No regrets

At the 1924 Olympic Games in Paris, the sport of canoe racing was added to the list of international competitions. The favorite team in the four-man canoe race was the United States team. One member of that team was a young man by the name of Bill Havens. As the time for the Olympics neared, it became clear that Bill’s wife would give birth to their first child about the time that the US team would be competing in the Paris games. And so Bill found himself in a dilemma.

Should he go to Paris and risk not being at his wife’s side when their baby is born? Or should he withdraw from the team and remain with his family?

Bill’s wife insisted that he go to Paris. After all, competing in the Olympics was the culmination of a life-long dream. But Bill felt conflicted and, after much soul-searching, decided to withdraw from the competition and remained home where he could support his wife when the child arrived. As it turned out, the United States four-man canoe team won the gold medal in Paris. And Bill’s wife was late in giving birth to their child. The birth was so late, in fact, that Bill could have competed in the event and returned home in time to be with her when she delivered.

People said, "What a shame." But Bill said he had no regrets. For the rest of his life, he believed he had made the better decision. Bill Havens knew what was most important to him. There is an interesting sequel to the story.

The child eventually born to Bill and his wife was a boy, whom they named Frank. Twenty-eight years later, in 1952, Bill received a cablegram from Frank. It was sent from Helsinki, Finland, where the 1952 Olympics were being held. The cablegram read: "Dad, I won. I’m bringing home the gold medal you lost while waiting for me to be born."

Frank Havens had just won the gold medal for the United States in the canoe-racing event, a medal his father had dreamed of winning but never did.

Once a champion always a champion if not now then through the next generation.

This beautiful story by Steve Goodier in his E-newsletter entitled "The Life Support System" reminds us of what is most important in life.

I have a great relationship with my son.

Two years ago, the two of us co-wrote a book on "Paren-teen" and we had fun doing it. The book is entitled: ‘Why don’t you grow up…dad!’

I’m proud of him and I see the maturity he shows as the years go by.

He’s into a lot of things now. Totally business minded, he enjoys working for a very successful company doing marketing stuffs and meanwhile pursues his passion for music as he plays the drums for a fast rising popular band. He’s into sports too. He does Brazilian jujitsu, Capuera and boxing and the day he went into martial arts was the day I have decided to be kinder to him.

He tells me he wants to have his own family by the time he hits 30 so that’s a good many years away but that is the precise reason why I am so careful with the way I live. I have to be an example to him because I want him to have a successful family too.

He sees me as a businessman and he likes to be one too and that’s good.

He sees me taking good care of my health and he does the same thing and that’s good too.

But the one thing I want to see in him is that he will have a God-centered family one day and this is why I need to make sure that mine is today.

My son and I know that real men are not those you see fooling around with other women; real men are those who are big enough and brave enough to stay true to their roles as a faithful husband to his wife and a diligent father to his kids.

Here are the 10 top things that make a real man:

10. Comes home directly from work knowing his "real" job is about to start.

9. Is not afraid to get down on hands and knees and play "horsie".

8. Kisses his children and shows them a man can be gentle.

7. Kisses his wife in front of his children so the children can be secure in the knowledge of a united home.

6. Hugs his family and says "I love you."

5. Is not afraid to cry.

4. Goes with his family to church.

3. Values the advice of his wife.

2. Starts each day with a "quiet time", talking to the Lord.

And the number one thing:

1. Willing to give his own life for his family.

The question now is how are you doing in this list?

Take advantage of the Lenten season to be with your family. You have to plan and schedule time with your family well just as you do with business commitments. Let the words of businessman Lee Iacocca be a reminder for all of us for this is what he says: "No matter what you’ve done for yourself or for humanity, if you can’t look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?"

(You can listen to Francis Kong through his radio program "Business Matters" aired 8:30 a.m. and 6:30 p.m. daily over 98.7 dzFE-FM ‘The Master’s Touch’, the classical music station.)