Dealing with insecurity

A young nouveau riche real estate developer splurged money wanting to reward himself. He purchased a Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow and couldn’t wait to show it off. After a meeting with the bank, he offered one of the senior officers a ride home. “Whaddaya think?” he couldn’t resist asking his passenger after a mile or two. “Pretty classy, eh? I bet you’ve never ridden in one of these before.”

“Actually, I have,” replied the senior banker graciously, “But this is the first time in the front seat.” The younger man just kept uncomfortably quiet the rest of their trip.

Have you ever met proud and boastful people? They’re all over the place, aren’t they? These people say and do anything and everything to climb up the social ladder, and they look down on other people. Do you know that people who behave this way is simply putting on arrogance and pride as a convenient disguise for insecurity?

Why do people become insecure?

I’ve met people who are insecure because they were constantly berated by their parents when they were growing up. They were told that they’ll never amount to anything, that compared to their siblings, they’re losers. These people try their best but are not appreciated enough. They don’t receive compliments from others, thus they feel that they’re not acknowledged. So with a little money, they go overboard. They boast and bully because they love the attention.

Others become insecure after going through a major setback in life, like losing a loved one, losing their job or having their business bankrupt. In other cases, some people are insecure because they feel that they’re not beautiful enough, or because they’ve been bullied in their younger years.

So how do we deal with insecurity then? Allow me to provide some practical ideas:

1. Admit that you’re insecure. Analyze and process. Why? What are the triggers? Is it fear of loss, pain, rejection, embarrassment or some other reason? We need to take the time to process this.

2. Face the fact that you’re unique. God has created you different from anybody else. I may not be as good looking as George Clooney, and you may not look as pretty as Emma Stone, but so what? They can’t do what you and I can do, and God has a plan for us that no one else in the world can have. Believe me, it’s a promise in the Bible.

3. Spot the good in others. The less you focus on yourself, the more your insecurities disappear. I read somewhere that the best way to deal with depression is to get out of the house, look for people with needs and help them. This brings the focus away from the self and brings it to others.

4. Study and learn. What are the areas that make you insecure? The fear of public speaking? The fear of making a presentation? The fear of talking to strangers? The best way to conquer this fear or insecurity is to study and learn more about it. The more you study, the better you become, and you’ll begin to conquer your fear and build more confidence.

5. Keep yourself healthy. Watch what you eat and exercise. If you’re sickly, the slightest challenge may overwhelm you.

6. Learn to laugh at yourself and to laugh with others, not at others. Understand that everyone makes mistakes. Find me someone who doesn’t, and we’ll crucify that person on a cross.

7. Most important, keep in mind that you’re worth so much that Jesus gave His life for you. So what gives you the idea that you’re inferior?

Humility is the hallmark of a confident person, so stop impressing people and start serving. Best way to deal with insecurity.

(Attend the fund raising seminar “We Will Rise!” featuring eight of the top speakers in the country. Learn, give and share as ALL proceeds will go to the typhoon victims of Yolanda. Dec. 10, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., at CCF Makati, A Venue. For further inquiries, contact Inspire at 09158055910, or call 632-6310912 for details.)