Sincerity and Love

Some years ago an informal survey of college students  at a Catholic university in the United States revealed  the following alarming report:

“Almost half of the students feel that cheating on a class assignment or on a test  is acceptable. Only 6 percent say they would turn to Church teaching for guidance,  when making a moral or ethical decision. Only 9 percent realize that participating in the Eucharistic liturgy on Sundays  is required of all practicing Catholics. 93 percent say that premarital sex is okay if the couple really loves each other.  80 percent of the students surveyed had attended both Catholic elementary  and high school.”

The same trend seems to be developing among our youth,  and the business world.   How many look at cheating and dishonesty  as acceptable practice.  Pre-marital and extra-marital sex  is getting more and more common in today’s culture.  Instead of teaching chastity and self-discipline,  governments and the United Nations are promoting contraceptives  such as condoms, pills and sterilizations. Or, if these do not work – there’s abortion.

In his encyclical “Veritatis Splendor” the late Pope John Paul II discussed  the effects relativism – the belief  that each decides for himself or herself  what is right and what is wrong. He pointed out that the claim that one must follow one’s conscience  becomes a mere matter of a claim to sincerity  rather than a claim to truth.  

Is sincerity enough? Charlie Brown stood at the pitcher’s mount after a game saying,  “I can’t understand why we lost 139 to nothing. We were so sincere.”

Following one’s conscience presupposes an informed  and formed conscience. It is not the same as permissiveness or licentiousness – the freedom to do what pleases us.  

Today’s readings clearly presuppose that human behavior  is subject to moral evaluation  and that some acts can be judged objectively as sinful.  It cannot be determined independently by civil legislation or individual conscience.

In our first reading, Ezekiel sets the stage by reminding us that  we are responsible for our brothers and sisters. This does not mean that we act like busybodies  poking our noses into the life and work of others,  and sit in judgment of other’s behavior, and making tsismis. What it does mean is that when we see moral danger, we are to speak up.  

This responsibility to speak up varies according to our professional and social role. Our bishops have a very high degree of responsibility,  because of their public role in the Church and society,  and because of their duty as teachers.  

So when the Catholic  Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP), speaks up against graft and corruption, cheating in election “dagdag-bawas”  and other frauds, or when they speak against the bill legalizing divorce, same sex marriage, abortion, or death penalty,  they are rightly exercising their duty as teachers of the people.

Next, priests and teachers have a serious obligation  to preach and teach about what is right and what is wrong,  because of their public roles of influence.  Perhaps from the practical point of view,  parents have a serious and sacred obligation to teach and to model  the moral values and the teachings of our faith.  Every parent knows that behavior speaks louder  and more clearly to children than do words,  but explaining moral teachings is still essential.

Every Christian has the duty to take responsibility for our society  through voting, defending moral behavior, challenging immoral behavior and positively influencing the people with whom we work and recreate.

This brings us to our second reading, in which Paul gives us  the motive for both living a moral life  and the reason for our being accountable to one another.   It is the motive of love. Love is so much a part of Christian life that  Paul refers to it as a debt we owe one another.

Here, Paul is not talking about feelings or emotion or sentiment.  Many of us identify love with romantic feelings or emotion,  like being “in love,” or love between close friends,  or parents and children.   Here, Paul is speaking of love as  a choice to want the best for one another,  and to do what is right for one another.  

It is the love of agape. As such, love expresses what the commandments require. Paul sums up his thoughts by saying,  “Love never does any wrong to the neighbor…” Matthew brings us to the final point, the question of living and teaching moral behavior  down to the practical daily life.  

What do we do when someone engages in immoral behavior? What do we do when someone wrongs us? Matthew answers these questions within his discussion  of what Jesus taught about our being a community, a Church. The answer comes not from social norms,  but from the fact that we are community,  who owe love to one another. 

1.   The first step is to point out the other’s fault in private. Because of the love we owe that person,  the context must be one of charitable correction for the good of the other. Sometimes love has to confront the one we love,  so that an evil or wrongdoing can be corrected.

2.   The second step is to appeal to the Church. This could include both the teachings of the Church as well persons. This helps us to remain more objective.

3.   If the other person still refuses to change, the community may treat him or her as a Gentile or tax collector. But remember, Jesus sets the example here  by loving both Gentiles and tax collectors.  

In the face of stubborn refusal to change, however,  we must accept the fact that the other has chosen not to live  as a fully participating member of the Church. In such a case, we have done what we can,  and must remain ready to forgive  when the other seeks reconciliation.

Personal opinion does not determine the objective morality of human activity. We as Catholics have a serious obligation to love  and to teach the Christian values and behavior handed on to us.

We celebrate Jesus’ love for us in the Eucharist together as a community. May his word and this representation of his love for us  strengthen us to love one another.

Let’s close with a prayer that summarizes what we have been saying:

Lord, help us speak out against evil. Give us the wisdom to say what is right, and, to say it in the right way. Give us the courage to realize that what we say may not bear fruit until years after we say it. Finally, Lord, when we are tempted to remain silent and not speak out against evil, remind us of your promise that whoever acknowledges you before others you will acknowledge before your Father in heaven. Amen.