Famous epitaphs

Here is an amusing material and fitted for the occasion.

Have you ever thought about this for a moment? What words would you like to put on your epitaph? A sobering thought isn’t it?

One thing I discovered is that, you may have purchased a life plan or a funeral plan but the epitaph is not included in the package. Someone will still have to buy the epitaph and a decision has to be made as to what you would like to have written on it.

Here are some actual funny epitaphs from real tombstones.

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia, the words go this way: Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. The Good Die Young.

In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England cemetery: Anna Wallace - The children of Israel wanted bread and the Lord sent them manna. Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, and the Devil sent him Anna. Why do I suspect that the husband carefully supplied the words?

Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast, pardon me for not rising.

Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake - Stepped on the gas, instead of the brake.

In a Silver City, Nevada cemetery: Here lays Butch, we planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw.

A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery: Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes who died Jan. 3, 1803. His comely young widow, aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and yearns to be comforted.

A lawyer’s epitaph in England: Sir John Strange - Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.

Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont: I was somebody. Who is no business of yours.

Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880’s. He’s buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona: Here lies Lester Moore, four slugs from a .44. No Les, No More.

In a Georgia cemetery the epitaph goes this way: “I told you I was sick!”

John Penny’s epitaph in Wimborne, England cemetery: Reader if cash thou art, in want of any, dig 4 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

On Margaret Daniels’ grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:

She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June. Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:

Here lies the body of our Anna

Done to death by a banana

It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low

But the skin of the thing that made her go.

More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England: Gone away Owin’ more than he could pay.

Someone in Winslow, Maine didn’t like Mr. Wood: In Memory of Beza Wood. Departed this life Nov. 2, 1837 - Aged 45 yrs. Here lies one Wood Enclosed in wood. One wood within another. The outer wood is very good.

We cannot praise the other.

On a grave from the 1880’s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees, lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there’s only the pod: Pease shelled out and went to God.

Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903 - Died 1942. Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland cemetery: Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.

But does he make house calls? Dr. Fred Roberts, Brookland, Arkansas:

Office upstairs

What about you then? What words would you like to see placed on your tombstone? I don’t think “P385,792,478.68 cents net after tax” would exactly be appealing.

Perhaps the words, he walked with Christ and he touched lives would be ideal.

So start working on it.

(Experience two inspiring days of learning leadership skills with Francis Kong in this year’s last run of Level Up Leadership on Nov. 23-24 at the EDSA Shangri-La Hotel. For further inquiries contact Inspire at +639158055910 or call April at +639285591798)