Your New Year's resolve

I was recently invited to guest in a cable channel’s popular talk show. When they informed me over the phone what the episode will be all about, my mind actually went into high gear. The topic was all about making New Year’s Resolutions. Allow me to share with you the conversation that took place in question and answer format. Here’s how it went:

Question: What are some of the factors to consider when making re-solutions?

FJK (Francis J. Kong): The first thing to consider in making New Year’s resolutions is that they do not work! Because people have always lived with the idea that resolutions do not work. They do for a few weeks, and then they disappear.

Instead of calling them New Year’s Resolutions, why not call them Daily Resolves? You don’t have to wait for the New Year to change yourself. You and I can change every day of our lives. Change does not take a long time. Change takes a nano-second of decision – and a lifetime of maintaining the change.

Question: What tips can you give so people can follow through with their resolutions?

FJK: Three words I would like people to remember in making resolutions become resolves:

1. Repetition

2. Repetition

3. Repetition

There are 4 levels of competence. Whether in training or workshops, they are all the same:

1. Unconscious Incompetence

2. Conscious Incompetence

3. Conscious Competence

4. Unconscious Competence – This is the best level.

List the top 5 resolutions and why you think they’re important. Ex: parents to children, children to parents, friends etc.

FJK: If I were to make a list of the resolves I would want to happen, the most common ones would be:

1. Put in more romance, love and tender caring for your spouse.

2. Hug, kiss and embrace every child at least once a day. And don’t forget the spouse too. (By the way, spice is not the plural for spouse.)

3. Plan that family vacation, and no matter what happens - with the only exception of Jesus coming back or the end of the world – stick to that commitment. I am telling you, this would be one of the most important highlights for your kids. You’ll never regret this.

4. Patch up any conflicts by humbly asking for forgiveness, and then move on.

5. Attend kids’ school functions, and be there on their special occasions.

List the top 5 resolutions [for the workplace], and why you think they’re important. Ex: boss to subordinates, between colleagues.

FJK:

For bosses

Stop playing titles. Tone down your ego, and rather than wanting to be interesting all the time, why not start being interested in building up the people who work for you?

Start training and investing on your people.

For direct reports (I do not like to use the word subordinates. Sub-ordinates seem to mean that these people are sub-standard from the ordinary.)

Get into a serious personal development program. The only guarantee for long-term job security is stellar performance, not Solitaire or Facebook.

For peer to peer

Stop backbiting. Stop gossiping. Be productive and help each other succeed.

Each day should be a brand new day for personal improvement. And never forget to pray for God’s grace to keep you on track.

Happy New Year everyone!

(Develop your leadership skills with Francis Kong this January 19-20 at the EDSA Shangri-La Hotel. Call Pam or Kriselle of Inspire Leadership Consultancy Inc. at 632-6872614 or 09178511115 for further details.)