Off the US election campaign trail on the Isuzu D-MAX

I’m not a voter but I couldn’t help it. The US election was to me what telenovelas are to most soap viewers and I’ve been watching CNN and FOX (alternately every commercial and FOX News Extra, intermittently with BBC and AlJazeera) more than what probably is good for me. It keeps me awake into the wee hours of the morning and wakes me up with a jolt early in the morning with the perennial cliffhanger question “What’s gonna happen next?!”

Those are my soap operas, I get my news from Leno, O’Brien, SNL, The Daily Show and Colbert…

The Isuzu D-MAXimum Exposure media event was precisely what I needed to stay away from the US campaign trail for a while though it felt to me as hard and as painful as peeling off a bumper sticker. Everything related back to the US Elections for me. Even STAR Motoring editor Dong Magsajo’s band Shift rings like Former US Governor Mike Huckabee’s Capitol Offense and his more recent FOX band Little Rockers. These are people who belong to a particular industry and without quitting their day jobs come together to play music and take a shot at making a career out of it. It’s brilliant considering the captive audience made up by their colleagues alone.

So while Sarah Palin’s grating “Obama pals around with terrrrrrorisssssttttsssss” line was still ringing in my ears, I was volunteered to be the navigator for my team. It was quite untimely for I contemplated simply going rogue and spacing out at the back seat. The challenge consisted of a fuel economy run, a torturous bike race for a team member and a quick run around a firing range. Why couldn’t it be simply identifying from a photo lineup which one is Tina Fey, the real Palin and the star of Hustler’s Nailin’ Paylin while riding on the back of the pickup going full speed offroad?

I could still hear the Republicans chanting “drill, baby, drill” as my teammate Aris Ilagan of Manila Bulletin took on the road for what would be a gruelling 252 kilometers of masterful driving. I have to say it was good to be on the road again but I felt guilty enjoying myself knowing I just missed a daily date with CNN‘s John King and his Magic Map. I still had my chance of letting my brain go to screensaver mode though for Aris would often go on great conversations anyway with our D-MAX unit as he coached, coaxed and mainly praised “our pickup, our baby for the day” logging 17.7 kilometers to a liter. Our team won the fuel efficiency leg of the competition. If the world learned to drive and save fuel in the way our Team Alpha did, there would be no need to drill baby.

It’s such a great feeling though to be back on the passenger seat of a D-MAX Boondock LE. While the designated driver sweated over the small stuff like maintaining speed and doing the math for optimum fuel efficiency, there’s nothing like zooming past the open fields of NLEX and SCTEX. Nothing beats the familiar scenes and roadside charm of the great North Luzon highways not to mention the ancient and wise trees of Panigui, Tarlac. Then there’s that totally inappropriate, bullish but rockin’ feeling of a convoy of D-MAX pickups at the hands of experienced drivers parading on the open roads.

Along the way my team and I prepared for the bonus points we could possibly score based on product knowledge. I used my phone and got online, wrote down notes and read them out loud for everybody to hear. We memorized the specs and marketing turn of phrases of the D-MAX line and we intended to stick to the talking points. We were a quick study like Sarah Palin although what we didn’t expect was that the manner of questioning leaned more towards a popular quiz show called “Distraction” and Katie Couric’s “gotcha journalism” instead of Sean Hannity’s giddy-over-Palin. We just realized the question “What’s the name of this event?” would be the hardest question in the world to answer in a bootcamp/ firing range full of barking training officers, gunfire and fake explosions.

At the end of the day after the mountain bike and airsoft challenges, everyone gathered on the terrace of Thunderbird Resort in Poro Point, La Union for a little party. With all four teams winning and the numerous raffle prizes it looked more like a bail out by Isuzu Philippines than an awarding ceremony actually. Well, socialist or not it’s always good for us “have-nots” for the “wealth to be spread around.” I came away with new Boa shoelaces and I just got a pair of old running shoes for ’em.

The next day I was immediately reunited with CNN, FOX, BBC and AlJazeera. I particularly think it is a duty for a well-balanced view to watch news on AlJazeera. Where else can one see an American-Middle Eastern commenting in an exasperated tone “What does this mean Joe Six-Pack?!!! We do not have understanding for this Joe Six-Pack?!” I would not have known what that name refers to also except that I’ve learned a long time ago that most motoring journalists are Joe Six-Packs. Those few who are not, drink brandy.

These days I have to deal with terrible withdrawal symptoms. American news would never be the same again. But it was a great story while it lasted. Fifty years ago there was still racial segregation and now the US elected its first African American President. Likewhat STAR Motoring Editor Dong Magsajo keeps as his status on YM “Black Is The New Black.” The world has looked at America with admiration again and now back to the nitty-gritty of everydays.

What’s the fundamental difference, you ask, between the Global D-MAX we know and love and its limited edition brother? It’s the same i-TEQ common-rail direct-injection turbocharged Euro-2 compliant diesel engine, the good old Flex suspension and the superior ground clearance but this time meaner, badder and with more bling what with the all-terrain tires, two-tone body, chrome kit for grille and hood, and backing up sensors.

Let’s just say it has the reliability, war hero experience of John McCain combined with a young, intelligent, super smooth, all-around nice guy but all blinged out Barack Obama. A mean, powerful, hardworking pick-up that looks awesome with a smoother ride, now that is the fundamental difference between the Global D-MAX Boondock LE and all the other pickups out there. Just because I can’t help but say it... the D-MAX Boondock Limited Edition, that’s change we need. and there’s no debating that.