Some thoughts on emotional intelligence

The longer I live on this planet, the more businesses I get involved with, the more new business terms I pick up requires my understanding. I thought VR or virtual reality was only for video and computer games, but now this technology is being integrated into many aspects of business practices. AR or augmented reality becomes a buzzword as this is evident today in the screens we use either for driving vehicles or for play through our smartphones. And now there is MR or mixed reality which gives credence that things will continue to evolve, which makes doing business fascinating for many and exasperating for others.

I have various clients that are in technology businesses. I have put in a little investment in a few of them. I still receive requests and invitations to do leadership training for the key players in this industry and what fascinates me is that with all the technology that is being churned all over the place, one of the most requested topics my clients want me to do is to provide Emotional Intelligence Training.

I have read books and articles that have referred to the millennials as the most emotional generation the world has ever seen. And when I point this out to my clients, they all concur. Emotional intelligence can be measured and can be learned. And if you happen to be interested in this subject matter then allow me to offer a few tips on how to improve your own EI or Emotional Intelligence.

1. EXPAND AND BROADEN OUR EMOTIONAL VOCABULARY.

You can hardly manage anything that you cannot define. We usually have a very limited arsenal of words to label and capture our feelings and the experiences we are having.

A very good example of this is that we talk about being happy, being mad but there are many kinds of happiness and there are different kinds of anger. Resentment is different from hatred. Joy is different from happiness. Perhaps the difference is the intensity but when we know the distinctions then it would facilitate the control of either raising up the energy level or calming them down.

2. STUDY THE DYNAMICS OF BODY LANGUAGE.

Professional communicators have learned to observe facial expressions, posture and other none verbal cues because they signal the way people feel. That smirk we see on the face signals disdain. Sadness is often times expressed through frowns. An open mouth shows surprise. A smile signals happiness.

Another idea here has to do with a study at Yale that says if you want to measure people’s emotions more accurately, it is better not looking at them at all. Just listen closely to the tone of their voice. The pitch, the speed the words are blurted out; these are all indicators of the different feelings that are behind the body language demonstrated and buried under the words people say.

Be conscious of the words we say and the behavior of the different parts of the body. They reveal the emotions that are building up and affords us the preparation on managing them properly.

These are but just few ideas on how to be trained in managing emotions and developing Emotional Intelligence. Calming one’s self, controlling one’s temper, being cautious with words and gestures. Laughing at a joke from a friend, hiding your sorrows in a funeral; these are all essential practices in EI.

Emotional Intellegence will be huge in the future of work. Managing our emotions is something that cannot be outsourced or delegated. SAAS (Software as a Service), APPS or Platforms cannot do the job for us. Robots may displace jobs but it will never be able to replace human. I don’t even think that you would be willing to allow robots or artificial intelligence to control your feelings?

Emotional Intelligence training should be an integral part of Leadership Training, and the skills should be developed and mastered. Showing empathy deals with emotional intelligence in the field of customer service. Leading the team and inspiring them to be better and do better involves emotional intelligence. Retaining employees, encouraging them through skillful leadership cannot happen without a good command of emotional intelligence. Dealing with difficult people and difficult bosses require a considerable amount of emotional mastery and EI would not occur automatically or accidentally, in leadership training, EI should be offered with serious intentionality.

Artificial intelligence, robotics, self-learning machines they are all in the central focus and attention in the future technologies to come, but I will always remember the famous words of Amos Tversky as he said: “My colleagues, they study artificial intelligence; me, I study natural stupidity.”

The more adept we are in the area of Emotional Intelligence, the more intelligent we would be in our career and profession, and the lack of it could indicate the opposite of intelligence for which I shall be careful and refuse to use the words I have in mind because of the need for me to practice what I teach.

(Two exciting and inspiring days of leadership training with Francis Kong is about to happen. Attend this highly acclaimed Level Up Leadership seminar-workshop on July 17-18 at Seda Hotel, BGC. For registration or inquiries contact April at +63928-559-1798 or register online at www.levelupleadership.ph)