Fertility Feng Shui Revisited!

Having a grandchild is one of life's treasures many grandparent wannabes wish with moist eyes! Call it basic instinct  but nature speaks in mysterious ways. Many couples are not gifted with a child.

This is where fertility feng shui becomes a necessity, not an invention! What is love without a love child? What is sex with love if it means omitting the responsibilities of parenthood? Yes, lovemaking in this no-nonsense world can be meaningless with barrenness.

Barring any medical impediment, feng shui can cure infertility – and make many parents’ and grandparents' dreams come true with the mirthful smiles of that longed-for baby boy or girl before their very eyes!

How to “conceive” (the infamous Alma Moreno declaration after last May 9 elections) using feng shui principles and techniques? Let me give you live true-to-life feng shui stories in a jiffy:

1. A couple with no baby for seven years consulted me. It turns out that the masters’ bedroom was off-fertility for the wifey, in terms of chi. Her reproductive zone was in the guest room. The remedy prescribed: Like basketball, I coached them to shoot the ball first half in the masters’ bedroom, then shift second half in the guest room. Guess what? I became a godfather after nine months!

2. Related to above, the brother of the wife who gave birth had the same hereditary concern. Also no baby yet after five years. This brought me to consult on their condo. Lo and behold, a massive beam was above the masters’ bedroom bed. All it took was to reposition the bed, for the wife’s conception. He didn't want to pay consulting fee thinking I was a fraud for such a simple move. His sister paid instead, and saw to it that he followed my instructions. Now he and his wife have three children and living prosperously ever.

3. A desperate mom called to feng shui the condo she gave her daughter. She was getting worried that after six years there was still no grandchild. Together with the son-in-law, her and daughter, we inspected condo and noted the masters’ and other bedrooms to have bad feng shui for making baby. I whispered to husband that the sofa is the best chi. After two weeks, the new grandma texted me her gratitude for finally her daughter was pregnant!

4. A good friend of mine married late, and it took about three years into marriage before asking for feng shui of his home in order to have a have a baby. All it took was a feng shui overhaul of kitchen and masters’ bedroom layout. All the soup numbers 5 to 9 he ate in the past and other aphrodisiac foods prescribed by friends turned out useless versus simple feng shui. He had kids after that quick start.

5. Here is the epic story of them all. I almost lost my wife. Why? She was near my cell phone when a text came in which she read in all caps: “CONGRATULATIONS! WE ARE HAVING A BABY! :)” She hurled the phone at me; good thing I was able to catch it. I said, upon reading the message, “Wait lang!” and texted back the sender: “who u?” and then came the reply: “This is Rotary Club of San Lorenzo Makati President Shelly Lazaro. After seven long years, thank you for your feng shui advice in our meeting last Chinese New Year. Finally we are having a baby! Mwah!”

My wife impishly demanded what advice I gave. Laughingly I told her, “You will not believe it but I advised everybody to try it at 1p.m. with no one else in the house – on top of a new washing machine!” As she was about to pinch me... a text came in from Shelley: “By the way, it was the first time I used my credit card to purchase a new washing machine!” So, there, washing machine feng shui for non-immaculate conception!

Sometimes, the novelty of excitement triggers the right hormonal reproductive chi balance! Hopefully, you may share these compelling true stories to friends who are in despair of having a child, let alone grandparents wanting a grandchild. Just remember, with feng shui, and without medical impediments (of course, those already menopausal are exempted from this unsolicited advice): Never give up, never concede, just conceive! Happy reproduction everybody!