P-Noy's exclusive smokers' club

It looks like those wanting to be in the inner circle of P-Noy have decided the best way is to join his exclusive smokers’ club. A number of Cabinet officials can’t resist from lighting up with the President and be part of the “smokers circle.” During Cabinet meetings, P-Noy usually takes “cigarette breaks” with Executive Secretary Jojo Ochoa as his smoking buddy, but they now have a new recruit in the person of Communications Secretary Ricky Carandang who reportedly has taken up the habit just to be part of the inner circle.

Those in the know say the best time to privately interact with the President is during these “light sessions” – and it seems Ricky C is taking every opportunity to have the ear of President Noy by taking up smoking – something that other Cabinet members are beginning to think about doing as well. One baby-faced agency head however is holding out so far – prompting some insiders to bet how long it would take before he finally gives in.

Secret (service) tales

A viral email has been circulating supposedly about US Secret Service agents’ behind-the-scenes stories on American presidents, their family and Cabinet purportedly from a book titled “Impressions & Observations.” The email account paints very unflattering pictures about John F. Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson, described as oversexed and “philanderers of the highest order.” Even iconic FLs were not spared, like Jacqueline Kennedy who reportedly ordered kitchen staff to save leftover wine and have them mixed with fresh ones to be served on the next White House occasion.

A lot of the vitriol seems directed against Democrats like Jimmy Carter who was described as a complete phony, portraying a hardworking public persona by carrying an empty luggage for photo ops. Carter was a closet drinker who was “very irresponsible with the football nuclear codes” and disdained the Secret Service – same as the Clintons and the Obamas who allegedly look down on the men. In contrast, the Reagans were described as warm and caring while the Bushes are fondly remembered for their kindness, bringing warm clothes to freezing agents detailed outside.

A quick check however would reveal there is no such book quoted by the email. There is a bestselling “tell all” though, with the lengthy title “In the President’s Secret Service: Behind the Scenes with Agents...” written by former Washington Post reporter Ronald Kessler, who said many of the email accounts are not accurate. He had exclusive interviews from the elite group of men whose job includes having to take a bullet for the US president, describing the perils that go with the work – like the gun battle with Harry Truman’s would-be assassins.

There are similarities though in the email and the agents’ gossip/tales as recounted in the book. Kessler says Reagan sent checks worth thousands of dollars to strangers; the Carters are described as big liars with Jimmy pretending to be hardworking, going to the Oval Office at 5 a.m. – only to fall asleep immediately once the media has taken note of the fact. Gerald Ford was depicted as a cheapskate who gave one-dollar tips to caddies and would cadge small change from agents to pay for things like newspapers.

Just like in the Philippines, even highly placed relatives were not above flexing their muscles to have people removed – like Vice President Dick Cheney’s daughter Mary who had her detail supervisor sacked for refusing to escort her friends to a restaurant. No doubt a similar “tell all” book on Philippine presidents is being planned by anonymous presidential security officers, a Spy Bits source said.

Carping about CARPER

Former Namfrel chairman and agrarian reform advocate Christian Monsod sent us a copy of the CBCP-NASSA manifesto about the plight of farmers who were disillusioned by P-Noy’s failure to tackle agrarian reform during his keynote address at the National Anti-Poverty Commission’s sectoral assembly. Farmers’ groups that supported P-Noy during the 2010 elections are growing impatient over the slow implementation of agrarian reform, compounded by talks about a looming termination of the CARPER law. Agrarian reform should not end by 2014 and government should speed up action on cases that have been pending for over four decades, farmers bewailed, lashing out against the alleged poor performance of the Department of Agrarian Reform in terms of land acquisition and distribution.

Going by a farmer-leader’s ominous warning that they are ready to sacrifice their lives for the sake of agrarian reform, government should not turn a deaf ear to their plight.

Spy tidbit

–– P-Noy’s “no wang-wang” policy may be strictly followed by many government officials, but it seems their drivers or relatives are still bent on lording it over on the streets of Manila, like the driver of this white Ford Expedition with plate number WPD-682 who was the subject of complaint by some Spy Bits readers. He probably thought the huge House of Representatives sticker at the back of his car gave him the right to cut through the path of other vehicles on their way to Trinoma mall along Mindanao Avenue last Sunday, the readers complained, who admitted they had to give way for fear that the Expedition occupants were carrying firearms like the erstwhile bodyguard and driver of political adviser Ronald Llamas.

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