The excellent lifestyle

Is charisma necessary for a person to be successful?

It is helpful, but charisma alone does not guarantee long, sustainable success.

Charisma can also be dangerous. Notice how it appears very near the word “charlatan” in the dictionary.

Charisma works best when paired with trustworthiness.

Guy Kawasaki authored the book called, The Power of Enchantment. I’ve read it, and I promised Kawasaki that I would talk about it to people and even recommend it. Now Guy maintains communication with me through email. We’ve attempted to meet in person – Guy lives in Mountain View, where my family stays during our yearly US vacation – but our schedules hadn’t permitted it. But for a busy and important person like him, Guy never fails to respond to my emails and inquiries. This is one reason why I find him charming and trustworthy.

Maybe you’re asking, “Do you mean that just by responding to emails one can already build people’s trust?” You bet it can!

Digitally speaking, showing up means answering your emails, tweets, voice mails, and video chats. How would you feel if somebody promises to call you back but doesn’t? Does that somebody increase your level of trust or deflate it? So when you promise to call back, call back.

I get hundreds of emails, tweets, Facebook greetings and messages, and SMS. Though I don’t answer them all, especially those that do not require me to, I do respond to as many of them as possible.

When someone pays me a compliment through Facebook, I would reply with a comment of thanks. Some of my friends couldn’t believe I actually do this. My explanation is simple: if those busy people took the extra effort and time to drop me a note, then it is only right that I return the favor by telling them how grateful I am for the thought. This is the rule of reciprocity.

If you want people to trust you, show up physically and virtually. And SHOW UP EARLY.

I have gained the reputation in the industry as a person who shows up early. I believe this removes some stress and tension from event organizers, because we have time to talk about last-minute details, assess the situation, monitor the equipment and the stage, so I can deliver a good job. Showing up early builds my credibility as a speaker who’s professional and serious about his craft. Showing up early builds people’s trust in me.

Establishing trust with thousands of people is a humongous amount of work. It takes time. It takes time to earn and build people’s trust.

Kawasaki tells a story about the government of Ethiopia from the book of author Robert B. Cialdini entitled, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. After an earthquake struck the country in 1985, Ethiopia sent money to Mexico. Ethiopia did this despite its own crushing economic hardships. Why? Because fifty years earlier, Mexico had supported Ethiopia after an Italian invasion. Ethiopia’s action was an act of reciprocity, the act of returning a favor, a gift, or assistance. Isn’t it charming?

Reciprocity has three forms:

When you do something with the explicit, quid-pro-quo expectation of receiving something in return – This is a transaction. It can work, but it’s not charming nor enchanting.

When you do something as an investment for the future, with a “paying-it-forward” aspect. This is not a transaction, because the “give” and the “get” are not explicit or proximate. In fact, the reciprocation may never occur. Though there’s still the possibility that it could. This type of reciprocity can cause enchantment.

When you do something for intrinsic reasons, such as helping others – This is the purest form of reciprocity, because recipients often cannot repay you. This is similar to the parable in the Bible about the Good Samaritan.

Reciprocity causes the most enchantment and increases your trustworthiness the most.

So what’s the deal here? The deal here is to be charming, but most important, to be trustworthy. No one could resist a person who displays these qualities.

(Get daily inspirational quotes and thoughts from Francis! Send “Inspire” to 288 for Smart or Sun subscribers and 2889 for Globe. Visit facebook.com/franciskong2 for more details.)