It stinks: How they waste our money!

I love it when politicians throw mud at each other. That’s how we get to know about how they otherwise conspire to waste our money. When they are chummy with each other, I tend to worry that we are being screwed without us knowing it.

Sometimes, they can surprise us with gems of truth like pearls in a pig pen.  Here’s one from Atty. Gigi Reyes, the embattled and irrevocably resigned (or so she says) Chief of Staff of Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile:

“I believe what the public really hungers for is the truth about the officials they elected and how their money is spent or wasted. The people now believe that the Senate stinks…It is sad but I so agree.”

Yes, Ms. Gigi. You got it right. You speak with authority. You got into the fray and did the taxpayers a favor. Thanks to your impertinent words about one senator, we got the reaction to confirm our worst fears about how our Senators treat our money with disrespect. I don’t know why we elect people so undeserving of our trust.

First they budget for a Senate seat they know will be vacant for the next three years with P-Noy’s election to the presidency. Then they declare the unused budget for P-Noy’s seat as savings and quickly realign all that as additional MOOE or maintenance, operating and other expenses.

The obvious question is why treat “savings” as a gift for senators and their staff? Savings must be returned to the general fund at the Treasury. If you send your kasambahay to the store to buy some patis, you expect her to return the sukli. Hindi yan keep the change.

 Of course they are treating us as fools. They expect us to believe they have more maintenance and other operating expenses to meet in the week and the half remaining of the year. Mr. Enrile himself admitted, the money was his “lambing” or in other words a “gift” as if it was his money to give.

They take us for fools a second time with their audit rules. A mere certification saying they spent the money for the intended purpose is sufficient. They want us to take their word for it.

Perhaps, in the long gone era when we had honorable statesmen in the Senate, their word of honor was enough. But as we can very well see today, the quality of our senators has gone to the dogs (no insult to dogs intended). After what we are seeing, there is no way their word on money matters can be trusted. Even if they swore to the truthfulness of their certifications, we can be sure they will still not be telling the whole truth.

So now they justify their procedures by saying it is the tradition since the time Senator Angara and Senator Drilon were Senate Presidents. That’s one questionable tradition they shouldn’t foist on us today.

Remember the Armed Forces tradition of giving the retiring Chief of Staff a “pabaon” exposed in a Senate hearing. It was denounced by some senators and presumably stopped. At least that General the senators shamed knew how to redeem his honor. Again, Ms. Gigi is right. Those senators are hypocrites.

We ought to shame our legislators into going back to a stricter way of liquidating such advances in an itemized manner with receipts registered with the BIR. If the money went to a staff member as some form of compensation or bonus, the staff must supply a proper tax account number and a report to the BIR must be made.

 Talk is supposed to be cheap but at the Senate, it is costing the taxpayer an arm and a leg. When Mr. Enrile went through the details of the Senate accounts, it was clear they are spending billions of pesos to run the Senate. For our money, we got a shameful Cyber Crime bill and plagiarized speeches.

It is time for the professional association of accountants (PICPA?) to offer to audit the Senate accounts pro bono, for love of country. I respect the reputation for integrity of the current head of the Commission on Audit but it seems COA is compromised. It has agreed to a lot of the rules they now follow in auditing the Senate. A fresh private sector view is needed.

This mud slinging episode also brought out other things that have scandalized the public. For example, that front page full color photo of the 50th birthday party of Ms. Gigi at the Makati Shangri-La is now flooding social media.

Someone who attended that party told me that the hotel’s ballroom was full and it can take a thousand people. At the minimum of P1,500 a plate (cheap by Shangri-La standards) plus drinks and entertainment, you can do the math and wonder if you made a wrong career choice or think some people are just born lucky.

I do not doubt Ms. Gigi may have accumulated enough wealth through the course of her career to afford such a celebration. But in the light of the stark social disparity in our country and millions of our people still go to sleep hungry, such a high profile expensive affair for a public official is in bad taste and totally out of place.

Given the doubts Senators themselves expressed publicly on how Senate funds are being handled, realigned freely so to speak, many citizens and taxpayers now need to be reassured. The only person I know with the credibility to reassure taxpayers is the Chief Tax Collector herself.

It shouldn’t be asking too much of Ms. Kim Henares for her to summon the billing people of Makati Shangri-La to provide information on who paid the bill. Thereafter, Ms. Henares should be able to tell us if that person paid enough income tax to afford that festivity.

Filipinos are really disgusted as this reaction posted on Facebook showed: “What has transpired in the Senate in the most recent of days only proves once and for all the quality of leadership that we have ... the sense of entitlement these Bozos have foisted as if they belonged to some untouchable stratum of aristocracy --- and how unfeeling, selfish, insensitive they are of the citizenry who pay their taxes so that they may pursue their careers as megalomaniacs and egomaniacs.”

There was a time when I defended the continued existence of the Senate. Now I am not too sure. If we had a Tolentino, a Recto (Don Claro not Ralph), a Tanada, a Pelaez, a Paterno and a Saguisag in the Senate like we used to, they may be worth the expense. But now, we can abolish it tomorrow, save billions of pesos and not miss it.

I am now supportive of a unicameral parliamentary legislature if we ever decide to do cha cha. Of course the quality of our congressmen also leaves much to be desired. But at least we won’t have another chamber that contributes nothing but hot air, causes gridlock and drains the Treasury. One chamber is more than enough.

Then again, I feel helpless because I don’t believe our electorate is ready to take our democracy more seriously than a tele-novela. Voters elect senators as if they are fans voting for Mr. and Miss Philippine Movies.

Mr. Enrile may have made a mess of himself over the past week, showed us again his true loathsome character, but come July 1, expect to see not one but two Enriles there. The two sons of Erap will also be there as will the Cayetano brother and sister, a comedian and two action stars.

Indeed, just look at the leading candidates based on the latest surveys and you realize there is no reason to hope for reform. In fact, if you know what is good for your blood pressure, you will just try to see what’s funny about it.

But it is so painful to laugh when you know the laugh’s on you… on all of us as a nation. I have to agree with Ms. Gigi: the Senate stinks.

Sex advice

Napoleon P. Hubilla sent this one.

A woman went to her doctor for advice.

She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea.

“Do you enjoy it?” the doctor asked.

“Actually, yes, I do” she said.

‘’Does it hurt you”, he asked?

“No. I rather like it!”

‘’Well, then,” the doctor continued, “there’s no reason that you shouldn’t practice anal sex, if that’s what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.”

The woman was mystified. “What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?”

“Of course”, the doctor replied. “Where do you think politicians come from?”

 Boo Chanco’s e-mail address is [email protected]. Follow him on Twitter @boochanco