The Audacity of the U-turn Slot

Okay…enough holding back. I’m rolling up my sleeves and throwing the gloves out the gutter located beside the hideous looking fence in the bright pink shade. I’ve had enough.

I’ve sat here in front of my desktop, read, edited and silently nodded in agreement as I let our esteemed columnist, veteran motoring journalist Ray Butch Gamboa, take the lead and point out the obvious. In his ever so diplomatic way, Butch has time and again stressed the audacity of the U-turn scheme currently employed by the authorities to improve traffic flow in the Metro. I have to say that I admire the man’s determination and perseverance – because despite his steadfastness, he seems to be constantly banging onto a brick wall. Nothing has been done to rectify the obviously flawed system.

So now I join him in his call to put an end to this absurd practice. Why just now, you ask? Let’s just say that I had an epiphany, a moment of clarity brought about by the method of madness that I have witnessed for far too long and just now finally understood. While driving home from Pampanga the other week, after coming off a very pleasant drive from the NLEX, I realized exactly how ridiculous this entire U-turn business is. And no, it isn’t because I was stuck in a horrendous traffic jam because of a very poorly positioned and engineered U-turn slot (which I was, by the way). It’s because I realized just how much worse-off we are with the U-turn slots – intrinsically.

Put yourself in my position. You’ve driving along a well-maintained, well-lit, well-policed freeway. Everything is as it should be. The world is in perfect order. Then you enter the city’s main artery. Suddenly the world is turned upside down. Chaos engulfs the streets. There’s weaving, cussing, cursing, horn blowing, and finger pointing all over. I imagine this was how cherubs must have felt like when they were tasked to send down messages from on high to the mere mortals on Earth back in the Biblical times.

Perched in their perfect little corners in heaven but gifted with enviable obedience to God, they had no choice but to enter into a pit where anarchy ruled supreme. It’s probably the same kind of shock that drove Lucifer into the abyss of madness.

The toughest thing to understand is not how the U-turn slots create chaos. It’s why they are there and what they force us to do that’s mind-boggling. Driving along the NLEX, you are encouraged to stay within your lane, use the right side of the road only for emergencies and the left for overtaking. You are also encouraged to stay within a safe (if a bit too boring) speed limit. But the bottom line is that it’s easy to understand why you are tasked to do such things. Here is a system that has been proven to be effective throughout the entire world. Here is a system that works…period.

Along EDSA, with the U-turn slots, you are taught to throw every single sound traffic rule you were taught in driving school out the window. In fact it’s safe to say that you are forced to learn to swerve. Because of the U-turn slots, the leftmost lane ceases to become the fast lane – else you’ll bump straight on into the flimsy, unlit barriers that make up the makeshift U-turns to begin with. But the rightmost lane is needed by the antiquated jalopies called jeepneys to execute a U-turn because of their illogically small turning radii, so you can’t use that either. So you’re forced to stay in the middle lane, which every other bloke can’t wait to get into. So you must be wary about lane invaders from both the left and right side.

Pandemonium is not a strong enough word to describe what the U-turn slots force us to subject each other to. I don’t care if the MMDA has studies that show the average vehicle speed along EDSA improving by a few stupid kilometers per hour. How in the world can anyone sacrifice proper road usage practices in the guise of improved traffic flow? It’s a classic case of rectifying a mistake with another mistake. It’s a band aid solution that only worsens the situation in the long run because we’re forced to make the wrong decisions out on the road. Imagine if we did all that in the NLEX? Imagine if we drove elsewhere in the world and started weaving like we’re forced to do along EDSA? Are we doomed to adjust our driving practices depending on the roads we use? Damn all proper road usage practices? It just doesn’t make sense!

Forgive me, dear readers, but I truly must end this rant of a column with an impassioned plea to the one man who can put an end to all of this madness – because at long last I have run out of patience. Dear MMDA Chairman, I know I am merely pointing out the obvious, but it seems no one within your circle of advisers is able to communicate the facts to you. Your “experiment” is a failure. It is a failure because it has forced the Filipino road user to become a worse road user. If your gauge of success is improved traffic flow, you might argue otherwise. But I do hope you have far more lofty goals – and far more faith that the Filipino can overcome his current state of mediocrity. If your task is to make us better, safer, more mindful road users, you’ll put a stop to this madness sooner than anyone can say “Metro Gwapo” and strike a “pogi” pose. If you want to seriously lead us, lead us at least in the right manner and with the right goals in mind. Your goal ought to make road users practice that which is right, not that which you deem would be the quickest way to solve our traffic problems.

Mister Chairman, you’d be surprised how many people would throw their support behind someone who can admit to their shortcomings. After all, real leaders, the ones worthy of leading this country, need to show us one virtue we all so anxiously hope to see in the average government bigwig – humility.

Speak out, be heard and keep those text messages coming in. To say your piece and become a “Backseat Driver”, text PHILSTAR<space>FB<space>MOTORING<space>YOUR MESSAGE and send to 2840 if you’re a Globe or Touch Mobile subscriber or 334 if you’re a Smart or Talk ’n Text subscriber or 2840 if you’re a Sun Cellular subscriber. Please keep your messages down to a manageable 160 characters. You may send a series of comments using the same parameters.)