Leaders and manipulators

One day, as 10 slaves were rowing a boat, the strain of every stroke showing on their faces, the first mate appeared on the deck. “I’ve got good news and bad news,” he said. “The good news is we can see an island, so we’re going to stop, drink rum, hunt a couple wild boars and have a feast.”

The slaves whispered in happiness, but one asked, “What’s the bad news?

“Well,” the first mate replied, “Tomorrow the captain wants to go waterskiing!”

I have met leaders from both business and religious sectors who are more manipulators than leaders. And then I have met some who truly inspire the people they lead.

There’s a thin line between leadership and manipulation. Both involve influencing others. And if you take a more objective and closer look at them, you’ll find more similarities:

1. Both leaders and manipulators show passion to make things “better”. They constantly use the word “excellence” though in very general terms.

2. Both manipulators and leaders cast visions and create plans, and use these to excite people.

3. Manipulators and leaders work into the emotions of others.

4. Both manipulators and leaders understand the leadership law of the “Buy-In, that they need to have their people believe in them first before the people can believe their vision.

5. Manipulators and leaders create and identify enemies, and rally support from their followers.

6. Manipulators and leaders are able to identify and compliment the strengths of others.

7. Manipulators and leaders reward desired behaviors and understand that their people want to matter.

8. Both manipulators and leaders help others succeed or think that they’re really succeeding. At the very least, they create an impression of their helpfulness. 

But while they share several similarities their difference is glaring. What separates the truly inspiring leaders from manipulators are authenticity, transparency and integrity, reflecting a heart that genuinely cares for the success and well-being of his or her people.

Leaders love and care; they are sharers and givers. Manipulators are cold, uncaring, selfish; they are takers and getters.

Love the value you bring to others. Love your organizational mission and vision. Leaders that love are authentic; leaders that don’t love manipulate.

While manipulators lurk in the shadows with secret agenda, leaders walk in the light. Leaders are open and honest. Manipulators isolate their people from their critics. They use fear, intimidation, slander and gossip to control their feeble-minded followers.

Leaders inspire, empower and allow their people the freedom of process and discovery, because their genuine desire is that they grow in skills and character.

Manipulators serve themselves at the expense of others.

Leaders serve to the point of sacrificing their own comfort or even treasures from time to time. Manipulators maneuver to benefit only themselves.

Leaders and manipulators – I’ve met them both. A very thin line separates the two. But while people tend to look at the outside and end up getting duped, God sees the heart. And if your relationship with Him is vibrant, He will never allow you to be fooled.

(Attend “Winning Disciplines for Success” on Feb. 24, 2012 at the SMX Convention Center. Learn best practices on business, creative, physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual disciplines from the industry’s best: Butch Jimenez, Dyan Castillejo, Jeric Soriano, Paul Soriano and Francis Kong. For further inquiries, contact Inspire Leadership Consultancy Inc. at 632-6872614 or 09178511115.)