There is Life After Ninety

It has become almost axiomatic that women live longer than men. That is always the explanation why in a certain age group, from 65 onwards, the number of widows is by far larger than the number of widowers.

Certainly among Manila Society’s Senior Citizens the ratio seems to be about fifty-to-one.

This was the subject of conversation in our regular Wednesday luncheon group the other week. Out of the fourteen friends who lunch together every week, we realized that only three had living husbands. Mary Prieto’s Leo, pushing 80, has still a long way to go and too "young" to qualify for this series. But Loleng Panlilio’s Pabling is still very much around at 92, and, of course, Madeleine Lim’s "PL" is still suave and elegant at almost 90.

Why? Somebody suggested that it is no coincidence that the hardy gentlemen happened to be married to attractive younger women!

We asked Pabling Panlilio for the secret of his longevity, and he said laughing, "I always say that my formula is a lot of activity, very little meat and a little ‘landi’." His wife, the statuesque Loleng, joined the general laughter at the varied interpretations of what that last word meant.

Actually, Pabling explained, his main activity with ladies other than his wife is when he dances with them. Dancing is his favorite form of exercise. Whenever he goes dancing at the Architect’s Center or in the afternoon sessions at the home of dedicated dancer Egie Apostol, he is greeted enthusiastically by the ladies who call him "our free DI".

But Pabling not only dances. He goes to his office every morning to check on going architectural projects. And on weekends he goes to one of his many rest houses that range from his farm in his native Pampanga to Tagaytay, Baguio and as far as Las Vegas.

Traveling is another favorite pasttime and the Panlilios take regular trips abroad. Their favorite is luxury cruises where undoubtedly they attract a lot of attention with their dancing. Visits to a daughter in Hawaii is another annual activity.

Not everybody can have his lifestyle, but whatever is his formula it obviously works, because Pabling Panlilio at 92 is as active, alert, bright-eyed and smiling as he was when we first met him in the United States when he was a young student of architecture some 65 years ago. He even has the same hair do and his own hair!

The same may be said of Elpidio "Elpi" Valencia who is also turning 92. He also has a younger and very attractive wife, our very good and almost life-long friend, Rosie Osmeña Valencia. However, he has a more quiet lifestyle these days. His formula is "Moderation in everything". He eats a sensible diet that includes a moderate amount of all his favorite foods. He commutes regularly between his penthouse apartment in Makati and his ancestral home in Malolos, Bulacan. The Valencia Makati condominium is adorned with many sentimental souvenirs of the Valencias’ romance in Malacañang when Rosie was the President’s daughter and he the dashing aide de camp to Don Sergio Osmeña. On the walls of the Valencia apartment are hung framed samples of Rosie’s fine needle work and one of the prize trophies of her deep sea fishing–a stuffed blue marlin long enough to cover a whole wall. A unique screen is covered with family pictures at various stages of their lives.

Now, Elpie’s main activity is writing his autobiography and for this he retires to the old family mansion in Malolos. It is quite an endeavor because it covers a colorful life that started as a young boy raised by his strict old maid aunts in a quiet provincial town and includes his wartime experiences as a young US army doctor during the last World War as well as his later career.

Musing on all his past activities, Elpie smiles and says philoso-phically, "That was when I was young–now the most exciting thing that happened recently was when I won the jackpot at a slot machine at a local casino."

Anyway, Pabling Panlilio and Elpie Valencia are two living proofs that not only women can live to past ninety.

Incidentally, only last week we attended a gathering of the Marquez clan to celebrate the birthday of our oldest uncle, Gregorio Marquez Jr. who was turning 97! "We were going to wait for his hundredth birthday," said his daughter Dee (Litchfield), "but decided we would celebrate his birthday every year until he reaches a hundred!"

For this 97th birthday, all of Tio Goyo’s eight American children came for the clan gathering. Oldest among the guests was 92-year-old aunt, Pilar Carballo Marquez, whose husband Manuel Marquez died two years ago at age 98!

Just to show that there is still life after 97, when Pinky Marquez, a great grand niece and a well-known singer, belted out a few songs for him, the honoree stood up from his seat and kissed her enthusiastically to the cheers of the whole clan.

Need we say more to prove that men can make it too?