'Upgrading' in France

I left the Philippines in 2006 and made France my new home. I love the Philippines, and lived there for the first 30 years of my life. In fact, I might retire there at age 70. Filipinos always ask me what I miss most, and my consistent reply is: family, fresh Philippine mangoes, and weekly massages.

Last week, I had dinner with a dozen Filipino lawyers on a European tour. One of them asked me about French life and her first question was : How can you downgrade?

From Philippines to France

I did not understand what she meant by downgrading, since I moved from our developing country to one of the richest nations. She could have meant : How could I give up household help, or how could I say goodbye to a privileged life and settle for an existence away from the limelight. In Manila, it’s easy to be thrust in the limelight.

I now wash dishes and sweep the floor… daily tasks that never crossed my to-do-list back home. However, living in the Philippines continually for an entire lifetime is the downgrade. When I moved to France, a layer that veiled my eyes were lifted as I adapted a completely different way of living, eating, speaking and being. A variety of experiences enriched my very existence.

I have experienced four seasons instead of two, and ate food that changes with the seasons, so different from the monotony of canned goods. The language also contains masculine, feminine, formal and informal versions instead of repetitive syllables. It is also a cultural experience: Paris alone has over 70 museums. The list goes on.

Moving out of the comfort zone

Staying in one’s comfort zone prevents a person from evolution and growth. My life in the Philippines was definitely comfortable. I had everything I need, maybe even more. However I did not see much beyond what I had. It was, for example, normal to have major highways cluttered with unharmonious billboards, since I spent over 10 years passing through EDSA for school and work. It was normal to stay in enclosed over-airconditioned rooms, instead of feeling the breeze on my face. It was normal to see people buying branded goods, only for the sake of displaying the brand name, and not based on pure form, heritage or the beauty of the raw material itself. This is just a fraction of what seemed normal to me then, and so ridiculous to me now.

What downgrading means

Back to the lawyer who asked me about life in France. She moved on to ask which branded bag to buy. That day, she did not visit a single museum and her focus was on shopping. I told her, choose an item that will give you personal pleasure, what suits your look and personality, and not something that simply shows status, because a shallow intention can ruin the object, then it will lose its value. I learned this from the French, who themselves have invented many luxury goods. People cannot surround themselves with servants, objects and other forms of creature comforts and then believe they’ve upgraded their status.

Life only becomes rich when you are authentic ; and when your doors are open wide to permit other ways of being. Only then will one understand that repetition and sameness can lead to a stagnant culture, my definition of a downgrade.

Angelique Dominici has been living in France since 2006.