Addicts and pushers

Sometimes, we celebrate the wrong things. I plead guilty to this.

Let me explain. When someone invites me to attend a social gathering or a special function, I let out a long sigh, pull out my smart phone to check my calendar and forlornly tell that person, “My days are full.”

Their next question is this: “Francis, do you still sleep?” And here’s my answer: “I average five to six hours of sleep every night. I try to make up for it on Sunday afternoons.”

People usually gape at me whenever they see my calendar. The free spaces are almost gone as they are reserved for keynotes, conferences and trainings.

The truth is, I’m not complaining, I’m proud of it, and I know I’m not alone in this.

Technology has a big role to play in this situation. Technology enables us to do more and to do it faster. And mind you, doing more and doing it faster are expected from us nowadays.

Also, there is a constant fear of being left behind if we are not ahead of the pack. This fear makes us “irrationally exuberant” and makes us run in the direction of “undisciplined pursuit of more” as Jim Collins beautifully phrased it in his book, How The Mighty Fall.

Being perceived as “busy” gives us a sense of accomplishment and performance. When we work more we earn more. The lure of extreme consumerism becomes the justification or purpose for being.

This spirit causes addiction to the pursuit of more and makes us pushers of this addiction. We push our people to neglect their family, work 24/7, and ask them to forego family vacations in favor of “business urgencies.” The same spirit is then passed on to our children.

Put your child in the best school (preferably abroad). Do not waste time this summer. Have your child take-up Taekwondo in the morning, learn music in the afternoon and attend math class in the evening. All these laid out for a three-year-old (exaggeration intended).

This is why people burn out at a very young age. There’s an “addict and pusher” in each of us, and many are still living in denial providing endless arguments and rationalization as to why we need to do more, have more and achieve more. Perhaps, we should BE MORE. This is the most important goal of every person.

I think it’s about time we go quiet, go back and review the essentials. Being productive does not mean addiction, it means elimination of non-essential things.

Maybe, we should spend less time in Facebook and go out with real “friends.”

Maybe, we should have more hours of sleep and spend less time watching films.

Maybe, we should schedule our family vacation for the next summer NOW and make sure we won’t accept any assignments or invitations that fall on the same period.

Maybe, we should spend more alone-time with our beloved and just enjoy each other’s company.

Maybe, we should eliminate some social gatherings and spend more time in the gym exercising and being watchful of what we eat.

If we eliminate the non-essential habits in our lives, we will live better, feel better and actually do better.

Here are some quick ideas:

1. Get adequate sleep, eat the right food and properly exercise.

Consider activities that drag you late into the night as non-essentials and eliminate them. This will give you more time to hit the bed early and wake up early. Do some quick exercise routines. And don’t forget to eat the right kind and right amount of food.

2. Have a not-to-do list.

Learn to say “no” without feeling guilty. Understand that you have limited time everyday and you don’t want to spend it on activities that will not add value to your success goals.

3. Go out on a date with your spouse.

Married life is not only about living for the children’s sake. A good family relationship begins with the healthy relationship of the parents. If this is broken, children are the casualties.

Perhaps, the last time you went on a date with your spouse was before you got married?

That is not a good thing.

Rekindle your romantic relationship and stop being “practical.” Not expressing love and conveying affection to your partner in life do not make you practical.

4. Associate with people who inspire, stretch and challenge you to be better.

Stay away from unhappy chronic complainers and under-achievers.

It’s important to willingly accept corrections from friends who genuinely want to see you succeed.

5. Take care of your soul’s condition.

Jesus Christ says, “What profits a man even if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?”

If the soul’s condition is not in order, then everything breaks apart. The soul is the operating system that holds our body, our will and our being together. If neglected, the vacuum inside the heart begins to wither and it leads one to do crazy things.

One wise person said, “Do not just make a living, learn to make a life.”

And I wholeheartedly agree.

You can connect with Francis Kong through Facebook at www.facebook.com/franciskong2 or listen to his program called “Business Matters” from Monday to Friday at 8 a.m. and 6:30 p.m. in 98.7 dzFE-FM ‘The Master’s Touch’, the classical music station.