Benefit of the doubt
Here is a story shared by Eleonor Teo. "A mother and her son were shopping in the grocery. While the mother was browsing, her son watched a little toddler in his stroller gazing up at a stack of cans on a shelf. Instinctively, the toddler reached to pick one out, and, like a house of cards, the heavy cans tumbled down towards the tot. The boy attempted to grab the cans before they hit the child, but he couldn’t catch everything. One of the cans still managed to bump the toddler on the forehead causing the child to wail in distress.
"The two mothers ran at the sound of the commotion and the boy’s mother grabbed him angrily, “What did you do? Why did you hit that baby? The toddler’s mother gently defended the boy, “It’s OK, maybe he was just trying to help."
The boy’s mother shook her head, “He’s been a troublemaker since he was little. I’m sure he was up to no good.”
Teo said, "It was heartbreaking. I learned that day to stop assuming the worst in people and to see acts of kindness as what they are –- a nature of goodwill and nothing less. That faith, void of skepticism, has helped me to give people the benefit of the doubt.” (Didache, Daily Bible Reflections For Catholics, January – December 2015).
The scenario painted by Teo is a great reminder to many of us. We also commit this kind mistake. We are hasty in judging right away, whatever reason a loved one or other people tell us. In some cases, we always have that doubt in our mind that they are not telling the truth or there is something that they are hiding from us. Like when a son or daughter, or even a spouse comes home late and tell us that they have many things to do in school or in the office, we accept their reasoning with skepticism. And even warn them by saying, “Just watch out if you are not telling truth.”
The theemotionmachine.com has this to say, “Never trust people blindly, but I believe it’s better to give people the benefit of the doubt, rather than be cynical about everyone and everything people do…If you have a strong reason or evidence to believe someone is bad and selfish, then be cautious around them, or don't interact with them at all. Save your self from the trouble.”
Our source suggests that we should try harder to give people the benefit of the doubt. Here are the following reasons:
We have the tendency to overestimate the factors when observing other people’s actions. We need to honesty ask ourselves, “ If I was in this person’s shoes, with their knowledge and experiences, would I act much differently? By doing this, you learn to empathize and easily give people the benefit of the doubt.
It teaches us how to forgive ourselves for our own mistakes. Making a habit to give other people the benefit of the doubt allows you to give yourself the benefit of the doubt as well. Being gentler in your judgments towards others allows you to be gentler in your judgments toward yourself. Try to focus more on understanding someone and their action, rather than labeling them as an inherently bad and negative person.
- Latest
