What the media doesn’t know

"Bad news" sells in any country, no doubt, but if there was ever one story that could have been a real scoop, it was definitely this good news. According to one of our top eye-spies who was present when it happened, two of the most recognized and respected "warriors" in the arena of insurgency wars – the late General Job Mayo and Jolo warlord Kimar Tulawi – accidentally met in 1998 in a quiet residential home in Parañaque where they were invited to attend a small gathering of friends and politicos. Unfortunately, the former Mr. Philippines-cum-military general and the Tausug warlord arrived about an hour earlier than the rest. They met accidentally at the veranda where the bodyguards of the two suddenly pulled their firearms in defense of their leaders. Luckily, the owner of the house was able to pacify the warring groups. When both calmed down and sat across each other before the dining table, the owner of the house blurted out a tall order: He asked the two to patch up. After more than three hours of fierce exchanges, Gen. Job Mayo and Kimar Tulawi suddenly hugged and promised never again to raise their guns against one another. All this was accomplished over a big bottle of XO. According to our ear-spies, what was freakish was the fact that both the General and the Tausug warlord passed away quietly a few years later within days of each other. Perhaps, government negotiators can allot some of its intelligence funds to buy boxes of XO.

M&Ms (MIAA & Monopolies)

The allegations of a high-profile senator that a MIAA top dog is a close business partner of someone who is "related" closely to some of Malacañang’s sacred cows may allegedly have some basis according to information handed over to our ear-spies. Supposed MIAA shenanigans being planned to corner almost every form of airport services contracts seems to have the imprimatur and seal of someone from the "holy of holies." Apparently, some people learn fast from those who have unsuccessfully attempted monopolies. This shenanigan, which this column will reveal in trickles, is literally a giant take-off from the PIATCO controversy.

Not Cleared For The Runway

What is the name of the consulting firm for aviation and defense companies that can’t seem to get its flying school off the ground? The project has a worthwhile vision – to augment the professional aviation training needs of both our military airborne personnel and commercial pilots. Our ear-spies gathered three reasons why the flying school can’t take off: (1) the company is seriously cash-strapped despite the backing of a Canadian company. A Canada-based corporation is very conservative about Canadian projects, more so, projects from the Philippines; (2) the company is allegedly using plans developed by a British firm and claiming it as its own; and (3) Clark Development officials are said to be supporting another company with a similar project proposal (although Clark officials are denying it). Let’s see who has the real dough to get this project up in the air.

Spybiz Text Jokes

As expected, Filipino humor comes into play shortly after Senator Lacson came out with his bombshell. Our SPYBIZ Monitor has been monitoring text massages lately, and it has taken note of many jokes about the recent controversies surrounding the First Gentleman. Here are some of them. GMA supposedly told the First Gentleman shortly after Mark Jimenez exposed the checks he made out to the Luwalhati Foundation, "From now on, you better pidal your own canoe!" So he did! This one’s from a staff member of Senator Lacson: "He will not back-pidal on this expose!" Here’s another one: GMA confronted the First Gentleman and said, "Sino ba TOH si Vicky TOH?" The First Gentleman answered, "Number TOH ko lang sa opisina." The last joke we monitored was that Jose Pidal and Jose Velarde are first cousins! If they’re both proven guilty of money laundering, they’ll end up in Veteran’s Memorial Hospital! What a country!

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