A child’s transition

There are several stages in a child’s life when it is appropriate to start him or her in sports. With summer weeks away, many children will be transitioning into their first sporting activity, whether for fun, health of a possible competitive career. A child goes through multiple growth spurts: at ages six, nine, 12, in their mid-teen years, at 19 and, if they’re lucky, will keep growing until about 21 or 22.

The first decision you have to make is regarding your purpose. Why do you want your kid in sports? Is it for them to be healthier, stronger, meet more people, pursue their passion, follow in your footsteps, or have a future career as an athlete? For some parents, it can even be just to carve out some time during the week for themselves while their offspring are training. This brings into the picture the question of cost and convenience. According to Malcolm Gladwell, it takes 10,000 hours of practice in something to be world-class in that field. That means, for a child of 10 to 12, roughly three hours a day of work for 10 years. It’s a lot to ask for a parent to be there most of that time, even for just a fraction of it. Is the training venue, swimming pool, practice hall, or court near you? Are you paying per lesson? It all adds up. It’s a serious commitment.

Once a child can walk or run and keep its balance, they may start doing sports for fun, socialization, promoting growth and stamina, and stimulating overall development. Later, they learn discipline, hard work, and teamwork. Swimming, self-defense and a handful of other sports are most commonly the entry point into sports. Team-oriented sports like basketball and football are more easily learned by children who are slightly older. What is important is that the child either discovers their passion for it, or enjoys it. If not, it will become a source of stress and conflict. In the case of my two sons, they inevitably gravitated towards basketball, though they tried, swimming, aikido, wall climbing, running, and a few other sports. For my daughter, swimming has always been her passion, but as an adolescent, she is now open to trying other sports.

As a young child, my health issues necessitated my getting into sports to improve my quality of life. I had asthma, which required me to take a jeep and walk a few blocks to a public pool every day for two years. I only stopped because the water eventually got so dirty, it has green stuff floating around in it, and I ended up in the hospital with an infection. Scoliosis needed a different kind of work, painful exercises to force my back straight. Being flatfooted meant I couldn’t stand still, so I ran a lot. And lastly, being healthier and stronger eliminated my debilitating migraines. So you could say that sports saved my life, and I’ve spent the last four decades giving back to it.

When dealing with children, what is most important is that we do not force them to do the things we want to do, or wished we had done, or what their siblings are doing. Each must find his or her own path, own niche, own thing. We shouldn’t impose our unfulfilled or frustrated dreams on them. At best, we can try to nudge them in a similar direction. Of course, I was sad when my boys stopped playing competitively in third-year college about 10 years ago, but I told them that playing basketball was my dream, not necessarily theirs. They had been stuck on Team B, at a time when Ateneo won five UAAP titles in a row, so they didn’t really feel needed. They had already more than fulfilled my requirement for them to have a sport to keep them healthy and away from vices. Besides, they were adults. It was their decision.  

Playing sports is one of the Divine’s greatest gifts. It’s been called the toy store of human life. It is also God’s laboratory.  If you pay attention, you’ll learn all that you need to know about yourself and other people. Adversity introduces a man to himself, and success and failure reveal more of what you are. That knowledge will serve you well, no matter where you end up.