What is FOFO?

In the past, people of an older generation had to endure tough times with limited options. They didn’t necessarily have more resilience but simply had fewer alternatives. On the other hand, when the millennials emerged, the economy was thriving. College dropouts turned into entrepreneurs, and many young individuals shunned corporate jobs to start their businesses.

The older generations often view millennials as lacking concern for their future, as reflected in their popular expression “YOLO” (You Only Live Once). Another expression used by the younger generation is “FOMO” (Fear of Missing Out). A friend sends an IG (Instagram) photo of a lasagna, and the millennial gets so stirred up wanting to go to the same restaurant to have a piece of the same and does not want to miss the opportunity.

And then things change; and things are changing again. From FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) to “JOMO” (The joy of missing out brought about by the prolonged quarantine and lockdown). Today, there is a new expression called “FOFO.” And this means the “Fear of Finding Out.”

Educator Stephen Tan wrote this article on Linkedin, and it is an excellent piece to read.

Have you ever experienced one of the following:

You’ve started working for yourself and have yet to learn how taxes will work. You know you need to figure it out, but you’re scared of what you’ll discover, so you push it off for another day.

You have an early product version and should ask for feedback on it. But you’re afraid of getting discouraged, so you don’t.

You and your spouse haven’t been talking. You need to address the elephant in the room, but you’re afraid of where it will end up.

This is called FOFO or Fear of Finding Out. It is the psychological barrier that stops people from learning more about a potential problem because they fear what they’ll discover.

Why might you experience FOFO? There are many reasons:

Maybe you’re afraid that by learning more about a problem, you won’t be able to perform the actions needed to alleviate or solve it.

You may be overwhelmed with other problems and need more time or resources to deal with this one.

Maybe you don’t want to take on the responsibility for this “thing,” believing another person should handle it.

Here are some more examples of FOFO:

Avoiding honest, deep conversation with someone important to you.

Putting off looking into legal and regulatory issues with which you may not be compliant.

Deprioritizing the update of systems or processes that are far behind industry standard.

Refusing to reanalyze or reassess a strategy that isn’t working well.

Shunning critical feedback, even though you know it will benefit you.

So, this can continue, and the question is, how do you combat FOFO? Stephen Tan says, “Emotions like fear occur almost instinctively; you can’t control how you feel in a given moment. But you can control how you react to those feelings – by focusing on your thoughts.

While you can’t prevent a negative thought from entering your mind, you can control how long you dwell on that thought. The old saying illustrates this well: “You can’t stop a bird from landing on your head, but you can keep it from building a nest.» When you experience FOFO, there are two ways to deal with it:

Option 1: You can allow the emotion, in this case, your fear, to control your thoughts.

Option 2: You can take control of your thoughts, which will, in turn, influence your emotions.

As you might have guessed, option two is the emotionally intelligent option.

You need to ask yourself:

What are the potential consequences if I continue to ignore this problem?

How might the best and worst-case scenarios play out?

Is it worth the risk to push this off further?

How will I feel about this issue in a week, a month, a year, or even a few years?

By asking questions like these, you force yourself to face your fear and take action. You become active instead of passive.

So, if you’re dealing with FOFO, remember: You have a choice. You don’t have to let your fear control you; instead, you can take control of your fear – by taking control of your thoughts. It’s not the easy way out, but it’s the path that leads to fewer regrets.”

Stephen is right.

For the younger generation, do not commit FOMU – the Fear of Messing Up. We all make mistakes, but that is how we learn and grow.

(Francis Kong’s podcast “Inspiring Excellence” is now available on Spotify, Apple, Google, or other podcast streaming platforms.)