What does love mean?

Some time ago, I was invited to speak at the University of Santo Tomas. I usually allow a 30-minute allowance before my talk and show up early. What completely escaped my mind that day was that UST is near Dimasalang where flowers from the North are sorted and sold on wholesale basis. It was February 14.

So we were caught in extremely heavy traffic on our way to the university. While waiting for the cars to move, I saw college guys carrying bouquets of flowers to school. In the school grounds, the pretty flowers found their way into the arms of pretty girls.

I opened that seminar by asking, “How many among you received flowers today?” The auditorium broke out in shouts, screams and laughter.

“If you didn’t receive flowers today,” I told the girls, “And you feel bad, then something’s wrong with you. You don’t get your worth from flowers on a day like this.” Then I told the guys: “And to the guys out there buying flowers and giving them to the object of your affection: Where did you get your money to buy those expensive flowers?” The roar of laughter grew even louder. Most of the students answered, “Parents!”

“So your parents work hard for a living and to send you to school, and you waste their money buying flowers just to impress girls? Losers!” The crowd broke out into even more laughter and guffaws.

But when I offered to define love to the students, the whole auditorium answered a resounding “Yes!” then became quiet as every ear was turned to me to hear the definition.

“Love is wishing the best, giving the best, serving the best and doing the best for the object of your love,” I told them. “The best kind of love is when God gave His only begotten Son so you and I in Him would live. But most of us do not know what love really means.

Many of the students were quietly taking down notes. I continued, “Most people really do not know what love means. If love is truly wishing the best, giving the best, serving the best and doing the best for the object of our love, we will not say, ‘I love my chocolate cake.’ Because you want to eat it and consume it.” There was laughter in the crowd.

Love doesn’t consume. It isn’t about the getting or the taking. The best kind of love gives.

I told the girls, “Therefore, if today, being Valentines Day, some stupid boy gives you a bouquet of flowers and tells you how much he loves you and invites you to go to bed with him, then he wants to consume you like a piece of cake. And if you give in, you’re TOAST!”

Valentine’s Day becomes the most stupid of all days in the calendar when non-witting, romance-fantasizing young people make a decision that they end up regretting for the rest of their lives.

True love waits. True love gives. And true love serves. True love does not go on taking and getting and just receiving, but true love knows how to delay gratification.

This principle applies to both students and adults.

It takes a lot of discipline to understand love and do it genuinely.

The Ilocana and I do not celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 14. Restaurants are jam-packed on that day, flowers, gifts and goodies soar to exorbitant prices. There’s really no sense in joining the crowd.

Instead, we celebrate love day every day, we go on dates when malls and restaurants are not crowded, and we buy goodies when they’re on sale. I guess this is because we want to wish the best, give the best, serve the best and do the best for each other. The formula works – we’ve got the years to prove it.

(Attend “Winning Disciplines for Success” on Feb. 24, 2012 at the SMX Convention Center. Learn best practices on business, creative, physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual disciplines from the industry’s best: Butch Jimenez, Dyan Castillejo, Jeric Soriano, Paul Soriano and Francis Kong. For further inquiries, contact Inspire Leadership Consultancy Inc. at 632-6872614 or 09178511115.)