Handling criticism

Most people do not take too kindly to criticism. The problem arises because we oftentimes only value praise. When people speak kind words, we feel good, but when they criticize us we feel miserable. However if we only received false flattery and insincere praise, how would we ever improve ourselves? If we wish to develop and grow we should try, hard as it may be, to accept criticism and appreciate their suggestions.

While it is quite difficult to deal with even the most well-meaning criticism, especially if you  are convinced that you can do no wrong, nor harm, you  must remind yourself that being aware of your flaws and shortcomings and making an effort to accept them will make you an even more respected person.

Criticism can result from perceived shortcomings and failure, actual wrongdoings or unmet hopes and expectations. Sometimes it can also stem from jealousy, or when someone is experiencing a rather bad day.

To be able to respond to criticism with dignity and detachment you must try to learn and remember these simple basic guidelines:

                 .               No matter what people may say about you, you have to stay strong and not let other people influence your own self-worth.

                 .               It is best to wait a little before responding immediately. If we respond with feelings of anger or pride, we might soon regret  it. However, if we wait patiently, it can enable us to reflect in a calmer way.

                 .               Even if people speak in a tone of anger, we should try to detach their emotion from the  useful suggestions which lie underneath.

.               Try to keep people separated from their mistakes as much as possible by criticizing their action and not their persons. It makes the criticism less hurtful.

.               If the criticism that you received was delivered in a friendly and helpful way, then take the time to thank the person and to say that you appreciate the fact the he told you something that can make you an even better  individual.

.               When someone criticizes you directly, you should feel they are not criticizing your real self but just an unillumined aspect of yourself.

.               A good way to deal with criticism is by accepting the fact that you are not perfect. Every person has flaws, and if you can't see any in yourself, then you  are not analyzing yourself as closely as you  should.

.               Control your emotions. You do not have to tear up every time someone says a negative word. Try to focus on the message and its intention to help you instead of focusing on all the hurtful things that were said to you.

A genuine constructive criticism should aim to help someone be the best he or she can be. It is not about making someone feel bad, reducing a person to tears or instilling guilt, though sadly these can be the  unfortunate result. When criticism is given correctly, the person who has been criticized will understand what he has done and will eventually feel inspired to make a change for the better.

As long as the criticism is not spiteful or personal, one should take it to heart. Only by carefully considering what a critic has to say will you be able to improve. Of course this is not always easy to do, since you need to have both self confidence and humility to acknowledge that you could be wrong or  misguided.

The main goal of constructive criticism is to improve the behavior of a person, while making an effort to avoid personal attacks and blame.

It is understandable that one's first reaction to criticism is a refusal to consider the critic's point. However even the experts can have room for development and improvement. You cannot maintain hope to improve if you  refuse to work on yourself which can start by accepting criticism and taking it seriously.

Do not take criticism as a personal attack on you. While this can be hard to do, especially if you put a lot of time and effort into something, trust me, if you make this a habit when receiving criticism, you will save yourself from a bruised ego.