Time to look back as we move on

One thing with having time on your hands, as is the case with long holidays such as this one that’s about to end, is our tendency to look back and think of the good ol’ days. This is particularly true of folks who just turned 50, like me. Okay, so that was two and a half years ago but I still couldn’t quite get over it. The world seems so different, yet so much the same.

In a week’s time, I would be married to the same woman for 25 years. I know that’s not exactly something for the Guinness Book of World Records but, hey, I caught an item on TV the other night that the daughter of Elvis Presley was married to some celebrity for the grand total of one day. Talk of short attention span – a sound bite of a relationship.

It is difficult to say that things are better or worse now than they were 25 years ago. There had been good and bad things and things that simply didn’t change. Do you for instance, realize that next year, Ninoy Aquino would be dead for 20 years? I can still remember what I was doing that afternoon I heard that Ninoy was shot. It was late Sunday afternoon, it was raining furiously and I was preparing to go to a dinner at the house of my boss who was being interviewed by a writer of Business Week.

If Ninoy were to suddenly materialize in our midst and he asked himself if the Pinoy was worth dying for, what do you think Ninoy’s conclusion would be? He’d be embarrassed to be the brother of Butz and Tessie, that’s for sure. He’d feel shortchanged at the condition of the country today, how the hidden wealth of Marcos has remained hidden. He’d be shocked and scandalized that we still do not know for sure who killed him. He’d be forgiven to think that he should have just stayed in Boston and did enough things in the world theater to earn himself a Nobel Peace Prize or something.

Then again, maybe our problem is we keep on looking back, wondering how things might have been. We can’t seem to leave things pretty much as they are and move on. Possibly, because our past is so frustrating, we should just charge everything to experience, you know... sunk costs and move on. Start with a clean slate, from square one. Maybe we should adopt a new salawikain... ang taong lingon ng lingon sa pinangalingan, ay laging matatalisod at hindi makararating sa paroroonan.

Ay naku! Bagong Taon na naman... malamang isang taon na walang pinagbago sa nakaraan. But that’s precisely the challenge we face... to make the New Year significantly new and a break from the heartaches of the past. We simply have to try... for our sake.

Dekada 60. 70

Speaking of flashbacks, here’s a material going the rounds of cyberspace that was forwarded to me by one of our readers, Monchito Vargas. It is really about an American middle class situation in the 60s and 70s, but it could also apply to the Filipino middle class of that era in these islands.

Looking back, it’s hard to believe that we have lived as long as we have... As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention hitchhiking whenever we could!)

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times we learned to solve the problem.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. No cell phones. Unthinkable. We played ball and sometimes the ball would really hurt. We got cut and broke bones and broke teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame but us. Remember accidents?

We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it. We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank sugar soda but we were never overweight.........we were always outside playing. We shared one grape soda with four friends, from one bottle and no one died from this?

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X Boxes, video games at all, 99 channels on cable, video tape movies, surround sound, personal cellular phones, personal computers, Internet chat rooms, then.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s home and knocked on the door, or rung the bell or just walked in and talked to them. Imagine such a thing. Without asking a parent! By ourselves! Out there in the cold cruel world! Without a guardian. How did we do it?

We made up games with sticks, rubber bands, marbles and whatever junk we could pick up from the street. Field games and court games, with tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment.....

Some students weren’t as smart as others so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade... Tests were not adjusted for any reason.

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years has been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

And if you’re one of them. Congratulations!

Regrets

As we start a new year, here’s one more thing I want to wipe clean, if at all possible. This is a column I wrote in reaction to Raissa Robles’s question to Ate Glo about her sex life. I still think her question was uncalled for, but at the same time, I did go overboard with that column that castigated her.

I received this e-mail from one of my loyal readers, David Murphy, and he is right that I had gone out of bounds.

Being a columnist has got to be one of the most difficult jobs in existence. It takes guts to put your ideas out for people to read, on a regular basis with a deadline and without time to ponder and consider whether you really want to publish what you’ve just written. You just know that sooner or later you’re going to write something you wish you hadn’t. I’m guessing that your column concerning the president’s sex life will be one that falls into that category. At least that’s my opinion. Here’s my feedback.

While the question the reporter asked may have been offensive to many Filipinos, as it was published it was posed respectfully and deferentially, including the phrase, "You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to." On the other hand I found your comments concerning the frequency in which the president "gets it" to be crudely phrased and in poor taste. Furthermore, your reference to the vulgar joke about the way the first gentlemen’s weight affects his sexual activities was not only in poor taste, it was cruel and disrespectful. In short, I found the reporter’s question much less offensive than that column.

Anyone can have an "off" day. You might consider limiting yourself to the subject of business, your area of expertise, in the future. Other than this one, I’ve found your columns to be most enjoyable and informative.

God bless

Points well taken. I hereby publicly apologize to Raissa, Alan, Kuya Mike and Ate Glo and to all of you, my readers. I will try to stay in line from now on. Otherwise, write me another David Murphy e-mail.

Salary Axiom

One last thing, for those of you who are hoping to get raises next year, here’s something to think about.

The Salary Axiom: A pay raise is often just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

In the meantime, may you all have a Happy New Year!

(Boo Chanco’s e-mail address is [email protected])