the hood – and always with its top down. (The centuries-old Cullens have amassed enough wealth from their long stay on Earth to afford such toys.)

But lest you think that two teenage girls, even if they are fast-moving vampires, are not hot enough to drive a super-fast Benz, then you obviously haven’t read New Moon, book two of the series.

In that book, Alice stole a yellow Porsche 911 Turbo because she and Bella had to, uhm, get somewhere really, really fast. And Alice drove that awesome 450-hp ground-bound missile spectacularly well. (I can’t wait to watch that scene on the big screen!)

Then there’s the big vampire Emmett’s truck, more specifically a 4x4 Jeep outfitted with hardcore off-roading gear like 32-inch tires, roof-mounted flood lights, and winches – perfect if you’re running away from a crazed vampire tracking you like a monster bloodhound in the forest.

Last but not least is the good Dr. Cullen’s luxo-mobile, barely seen in the film but taking pole position at the start of book 4, Breaking Dawn. It’s a Mercedes-Benz S600 Guard (referred to in the book as a Mercedes Guardian), which a couple of knowledgeable motorists ogled at while Bella was filling up at a gas station in said book.

What the heck is a Mercedes-Benz S600 Guard? It’s nothing less than the most expensive sedan in the entire Mercedes line-up but fitted with a whopping 6-liter V12 engine.

As if that doesn’t make it potent enough, the “Guard” designation means that this S600 boasts B6/B7 protection level. Decoded (pardon the pun, Paramore fans) from Secret Service-speak, that means this German limo is protected from gunfire from handguns to military-grade small arms projectiles (read: rocket-propelled grenades), explosives, and even chemical gassing. Perfect if you want to make sure your accident-magnet-of-a-bride makes it to your wedding safe and sound.

In her acknowledgements at the end of the third novel, Eclipse, bestselling author Stephenie Meyer thanks her legions of fans and says that she wishes she could give each of them (make that each of us) a big hug and a Porsche 911 Turbo. Now that’s my kind of author!

So, Ms. Meyer, should you decide to give three lucky readers a Porsche 911 Turbo, please do not forget me. I will even settle for a Volvo C30; a silver Turbo, if you please. Viking Cars Philippines, the local Volvo distributor, lent me one to test for my birthday last March – and I must say that it left me thirsty for more.

Hey, my kids (and wife) have always thought of me as the world’s oldest teenager. Eat your heart out, Edward!

Here are some of your Backseat Driver reactions to the issues we raised last week…

It’s interesting to notice, when MMDA officers hail buses for an offense, it’s the conductor who goes out to talk to the officer. Obviously, it’s the conductor that has the money… – 09213136266

Let’s join hands to wake the authorities up by using our own “power license plates”. May I suggest titles like MOSSAD, POWER RANGER or 007… – 09202664571

Please feature the latest and the best underbone motorcycles today. Thanks! – HotDarkAngeL

My new job requires a professional driver’s license. I changed my Non-Pro to Pro last February. Renewed it in November, and I’m still a Non-Pro. The LTO has no Updated Records! – RV

I agree, the boundary system is the root of all that is wrong with our public transport system. It belongs to the middle ages and needs to be dispensed with if we were to have a safe and efficient public transport system similar to Hong Kong, Macau and Singapore. While the issues of fixing the most effective remuneration for the driver is complex, effort should be done to study ways to improve on or even replace the boundary system. – mulatnajuan

Speak out, be heard and keep those text messages coming in. To say your piece and become a “Backseat Driver”, text PHILSTAR<space>FB<space>MOTORING<space>YOUR MESSAGE and send to 2840 if you’re a Globe or Touch Mobile subscriber or 334 if you’re a Smart or Talk ’n Text subscriber or 2840 if you’re a Sun Cellular subscriber. Please keep your messages down to a manageable 160 characters. You may send a series of comments using the same parameters.)